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Emojipasta

A block of text that has been “emojified” meaning that it now contains an absurd number of emojis in them. An attempt to ridicule the use of emojis in text.


Cocktic Christmas

    Hey there you pewbic preachers 🥵 🤲 🤤 🙏 ⛪️ 👅 you cross bearing cocksuckers ✝️ 🥴 ✊🏻 🍆 💦 💦 ⛪️ you kinky clergymen 🤵🏻+ 👩🏽 = ✝️💦 🛌 😏 it’s time to get nailed 🔨 💨 😩 🥵 railed 👨🏻+ 👨🏻 + 👩🏽 = 🚂 😓 and impaled 👉🏻 👌🏻 😉 ♾️ like the hoely spirit 👻 & 💁🏻‍♀️ + 💁🏻‍♀️ = ✂️ 🍑 😋 this year 📅 because it’s Cocktic Christmas 🎅🏾 ✊🏻 🥖 💦 🤶🏼 🦌 🦌 🎄 🌲 🧝 So if you’re down to copt a feel 👋🏻 🍑 & 🍒 👁️🫦👁️during cuntfession 🦵🏻♦️🦵🏻 🖐️ 🐸 🖐️👅👅👅 🦵🏻🪰🦵🏻 then seek those naughty nuns 👩🏽 💁🏻‍♀️ ✂️ 🚿 🥵 that’ll repent 🙏 and bent 👋🏻👁️👅👁️🖖🏻all down the chimney 🪵 🌲 💨 🔥 🤤 It’s been a cold 🥶 🧊 and wet 💦 🌊 winter ❄️ so far, but as the floods ⛰️ 🌊 ☠️ come, it’s time to embark 🤠 👋🏻 🍑 on the ark 🛶 💦 😈 and ride 🐎 that wooden winter splinter 🎅🏾 🌲 💨 😮‍💨😮‍💨all queefinox long 🌞 🌚 🌝 = 🛌🔞🔞 🤫 Hoepefully you can leave a nudge smudge 🥕 🍒 💦 👄 before heavenly daddy 👨🏻 🥵 judge thee to seven minutes ⌛️ in hoely heaven. 👯‍♀️👯‍♀️ 🏝️ 😌 Don’t forget to dickorate 🍆 🫦 😏 the tree 🌲 🪵 🐿️ 🥜 🍼 💦 🥛 so that you can savor that sweet spruce juice 🪵 🥛 🤤 until you get to scratch an itch from Ms. Claws 😜 👅 🦵🏻 🦞 🦵🏻 🌚Send this to 10 pussyhound priests ✝️ 👦🏻 👨🏻 👉🏻 👌🏻 ⛪️🔞🔞to get your crucifix baptized✝️🍼💦💦🤤Or else, the only thing nailed 🔨 🥊 🦵🏻 🐠 🦵🏻 🤢 will have been from 2023 years ago 👼 ☁️ ☀️ ✝️🧖🏻‍♂️

    Today 🗓️ the new ✅ COCKgress 🍆👨‍⚖️ is being sworn in

      Pull up‼️ 2️⃣ the Capitol (but not like an insERECTION 🔥🇺🇸) because today 🗓️ the new ✅ COCKgress 🍆👨‍⚖️ is being sworn in 🤭 say goodbye to NERVOUS NANCY 😎❤️ and COCKsy voting 🤧😷🤒 and hello to “my Kevin” (if the FREEDOM 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 COCKUS lets him win 😂😳) on the 69th ballot 👌🏼☠️ CUM watch the freshmen👨🏻‍🍼👶 defend the COCKSDICKTUTION 🙈😈 and faithfully DISCHARGE 💦💦💦 the duties 💩 of their office 😮‍💨🫡 send this to 6️⃣0️⃣ people or else your 🕳️ will be FILLibustered 🤧🤢 send to 2️⃣1️⃣8️⃣ people or else you won’t meat 🍆 qWHOREum 😜 if you get 5️⃣3️⃣5️⃣ back then your ass 🍑🌚 is in the union 🫦 but if you get 0️⃣ back then you’re an UNPAID INTERN 🤮😧😩

      IT’S 🍑ASSUARY🍑 2ND!

