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Jokes

Copypasta related to an internet joke.

Hey guys I know I was less active, but I wanted to let you know my baby girl was born today 🥹

    It started as a joke Tweet by @absolutLeah before turning into a Twitter meme.

    Hey guys I know I was less active, but I wanted to let you know my baby girl was born today 🥹
    
    Welcome to the world, [NAME]
    
    I can’t wait until you’re old enough to understand the meaning of your name, my sweet little light 👼

    A man goes to a newspaper stand every day, buys a copy of Pravda, glances at the front cover, curses, and throws it away.

      There's an old Soviet joke:
      
      A man goes to a newspaper stand every day, buys a copy of Pravda, glances at the front cover, curses, and throws it away.
      
      After a few weeks of this the seller just has to ask what's going on: "why do you always look at the cover but never inside?"
      
      "I'm looking for an obituary."
      
      "An obituary? But those are in the back!"
      
      "Oh no, the obituary I'm looking for will be on the front page."

      “Give me your wallet!” Unload my FN Five-seveN on him instead

        Its a greentext joke on 4chan that made fun of how expensive the Five-SivenN rounds are.

        > walking home one night 
        > Mugger comes out of nowhere 
        > "Give me your wallet!"
        > Unload my FN Five-seveN on him instead 
        > Realize that I used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo 
        MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet

        This was a good, honest .500 basketball team

          AKA “.500 copypasta” its a classic basketball pasta that was started by a Grizzlies fan(?) on a Reddit post. Its often used whenever a team is under performing hence the joke of it being an alright honest team that doesn’t win nor lose to many.

          Memphis Grizzlies (basketball)

          This was a good, honest .500 basketball team. We played .500 ball goddammit. Salt of the earth, punch the clock, even win/loss ratio basketball. We lost a couple, guess what? We won a couple, too. But we never got too excited or let it go to our head. No long winning streaks here, no sir. That's hubris, which this blue collar, hard working everyman team didn't have. A few wins in a row, these guys, true to form, balanced it out with a couple a losses. Yes sir, that was my 2021 Grizzlies. A good, honest .500 basketball team. 

          White Sox (baseball)

          This is a good, honest .500 baseball team. They play .500 ball goddammit. Salt of the earth, punch the clock, even win/loss ratio baseball. They lost a couple, guess what? They won a couple, too. But they never got too excited or let it go to their head. No long winning streaks there, no sir. That's hubris, which that blue collar, hard working everyman team didn't have. A few wins in a row, those guys, true to form, balanced it out with a couple a losses. Yes sir, that was my 20th and 21st Century Chicago White Sox. A good, honest .500 baseball team.