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LoL

I’m sick of Faker. I try to support Chovy. Faker wins worlds.

    Its the Xiangling copypasta from Genshin Impact but changed to Faker a professional LoL player for T1.

    I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Faker. I try to support Chovy. Faker wins worlds. I try to support Shanks. Faker wins worlds. I try to support BDD. Faker wins worlds. I want to support Poby. His best team has Faker. I want to support Guma, Keria. They both want Faker.

He grabs me by the throat. I root for him. I cheee for him. I give him the stream donation. He isn't satisfied. I buy his HOL skin. "I don't need this many skins" He tells me. "Give me more Worlds tournaments." He grabs Oner and forces him to play Mundo first time in a Game 5. "I think we have to pick Mundo, there are no hard counters for it."

I can't buy their Worlds Skins, I don't have enough Riot Points. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." He picks Azir. He says "Azir! Get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, shurima shuffle. What a cruel world.

    I’m the guy you don’t want on your team

      I’m the guy you don’t want on your team
      byu/alexandergutt inleagueoflegends
       I'm the guy you don't want on your team 

I'm a normal guy. I work a corporate job in a profession that requires qualifications. I perform well there. I have a university degree. I have a few friends, two cats, and a girlfriend. Planning to have kids. I get along with people. People describe me as calm, collected, and very intelligent.

This game, however, brings out something from deep within me. This thing is not human. This entity is toxic, it's self-destructive, it's defiant. I become an absolute garbage goblin monkey when I play this game. I go on 10-game winning streaks, I go 30/5. And similar losing streaks going 2/19. But it doesn't matter if I win or lose. Somehow, I think I play for the rage. And win or lose, I rage all the same.

I used to play this game normally. Played ranked and got to gold with a 60-70% winrate the first season I played. At some point I lost a few games in a row, and something clicked within me. This was in season 6.

I am permanently tilted. I cannot bring myself to care about winning or actually try, yet I go absolutely berserk if I lose a trade, miss a last hit, or die in lane. I lost a trade? You better believe I'm going to all-in and die. I miss a last hit because the minion suddenly has a mind of its own and runs away from me while it dies? I'm probably going to flash and ult in place.

I sometimes wake up from a sort of gaming-induced haze, simultaneously realising and wondering what the hell I am doing as I cackle to myself atop my anti-haemorrhoid pillow while typing "wait for late", "play safe" to my teammates after dying three times in five minutes on Master Yi top. I'm a grown man. A sort of inside joke, but I am the only one in the know. I have responsibilities. They don't know I'm parodying a certain archetype that exists in this game's player base. I have work tomorrow. Because, of course, they can't distinguish me from someone truly of that archetype. I could be doing something productive. And I ask myself: Am I actually pretending?

I can't keep myself from attempting things that I know will with 90% certainty have a negative outcome. I can't bring myself to care enough to play patiently and just not do it. Yet when it goes wrong, I turn into a despicable, raging, basement-dwelling troll.

I can't let the game win. I can't let the sanctimonious normies who tell me to take a break to avoid tilting win. I queue up again, I ban None. I take ignite. And the day is ruined.

      Bro, I played against chovy, shovy, whatever the fuck his name is

        Tyler1 Chovy copypasta

        Its from a clip of Tyler1 ranting on Chovy in NA SoloQueue. In the clip, Tyler criticized Chovy for caring so much about Creep Score that it negatively impacts his team. Its became meme because it was 100% true based on how Chovy plays in World Championship.

        Bro, I played against chovy, shovy, whatever the fuck his name is. Dude this guy is ill. So I beat him obviously I beat that fucking bastard. He is so easy to play against because... I play against him Sion mid. Dude, I think this guy has an illness. No,no,no he will not sack waves ever like to the point where he is negatively impacting his team. For instance, he could have won a teamfight. Would he have died yes but he would have got like a 4 man shurima shiffle, actually he would have. It would have been nuts. But if he did the play, he would have died, his team would have won, and he wouldn't be able to farm midlane. So he just didn't go to it or try it. I was like wtf. I would push a side wave and I was like wait a minute I bet he tps here and not miss the wave and he tps so I was like okay how about this so I slow pushed a 3 stack wave toplane, I had Oner on my team, and we dove him because we knew he would be there even though everybody else on my team -his team was fighting botside, Bro so easy oh my god

        Ornn the mage, deathknight, paladin, hunter, rogue, warrior, enchanter, tank…

          Ornn copypasta from League of Legends

          From a description of Ornn by LS where he did a bit describing Ornn as multi-talented.