        ⚠️⚠️HEY YOU BEAUTIFUL SLUT 😍😍 KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS⁉️🤔 IT’S 🍑ASSUARY🍑 2ND! New Year's Day finally💦💦 CAME 💦💦 and WENT🏃‍♂️😢, BUTT 🍑 it's UP⬆️ to YOU 🫣🫵 and I 🧍‍♂️to 🎊 POP 🎊 OFF 😩💦and follow through with our 🎉🍾NEW YEARS🍾🎉RESOLUTIONS ✅✅ this TWENTY HORNY-THREE 🥵👉👌. Let’s take the first steps 👣👣👀 towards ➡️ achieving 🏅our DREAMS 🤤 and beCUM 😫💦 our BEST 🥇 selves 💅. Whether we want to eat 🤭💅 healthier🍎, exercise 🏋️‍♂️🤸‍♀️💦 more, learn 🤓📚, get plowed 🛻☃️by more dick 🍆🍆😩, now ⏰ is the time ⏳to start 🎬😳 working 💪 towards our goals. This is a 🚨REMINDER🚨 for your 💦CUM-filled 💦 BRAIN 🧠 that you CAN 🥫 do it and will have a great 😝2️⃣😍0️⃣🥵2️⃣😫3️⃣🍆💦💦! YOU 🫵 got this! SHARE 💌 THIS WITH 6️⃣9️⃣ OF YOUR HOES TO SPREAD 🦵🦵⭐️✨POSITIVY⭐️✨ AND 🥵MOTIVATION🥵. Here’s to an amazing 🤩 year 🥳 FILLED💦🥵 with DICK 🍆🍆 and endless possibilities 😝😝

        New Year 2023

          💥🎆 F🅰️PPY NEW YEAR🎇🎊🎉 my beloved SLORE‼️👯😘 2022 was Long and Hard 🍆✊😔 We Laughed 😂💯🔥 We Cried 🥲😢😭 We Coughed… 😫💨🦠😷🤧 This year 📆 the sequel 🤩💃 to COVAGINA-69 🦠 dropped (called omiCROTCH)… 😷😳🌮😩 The eCOCKnomy 🤑 got really INFLATED (kinky)… 😳🎈😼 and Queef Elizabussy 👸🍑 Death Dropped 🤸🤪👏 right outta SUCKINGHAM 🔥 PALACE (OKURRRR)‼️ 🏰💂 Butt DICKcember 🍆⛄️❄️🎅 is OVER‼️ Twenty-CUNTY-Three 2️⃣🅾️2️⃣3️⃣ 🗓🎉💥 has 💦⬇️ C U M 🎉🎊⬇️😁 and its time ⏰ 2 commit 👊 some Auld Lang SIN‼️ 🎼😈👹😜🤑 Get out the Party P🅾️ppers ❣️😼🎉 cuz at the stroke 🍆✊😩 of twelve o’C🅾️CK 🌚🕰 BALLS ⚪️⚫️✨ r gonna DROP ⬇️🤸‍♂️😏 chamPUSSY 🍾🍑 is gonna POP 💥🔥😫 and CUMfetti 🍆🎊🎉 is gonna RAIN 💦💦 all over u!!! 💦🤤😋🎉🎊 If u send this 💌 to 2️⃣3️⃣ beloved New Year Hoes 🥰👯😉 Daddy New Year 👨🏻😻😘👨‍👦will give u his special Fireworks Show 😳😜🍆💥🎇🎆😁😋😁😋😁😋 But if u DONT…. 😰 Ur gonna get a Happy New YEAST INFECTION 🤢🍄🍑🤮👎
          💥🎆 FAPPY NEW YEAR!🎊🎉 Twenty-CUNTY-Three 🗓🎉💥 has C U M 🎉🎊⬇️😁 and its time ⏰ 2 commit 👊 sum Auld Lang SIN‼️ 🎼😈😜 Get out the Party Poppers ❣️😼🎉 cuz @ 12 o’C🅾️CK 🌚🕰 Balls ⚪️⚫️✨ r gonna DROP ⬇️🤸‍♂️😏 chamPUSSY 🍾🍑 is gonna POP 💥🔥😫and CUMfetti🎉 is gonna RAIN 💦💦
          DICKCEMBER 🍆🍆❄️❄️ is nearly OVER 😢😢…. but the NEW YEAR 🎉💥 has almost 💦💦CUM💦💦 and you know 😍 what that means 😏😏.. its time for 😏😏😏👅 NEW 🍆COCKS🍆 for TWENTY HORNY-THREE😍👉👌 all of the 🍑THOTS🍑🍑😋🙋 are making it their 🎉NEW YEARS🎉 RESOLUTION to find 👅BIG DICKS👅 to EXPLODE 💥💥💥💥 some💥💥FIREWORKS💦💦 .. and some 🎊BALLS🎊 to drop 😉😉 in their ASS 🍑🍑 💥💥 be prepared to get 🍆🍑FUCKED😩😩 at MIDNIGHT 😆🌜🌙 on NEW COCKS 🍆EVE when 🍑🍑ASSUARY 1🍑💦💦 cums💦💦 around🍆🍆👅 SHARE THIS WITH 🎉6⃣9⃣ NEW YEAR HOES😉 BEFORE 😩🍑 2⃣💦0⃣💦2️⃣💦3️⃣or you won’t be getting any 🎉party poppers 🎉 popped 💥 inside u this 🎊🎊🍆🍆NEW DICKS DAY🍆🍆🎊🎊
          3..2…1….. 👅🎉🎊NEW YEAR NEW DICK!!👅🎉🎊Happy New Year you 😈FESTIVE FUCKSLUTS! 😈Get ready to POP THAT PUSSY 😩👄after the CHAMPAGNE! 🍾🍾🍾🥂🥂🥂CONFETTI🎊 ISNT THE ONLY THING RAINING DOWN TONIGHT! 😏💦💦Get ready for BUCKETS OF CUM,💦💦💦lots OF BIG DADDY DICKS, 🍆🍆and JUICY COOCHIES. 😩👅The only place you’ll be sitting tonight is on THIS FAT DICK! 😈😈Send this to 10 of your Naughty New Year bitches 👩🏻‍🎤👩🏼or 2023 will be dry and dickless 🙈🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪
          👅HAPPY NEW YEARS SLUTS 🍆
          
