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Emojipasta

A block of text that has been “emojified” meaning that it now contains an absurd number of emojis in them. An attempt to ridicule the use of emojis in text.


Independence Day 🇺🇸

    Hey 👋you hot 🔥⭐️ piece of American 🇺🇸 ass 🍑! Today 🌞 is the fourth 4️⃣ of July ⭐️ also known as 💭 Independence Day! 1776 🙈 years ago, America 💙❤️💙 was ruled 👸🏼 by King George Washington 🍆👴🏼 from the country 🇹🇷 Europe 😱😖. Thank goodness 🙏 Daddy Sam 🍆👨🏻🇺🇸 and Barrack Obama 🍆👦🏾 won our freedom 🙌 from them. Today 🏆 is a day to celebrate 🍾🎊🎉 our religious 🙏 and sexual🍆 😳 liberties. So get down ⬇️ on your knees 👖and worship your daddy 🍆👴🏼 and thank him 👌 for your liberal 😻 labia 🌷! Send this to 🔟 of your favorite Stars ⭐️ and stripes sluts 👸🏼👧🏻👶🏻! If you get 0️⃣ to 5️⃣ back, freedom rings 🎊 throughout your pussy 🎀 because it is so empty 🗑 and large 👀. If you get 6️⃣ to 8️⃣ back, your daddy 🍆👴🏼 is sure to give 👉 your sweet land of Liberty 👅👄 a taste 👏😫! And if you get 9️⃣ to 🔟 back, your patriotic 🇺🇸🎊💙❤️ pussy will be filled with nationalism 🇺🇸💙❤️💯 and dick 🍆!
    IT’S OUR 🇺🇸NATION’S 🇺🇸 BIRTHDAY 🎊🎉🎉 PATRI-SLUTS😋😋😩 AND IT HAS A BIIIG 😉💯🍆👅 PRESENT FOR YOU!!1! OUR DADDY 👨👀🍆💦 UNCLE SAM 🔥🔥🔥WANTS YoU😘😩🎊😏! HE’s BRINGING his STAR 🌟✨⭐SPANGLED 💥⚡🔥BONER 🙇😯🎉😩😩 TO GIVE YOU FREE🅱️OM TO HOE‼️ BUTT😉 that’s not ALL. HE’S gonna launch his rocket 🚀😩😋 into your HO(m)E OF THE BRAVE🍑🍑🍑 and EXPLODE✨💥😩 in your SPACIOUS SKIES👉👌👌👌. IF YOUve DECLARED your HOEDEPENDENCE 😩👉👌🇺🇸 DADDY will eat that ASS😩😋 like apple 🍎 pie 😋🇺🇸👌💯. iF yoUVE been a COMMIE 😡😤👺🖕❌❌ NO FREEDOM CUMMIES FOR U! 😣🍆💦💦❌🙅😔😔 send this to 2️⃣5️⃣ SONS of LIBERTITTY 👦👦🔥💦😜 & you’ll get Daddy SAMs’ MEGA THICC PATRIODICK‼️😜😜🔥🔥🍆💦💦🎉🎁💦😩😩😍
    Happy fWHOREth of July 🇺🇸💥 my fellow SLUTTY 🍆💦 AmeriCUNTS! 🇺🇸😂 On this day 📅 in 1️⃣7️⃣7️⃣6️⃣, the DADDIES 👴🏻🍆 of our nation 🇺🇸 got DRIPPY 💦💦 together & signed 📝 the Declaration of IndependSEX, 🇺🇸👉👌 breaking away 💔 from those COCK BLOCKING 🚫🍆❌ Brits 🇬🇧☕ & giving us our 🙌 freedom 🙌 to FUCK! 🍆🍑💦 So grab those 💥 sparklers 💥 & start LICKIN 👅💦 some BUTTHOLES 🍑 good ol AMERICAN style! 🇺🇸💦 SHOOT ↗️🎉 your LOAD 🍆💦 of 💥 fireworks 💥 off, FLOP ⤵️ those BIG ASS 🍑 John HanCOCK 🍆🌭 WEINERS 🌭 on the grill, 🍳 & wave 👋 the 🌟 Star SPANKING 🍑👏 Banner, 🇺🇸 praising 🙌 the red 🔴, WHITE ⚪💦 & blue! 🔵 Send ➡️ this to 1️⃣0️⃣ PATRIOTIC PUSSIES 🇺🇸😹 or you won't 🚫 get Lady Liberty's 🗽 GREEN TITS 🗽 in your face tonight! 😭 Get 3️⃣ back & you're a 🇺🇸 Ben FrankCLIT LICKER 👅💦 Get 5️⃣ back & you're a 🇺🇸 John PennIS SUCKER 🍆🍆 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back & you're the 🇺🇸 Thomas JefferSUCC SLUT QUEEN 🍆💦👑
    🏳️‍🌈PRIDE MONTH🏳️‍🌈 IS OVER 🙅‍♀️AND JUST LIKE 🏢CORPORATIONS👨🏻‍💼DROPPING THE GAYS💅 OR 🫢THE SUPREME COURT🏛👨🏻‍⚖️DROPPING 😤WOMENS RIGHTS🤦‍♀️, ANOTHER 🙃EMOJI 🫠TEXT🫡 IS😯 HERE🤪
    
