I wish that when i die, i could reincarnate as a tree on Runeterra, because then someone would eventually chop me down, and then i could hope that Lillia would eventually rest her tight little deer ass on me while she stops to sit down, and take a long (emphasis on long) rest
Hey fellas, it has been quite a while since I posted here. I actually haven't touched league in many months, when my life as the blue man ended I got a job, a girlfriend, a dog, a nice house. Honestly things have never been better for me.
But every so often when my GF isn't home I go into the basement and I stare at my computer for no reason. It calls to me, tempts me. Staring at it I get visions, I can see Rod of Ages, I can FEEL the power.
Ever since about two weeks ago I've been having this awful recurring dream; I can see Ryze holding a seraph's embrace, but it's not the new seraphs, it's the old one. Ryze stares at me blankly and says "Wake up. Wake up" over and over and I awaken in front of the computer, my finger on the power button. I usually mutter to myself "Riot would never do that" and I walk back to spawn.
A few days ago my girlfriend demanded I see a doctor because and I quote "I have been so pale I almost look blue". I visited the doctor and he looked at me and said "you need more mana". And gave me my scroll.
After realm warping back home I noticed that the computer was turned on and my support was stacking tears of the goddess. "What is 'League of Legends'?" She screamed at me. "Is this where you go at night? What's with those tattoos? Are you even listening?!"
I had no idea why my support was flaming me. I didn't actually need to mute her as she eventually left saying something about a "breakup". "At least the runes are safe" I think to myself. Thankfully my jungler Warwick is actually loyal and would never leave me over a 40 game loss streak.
Has anyone else been enjoying the new seraph's? I have been fired from my job as a forklift operator but otherwise I can't help but feel my life is back on track
Odoamne became what everyone feared. His eyelids disappeared, his head was swelling and his ears started bleeding. “Are you okay bro?” asks Comp. "I’ve never been better Markos, I see it all now, they’re not going Baron or Dragon. They’re going home."
Next before TwitchCon, let's talk about NA.
You disgust me, you disgusting pieces of shit.
Your sorry scrub, bum, paycheck stealing bitch ass motherfucking bastards couldn't win one game. Not one game.
You couldn't take home one dub bro.
Like, I get it guys. You guys make zero content. You have no brands. You do not show up anywhere. You barely get flamed by anybody except maybe on Twitter DMs, bro.
I'm live 10 hours-ish a day five days a week. I get that.
Do you understand?!?!?! I tank the harrassment 99% of the time. So, when you lose, reminder, you're losing for me. Fuck NA, you're affecting me, and at this point my lawyers are probably going to contact these teams, because they're making me look bad.
I don't have too much to say. And notice I'm not saying we, suck. I'm saying they suck. I'm not a part of NA bro. I don't care. I don't care. I disown NA. I don't care bro they're trash.
The most embarrassingly pathetic games I've seen in my life bro.
Putting up no fight at all, just rolling over. It's so cringe.
You fucking sons of bitches, it's horrible bro, it's terrible. All I pray is guys, guys, don't, listen. I was going to say don't get on the plane back home if you go 0-18, but, it's in NA. Like bro it's a fucking hour flight. You can drive a car.
So I don't even know. Don't show your faces again bro. Don't show your faces again if you go 0-18. It would be so embarrassing for me. I don't care about for you, for me I'm not kidding. I might quit streaming, not going to lie, so bear that in mind. That's that bro.I don't have too much to say. And notice I'm not saying we, suck. I'm saying they suck. I'm not a part of NA bro. I don't care. I don't care. I disown NA. I don't care bro they're trash.The most embarrassingly pathetic games I've seen in my life bro.Putting up no fight at all, just rolling over. It's so cringe.You disgust me, you disgusting pieces of s**t.Your sorry scrub, bum, paycheck stealing b**ch a** motherf***ing bast**ds couldn't win one game. Not one game.You couldn't take home one dub bro.Like, I get it guys. You guys make zero content. You have no brands. You do not show up anywhere. You barely get flamed by anybody except maybe on Twitter DMs, bro.Do you understand?!?!?! I tank the harrassment 99% of the time. So, when you lose, reminder, you're losing for me. F*** NA, you're affecting me, and at this point my lawyers are probably going to contact these teams, because they're making me look bad.
Who is Jojopyun?
For the blind, Jojo is the light.
For the hungry, Jojo is the bread.
For the thirsty, Jojo is the fountain.
For the sick, Jojo is the cure.
For the prisoner, Jojo is freedom.
For the liar, Jojo is the truth.
For the traveler, Jojo is the way.
NAmen
As the third game ends and EG rises to celebrate a clean 3-0 Nisqy tears his jersey off to reveal a C9 shirt and starts chanting "USA USA USA" while frothing BBQ sauce from his mouth. Loud gunshots echo into the air in the arena and overhead a lone bald eagle screeches while dropping a green card on Nisqy's outstretched hands and shedding a single proud tear.Jojopyun: “Nisqy trick y’all, man, like he playing mid well. He don’t help nobody, man. He just running around, no lane prio, doing nothing.” Made sure to note that Nisqy went 4/13 in a 3-0 today.Then, I played vs him. "jojopyun". It was just another day of Play-ins, but not for me. This was the first time someone had truely decimated me in midlane, far worse than any LCK or LPL player on the Korean ladder. My jungler and Support must be at fault I thought. He's playing so aggressive, and where is my jungle and support? But it didn't matter how many times they came mid, he would outplay nearly every time and even when he didn't he would still win the lane. I was amazed and inspired that someone could play so well, what is he doing different? Is it because he's 16 years old and I have health problems? No, it wasn't. I started studying the VOD's extensively, clearly I didn't learn everything there is to know about the game if this kid is beating me. Then I saw it, we enter lane and I see him spamming dance as Sett.Overheard in MAD locker room after Game 2:
“He got me,” Nisqy said of Jojopyun’s Sett laning versus him. "That f*ing rookie boomed me."
Nisqy added, “He’s so good,” repeating it four times.
Nisqy then said he wanted to add Jojo to the list of players he 1v1’s with this summer.Jojopyun when asked about the difference in preparing for LOUD vs preparing for MAD:
"Do guys in the play-ins go to sleep early the night before playing Nisqy and MAD? Hell no. ... I'm going to the grubhub app ... have me a nice little bud light... Tinowns? I'm going to bed at 8 o'clock. ... Mom, don't call me. My girl, don't call me."