          👯hey SlutS! 👯💅 Now that we got our yearly 🎁 FUCK 👊🏼from good ole Saint DICK 🎅🏾 it’s FINALLY New Years Eve!!!🗓🍾👅 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣2️⃣ was a LONGG 🍆🍆 and HARD 😉✊🏻😫 year.... we laughed😂😆👌🏼 We cried 😢😖👎 We coughed 💦🤒🤧 we fucked GOOD👍🏻 dick🍆 and 😵😵BAD 😔 dick, 😫 BUTT 🍑 now let’s 👏👏Celebrate 🙌🎉 and watch that 💦🍆BIG 👅 BALL 😎👌🏼 Drop 👄👄 on us! 💃💃 So spread 👐🏽 those 👐🏽 legs 👐🏽 and count down ⬇️ from 🔟 until your man 💪🏾 pops 🎉 his CORK 🍾🍾 into that thirsty 👅thirsty 👅 hole! 🥰🥰 Send this to 2️⃣3️⃣ COCK-BEGGING ✊🏻🍆 WHORES to get BUTTFUCKED 🍑😱 for the next 3️⃣6️⃣5️⃣ Happy 🥳 New 🥳 REAR 🍑 SLUTS 🍾 Yes ✅ you heard 🦻🏻 me right, it’s time ⏰ to book ✍🏻 that BBL 💃🏻 and get that ass 🍑 🅱️ 🅱️ 🅱️lown the fuck up 🕺🏽 and 🅱️lown the fuck out 💦 It’s officially 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣3️⃣and you know what that means 2️⃣3️⃣boys 👦👦 to blow 💦💦 2️⃣3️⃣haters 💩💩 to keep mad 👺👺 2️⃣3️⃣sugar 🍭🍭 daddies 👨‍👧👨‍👧to fuck and 2️⃣3️⃣crimes ☠️☠️ to commit 👩🏻‍⚖️👩🏻‍⚖️ 🎇fireworks 🎆 won’t ❌ be the only 1️⃣ thing exploding 💥💥💥 tonight so cover 😷 your eyes 🙈🙈 and open 🙉🙉 your mouth 🐵 👄because we’re 🎬 starting this 2️⃣3️⃣year with a 🎊🎊🎊 bang 💣💣💣 so send 📩📩 this to 2️⃣3️⃣of your sexiest 👅👅 little cum 🌊🌊guzzling 😋😋 felons 💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️ and if you get 2️⃣3️⃣back the 🥶🥶 snow ❄️❄️ fairy 🧚🏻‍♀️🧚🏻‍♀️ will bless 🙏🏻🙏🏻 your bag 👛👛 if you get 1️⃣1️⃣ back, you’ll get away 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ with that 🚗🚗 hit and run ⚰️⚰️ but if you get 0️⃣ back, I’ll 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️personally 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️ murder 🔪🔪 you ‼️‼️ now 👏🏻👏🏻 drop 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️ those 🏀🏀 balls ⚽️⚽️ in your 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ mouth 👄👄 and 🤱🏻🤱🏻 guzzle 😝😝 them 👯‍♀️👯‍♀️ like 🥂🥂champagne 🍾🍾days 😍😍😍
          SLAPPY 👋💫 NUDE 😳😝 YEAR EVE 🙈❗❗❗. I'm not 🙅‍♀️❌ in Times Square🍎🏙 but I can DROP⬇️ 👇some BALLS 🍒👄❗❗. When the ClOCK⏰🍆 STR0KES 😏 MIDnight😴😫❓❓👀 Confetti🎉🎊 wont ❌ be the only thing 🤔😓BLASTING 💦💥onto BYSTANDERS 👅🚨❗ RING 💍💎 in twenty thotty-three 💯with a gangBANG 🔞🆒️❗❗