    🎇🎆ITS ALMOST 🇺🇸INDEPENIS DAY 🫡🍆MY FELLOW AMERICUNTS🇺🇸🍆 IN 1776 THE FOUNDING DADDIES 👨‍💼💁‍♂️WROTE ✍️THE DICKlararion🍆 OF HOE-DEPENDENCE✨🍑THATS RIGHT 👴🏻UNCLE SAM WANTS YOU 🫵TO SUCC👅 HIS STAR SPANGLED✨ 🅱️ONER🍆 POP💥 THOSE PATRIOTIC PUSSIES 🫦 FOR COCK BLOCKING🙅‍♂️ THOSE BRITS 🇬🇧 AND FLOP ⤵️THOSE JOHN HAN-COCKS 💦ON THE GRILL🌭
    
    SEND THIS TO 1️⃣ and YOURE A COMMIE 🔴 FOR CUMMIES 💦👅 3️⃣and YOURE GETTING PATRIODICKKED DOWN🇺🇸🫡🍆 5️⃣ and YOULL GET A VISIT 🎆FROM BEN FRAN-CLIT💦 LICKER 👴🏻🪁👅 🔟AND BET YOUR STAR 🌟SPANKING 💥🍑👋BANNER 🇺🇸LADY LIBERTYS 🗽TITS 🍈WILL BE IN UR FACE 2NITE 🤪
    HAPPY JULY F(WHORE)TH BITCHES!!!!!🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 be proud of your CUMtry as you fight for your freedom to FUCK 🍆💦😩 don't be independent today, find yourself a FOUNDING DADDY 😉 to shoot his FIREWORKS into you 😩🎆 if you want a sexy freedom fighter to give you his hotdog 🌭 just yell 🔴"THE REDCOATS ARE CUMMING"🔴 it doesn't matter if you're a down-ass 😏😏😏 ALEXANDER HAMILTON type bitch or shy and thick like BENJAMIN FRANKLIN 🍑💦 send this to 10 other freedom lovin' sluts🇺🇸 or you'll be thrown away 💁🏻🚮 like tea into the water 🐸☕️🌊 don't forget your Independence Day CUMMIES!!!💦💦💦
    SAY 🗣 GOODBYE 👋TO THE ◼◼◼◼ RAINBOWS🏳️‍🌈🌈 OF JUNE 📅
    
    THE ONLY 🕶 COLORS 🎨THAT MATTER IN JULY 🗓 ARE
    
    RED 🔴WHITE ⚪AND BLUE 🔵
    
    IN HONOR🏅 OF INDEPENDENCE DAY 🇺🇸🏈🎆, TRUMP 👨🏻‍🦰 HAS DECIDED THAT AMERICA 🇺🇸IS SECEDING ✂️ FROM THE WORLD 🌎
    
    RUSSIA 🇷🇺 IS ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛CREATING 🏗 A YUGE PLANET 🌌🌏 FOR US ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ TO HABITATE TOGETHER. 👨‍❤️‍👨
    
    IT IS TOO SMALL 🐜 FOR ANY ALIENS 👽👾THAT COME FROM MEXICO 🇲🇽🌮🌯 OR MARS 🇲🇭♂️ SORRY 🙇‍♀️
    
    SO PACK YOUR BAGS 👜🎒👝🛍, WE ARE GOING TO TAKE A GIANT LEAP 🕴 FOR THE ONLY MANKIND 👨🏻‍🦰 THAT MATTERS, WHITE AMERICANS 👱🏻‍♂️ 🇺🇸
    