          -is because Ornn the mage, deathknight, paladin, hunter, rogue, warrior, enchanter, tank, bruiser, wizard, warlock, priest, assassin, gunslinger, druid, shaman, necromancer, ninja, gunslinger, Bard monk, robot, conjurer, blacksmith, mystic, warden, god, illusionist, templar, wizard. Was able to take up so much damage.
          Welcome to the League of Legends Champion Spotlight, featuring Orrn, the mage deathknight paladin hunter rogue warrior enchanter tank bruiser wizard warlock priest assassin gunslinger druid shaman necromancer ninja gunslinger bard monk robot conjurer blacksmith mystic warden god illusionist templar wizard.

          Faker

            Faker is a professional League player

            Faker is a professional League of Legends (LoL) player for T1 and is arguably the most popular esports player based on his achievements and legacy.

            The goat is never washed

            I was out of town, doing a bit of visiting. I heard my friend KkOma had finally taken the time to settle down in the countryside. Rightfully so, after what he’d been through, with all the pent-up stress and frustration built up over the years of coaching the most successful KR team in League.

“How have things been buddy?” I asked, as I saw my man step out of the house upon hearing my car come in the drive-through. “All good, life’s been a lot more chill, now that I’ve retired,” he answered. “Hey, wanna check out my animals out back? I’ve taken up farming as a hobby with my free time,” as he motioned over to the back gate.

We headed out and he started introducing me to some of the livestock, mentioning how he had named them after his players, as the unhinged animals they were. Just then, I was hit by an unbearable stench. With my eyes watering uncontrollably, I questioned through gritted teeth, “What in the hell is that smell?”

He looked over knowingly and said: "Ah. Faker? The goat is never washed.”

            If Faker has a million fans

            If Faker has million number of fans I am one of them. If Faker has ten fans I am one of them. If Faker has no fans, that means I am no more on the earth. If world is against Faker, I am against the world. I love Faker till my last breath.

            When both teams are even in gold, Faker feels that T1 is at a great advantage

            When both teams are even in gold, Faker feels that T1 is at a great advantage and thus he does not hesitate to start a team fight. When T1 is 3k behind in gold, Faker thinks that T1 is at a small advantage, and he so he starts a team fight to secure their “lead”. When T1 is behind 7k in gold, Faker thinks that T1 is at a disadvantage and so he looks for a team fight to regain control of the game. When T1 is 10K behind in gold, Faker thinks that the team has reached a desperate situation and they are only waiting passively for their death if he does not start a team fight

            Faker is a tactical genius

            Its the Aleksib copypasta from CSGO but changed to Faker from LoL.

            Faker is a tactical genius. He is best known for his signature tactic ”Go Nash and take it”. He also has a second little known tactic of ”Go Nash but fake it”. What an absolute legend. Top 3 IGL 4 sure.

            Who is Faker

            Who is Faker? For the blind, He is the vision. For the hungry, He is the chef. For the thirsty, He is the water. If Faker thinks, I agree. If Faker speaks, I’m listening. If Faker has one fan, it is me. If Faker has no fans, I don’t exist.

            Who is Faker (Twitch version)

            Who is Faker? GIGACHAD For the blind, He is the vision. GIGACHAD For the hungry, He is the chef. GIGACHAD For the thirsty, He is the water. GIGACHAD If Faker thinks, I agree. GIGACHAD If Faker speaks, I’m listening. GIGACHAD If Faker has one fan, it is me. GIGACHAD If Faker has no fans, I don’t exist..

            Want to see me win on a Baron play? Want to see me do it again?

            Faker: Want to see me win on a Baron play? Want to see me do it again?
            T1: Want to see me win on a Baron play? Want to see me do it again?