          THE JOKE IS SEX!

            get it 😍😍 the joke is that 🤯🤯🤯🤯 the woman is about to lift her shirt🤯🤯😰😼😼😼😼 but the video 📼📼📼 cuts ✂️✂️✂️to something else,2,2,2,1,?1?1!1!1!1!1😅😅😅😅😅😅😅the joke, is sex!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😼😼😼😼😼😼 i cant believe op trolled🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌me like that!1!1!1 i literally had my dick 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦💦in my hand ✊✊✊✊✊✊what a silly goober‼️❗️‼️❗️‼️❗️‼️‼️‼️‼️❕‼️❕‼️‼️‼️‼️❗️❗️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥❗️‼️❗️❗️‼️‼️‼️🇧🇩🇧🇩🇧🇩💥

            Dickmas is finally here!

              Hey there you raw-dogging reindeer 🦌 🦌 🍆 💦 💦 😋 you egregious elves 🧝🏼+🧝🏽‍♀️= 🏕 🔞🌚you nefarious naughty listers 👨🏻 ✊🏼 🥖 💦 📝 it’s time to pop the cherry 🍒🚫 🤷🏻‍♀️ in Virgin Mary 🔑🦵🏼🔒🦵🏼 and take a hoe 💁🏽‍♀️ under the missletoe 🍃 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨💦 🔞because it’s finally DICKmas!!! 🎄🎄💦💦💦 🎅🏻 So if you’re down for some foreplay in the sleigh 🛷 🥴 ✊🏼 🥖 💨 👵🏻 and wanna get whimsy 😏 inside the chimney 🪵 🔥 🥵 😉 👌🏼 then stop the shopping 🛒 🛍 and give your girl a cocking 🍆 🍆 💦 🤤 in her lady stocking 🥖 💦 🧦 so that you roast 🔥 those chestnuts 🌰 🌰 🐿 💦 🥛 in her all night long 😩 🦵🏼♦️🦵🏼 Ever since Mary 👧 and HOEseph 👦🏻 brought that baby outta the barn 👶🏼 🍼 💦 ✝️ this whole world 🌎 has gotten freaky 👉🏻 👌🏼 ♾ 😏 and frisky 🥵 💦 🛀🏼 to satisfy their significunt others 👨🏻 + 👩🏽 + 🍆💦💦 🍑 = 🤰🏽🤤🤤Hoepfully you’ve shaved and behaved 🪒 🧼 👨🏻‍🦲 🍆 😉 , so you can take off that ugly sweater 🚫🧥 🥖 💦 ✋🏻 😳 ✋🏻 and make her drool 🤤 🤤 on a spool 🧵 of your man wool 🐑 🐑 💨 🖖🏼👁👅👁🖖🏼for the 25 days of FISTmas 👊🏼 👁👄👁👊🏼 If that option doesn’t suit her “ute” 🖐🐸 🤚👅👅👅👅🦵🏼♦️🦵🏼 then fertilize another egg 🥚 🍼 💦 = 👶🏼 so you can snog 💋 on the nog 🥛 😵 ⚡️ while keeping a fist list ✊🏼 🖊 💦 📝 of all the naughty thotties 👯‍♀️👯‍♀️in Santa’s twerkshop 🍆 💦 💦 🍑 So ditch the secret Santa 🎅🏻 🎅🏻 🍆 💦 🦌 😳 and white elephant 🐘 unless you’re giving her some trunk spunk 😏 👏🏻 🦴 💦 💦 🤤 and go out in the mist 🌫 🌧💆🏻‍♀️to get put on the naughty list 🙋🏻‍♂️🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️Send this to 10 slutty Santa’s helpers 👨🏻 🥖 💦 💦 💁🏽‍♀️ 🎄 so you can give her a rimmy 👅 🍑 in the chimney ⛺️ 🛌🔞 😏 or else, the only Candy cane getting licked 👅 🦵🏼♦️🦵🏼😩 will be in the candy shop 🍭 😜 🦌 🦌 🛷 💦 💦 🎅🏻 🎄