    DRINK A BUDWEISER 🍻 AND REPORT 🚨TO YOUR LOCAL BASEBALL ⚾️ STADIUM FOR TAKE OFF 🚀👩‍🚀👨‍🚀
    
    BUT REMEMBER NO VEGANS 🥕🥔🍠🍅🍆🥒, DEMOCRATS 🐴🔵, OR ENVIRONMENTALISTS 🌲🌴🌷🌻🌹ALLOWED. ✔
    POP 🧨 POP 🎆 POP 🎇 THAT PUSSY 😩 ON THIS 🦅 FREEDOM DAY 🇺🇸. Did you know that the 3️⃣ colors of the flag 🇺🇸 mean some SHIT❔ The RED ♥️🌹 stripes on the flag represent the HANDPRINTS 🙌🏼 😏on your ASSCHEEKS 🍑 The WHITE 🤍⚪️ stripes represent the cummies 😜💦 that’ll be ON and IN you 😩😛 and the BLUE 💙🔵 represents the DICK 🍆 RIDING BRUISES 🥵 make SURE you celebrate 🎉 RIGHT 👌by getting ZADDY’s big rocket 🚀 💦 into your CANNON 🐱 and letting it FIRE 💥 into you 😤 RIDE that GIRTHY 💪🏼 DIIICK like the British 🇬🇧 are cumming 😛🍆💦 spread that eagle 🦅 wide to feed 😏👅 zaddy better than any cookout 😩 Send 💌 to 7️⃣ of the BADDEST 🥵😚 BITCHES you know❗️ if you get 7️⃣ back, you’ll have ALL 3️⃣ colors of the flag ♥️⚪️💙 tonight!!! If you get 4️⃣ back, DADDY is gonna be FEASTIN 🤤 on your coochie 🍪 tonight!! If you get less than 2️⃣ back, your PUSSY 😿 is gonna be drier 🌵 than the ones on the grill 🍗🤷🏻‍♀️

    Pride Month🏳️‍🌈 is Over

      🚨ALERT🚨 🚨ALERT🚨
      
      PRIDE 🏳️‍🌈 MONTH🗓 IS OFFICIALLY OVER❌
      
      MEN ♂️ AND WOMEN ♀️ OF THE NATION🇨🇮🇧🇼🇧🇿🇨🇲🇧🇷🇨🇨🇨🇲🇨🇰🇨🇫🇨🇮🇫🇰🇪🇦🇪🇹🇫🇮🇩🇯🇫🇲🇭🇲🇬🇵🇮🇪🇮🇱🇮🇲🇬🇹🇮🇴🇭🇰🇬🇾🇲🇵🇱🇷🇲🇴🇲🇨🇱🇻🇲🇱🇲🇱🇳🇮🇵🇭🇴🇲🇳🇺🇴🇲🇳🇪🇵🇪🇵🇫🇳🇦🇸🇭🇸🇽🇶🇦🇸🇬🇶🇦🇸🇪🇸🇸🇸🇽🇸🇭:
      
      IT IS NOW ILLEGAL TO BE #GAY 🏳️‍🌈 ANYWHERE ON STRAIGHT📏 MOTHER EARTH 🌎🌐🌍🌏
      
      BISEXUALS MUST HEAD TO YOUR NEAREST GOVERNMENT BUILDING 🎟 AND RECEIVE A "Bi-Ticket Admission Allowance System Check in Mark" TO BE PUT UNDER EXAMINATION 🔍 TO DETERMINE IF YOU ARE TO BE LEFT IN THE GENE POOL. 🤽‍♂️🤽‍♀️
      
      THE 🏳️‍🌈❌GAYSTAPO❌🏳️‍🌈 👮‍♂️👮‍♂️🚔🚔 WILL BE INSPECTING ALL RESIDENTS🏘 OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 🇳🇺🇳🇺🇳🇺 TO SEARCH FOR ANY GAY ACTIVITY
      
      ANY HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVITY CAN WARRANT ARREST🔒👮‍♂️OR POSSIBLE ☠DEATH☠ PENALTY
      
      STAY VIGILANT AND STRAIGHT📏📏❌🏳️‍🌈❌🏳️‍🌈❌🏳️‍🌈❌🏳️‍🌈❌
      pride month is over. All gay people instantly begin to spontaneously combust, trans people begin to morph into various citrus fruits and are sold as novelty items from a different time. Bisexual people are instantly split in half by the invisible blade of corporate disinterest and the non-bianries are legally banned from using the number 0 in any scenario.
      
      The pride flags and corporate twitter profile pictures are instantly detonated to make room for more advertisements, posters promoting diversity and inclusivity are ripped down and destroyed by once-inclusive teachers all across the country. and the price of lube decreases by an average of 76% worldwide.
      
      Pride month is over. Greed month is upon us. May all who savoured their taste of freedom, cower in the face of pure capitalism

      National Hydration Day 💧

        Happy 😃 national🇺🇸 hydration 🫦💧day☀️, you 💦thirsty🌊 sluts🌝!! You staying hydrated? 👅💦 It’s officially 🧑‍⚖️ summer 🔥☀️, and you🫵 look 👀 parched👎🏻🌵! You better🤬 get to drinking🥤, so you can keep those👉 kidneys🫘🚿wet 😏 and healthy 🩺💪🏻. A gallon 🍶 of water 🥵🌊 a day 📆will keep the doctor 👩‍⚕️🩻 away🙅🏻‍♀️🔪!!!!!

        GUYS!!! ♂😐 I 😃 WAS 👍 JUST 👏 DIAGNOSED WITH 🤝👉 ADHD!!

          GUYS!!! ♂😐 I 😃 WAS 👍 JUST 👏 DIAGNOSED WITH 🤝👉 ADHD!! MY 🙋 DOCTOR ⚕ JUST 🍅👏 PERSCRIBED DESOXYN WHICH 🙌❓ IS 😍 METH!!!! 💁 OMG 😍🤣 I AM GOING TO 😣🔢 BE 🐝🐝 RICH AT 🍆 SCHOOL! 🎓🙃 I HATE 😟👿 TAKING MY 🐾 MEDS SO 🏻 I 🏼👇 AM GOING ➡ TO 💦 SELL 💲💲 THEM 👩🙊 AT 🍆💦 SCHOOL!! 🎒😑 ME 💦 AND EVERYONE 💂👯 IN 🚗🏼 MY 👭 CLASS 😛⚠ ARE 😡👏 6 YEARS 💯 OLD 😖 SO WE 👦 ARE 💢 JUST 👮 STUPID 💩💩 LITTLE 😫 KIDS LOL!! I 🏿 WILL 👄💦 SAY 🗣🗣 ITS 🙅👉 CANDY 🍬🍬 AND SELL THEM FOR 🎄 A 🍬 DOLLAR 💵🔜 LOL! 💃 LETS SEE HOW THIS 🏻 GOES 🅱😩 LOL! 😂😂 UPDATE: 💰 LOL GUYS 👬 I 🙋👁 STARTED GRINDING 🏻 THE ⛓💞 PILLS UP ⬆⬆ AND 💨👏 PUTTING 🙌 THEM 👹 IN ⬅ GUMMIES! I 👁 ALREADY 🤢😞 MADE 🍔🍔 100 DOLLARS!! JIMMY 💩 LIKED THE CANDY 🍬 SO MUCH HE 💦 FELL ON 🏽🔛 THE ✈😆 FLOOR AND DIDNT ❌🙅 GET BACK ⬅ UP!! ❤❤ UPDATE: ⬆ GUYS 🏽 I 💰👁 MADE 👆👆 1000 DOLLARS 💰 WITH 👯👦 MY 🙈🤔 METH GUMMIES!! I 💰 JUST 🍆💢 BOUGHT 🎅💲 A 😤👌 NEW 💯 GAME 💻 CONSOLE AND TV 📺 AND 👏😩 SOME 🐓♂ GAMES!!! 🎮 UPDATE!! 💰⬆ GUYS!! GOOD NEWS 🗣💼 AND BAD 👎 NEWS! 📰 BAD 😞👎 NEWS IS 💦 THAT 😧👉 MOMMY 👦 FOUND 😘🕵 OUT 👋🏻 I WAS 🅿👍 SELLING METH AT SCHOOL 🍆🏫 SO 💯 SHE 😍 LOCKED UP ❤ MY 👨 MEDS 💊💊 BUT 🤔 GOOD NEWS 📰💼 IS 👍👉 THAT 😤 SHE SAID 💬🤣 THAT 🙌😧 THE 👈 SFHOOL SAYS 🗣🗣 I 👁👁 AM NOT 👮 ALLOWED 🏼 TO 👮 GO 👀🏃 TO SCHOOL ✂ ANYMORE! 😔💦 BEST 🏆🏼 DAY OF 💦💦 MY ☎🚪 LIFE! 💓

          God bless ⛪👉 America.🇺🇸

            At 👌🕛 2am last 🕛 night 🌜 a 🏃👓 BRITISH person 🗣😡 approached me at the 😜 liberty 👬 bell. I 🙍 immediately 👏 drew ☀💎 my 😲 flintlock pistol. 🔫🔫 Holy shit, what 🙏 the fuck 💦🖕 man, 🌊 the 😂 British person said 🗣 britishly. Luckily my militia was 🤣 waiting nearby. Tallyho lads, 👍 they 🔥 yelled, 🗣😡 and charged 🍆🍆 the 💦😠 Brit with bayonets drawn, as 💦 the 👉 founding fathers intended. Later 🕑 that 🚟🙎 day 🌞☀ I 😲 went 👏 to school 📚😑 and 👏👏 was 👀 only 🤠 shot 🔫🔫 2 times. God bless ⛪👉 America.🇺🇸