So I was listening to my favorite boy band called 'BTS (I am an army)' on my Samsung earbuds (BTS Edition) using my Samsung Galaxy s20+ (BTS Edition) in my room plastered with BTS poster.
Suddenly one of my Army friends (we are BTSSexual and BTSGender) told me that there is a McDonald's BTS meal which almost made me jizz my pants. I ran to McDonald's to buy the BTS meal and came back home. Even though I am an Army (I would have bought their feces if they were selling it), this is intolerable. That was the most uncreative meal ever created.
I wish McDonald's would have put Ass-Hair of each members of the band and hidden it in Chicken McNuggets. Like "Hey! I got Jimins Ass-hair in my chicken nuggets! Can't wait to get Kim Teahyung's Ass-hair so I can take his DNA sample and recreate a clone of Kim Teahyung to overrule the world with #Army".
bts #army #blm #gaypride #arianagrande
firstly minecraft steve is sexy as fuck why are you not attracted to him, secondly it's spelt "miner" dumbass
people are also calling me gay as well even though they would probably also let steve fuck them
edit: edited the post
Guys I'm literally fucking shaking. Sonic has never taken off his shoes in 28 years, that means his feet must smell incredible 😍😍
Imagine 28 years of his in those shoes. My mouth is watering...I just can't handle 😍
Ya'll ever think about this? Moid suicide is just a scrote's final, desperate attempt to lash out against women. When you actually break it down, who suffers most when a scrote kills themselves? It's gonna be the women in their lives who end up performing EXTENSIVE emotional labour for those affected, especially since moids aren't capable of processing grief themselves (men are actually lacking in emotional range to experience complex emotions such as grief but let's just call what they feel "grief" to save time ☠️). At BEST suicidal moids are not considering the workload their suicide will bring to the women in their life, which...is.....MISOGYNY 😡😡😡
The motivation for male suicide (scroticide) is also inherently misogynistic. First of all you're a moid living under patriarchy, so...like...why are you complaining?? Why are you pretending that your life is hard? Women are living under constant fear of being raped and murdered DAILY but you want people to care about your problems? What problems? Dying in super mario?? Sis, I can't... 🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️
As we all know, the only thing a scrote requires to be happy in life is sex. So when a scrote is depressed, it's because they aren't able to use women's bodies to get off....YA'LL THEY ARE LITERALLY KILLING THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY FEEL ENTITLED TO OUR BODIES 🤣🤣
Ya'll, I am tired. I am tired of playing unpaid therapist for these useless scrotes who think they're entitled to me - to my body, to my energy, to my soul. From now on, I point blank refuse to feel sorry for any moid who kills themselves, and I encourage ya'll to do the same. Put yourself first 🤷🏾♀️
And to the scrotes are who are gonna read this and tell me I'm a bitch, or a c*nt, or whatever other incel slur you feel like throwing at me - I don't care. Because I'm tired of playing mommy for you. 💅🏿
Step 1: We must first find an octopus
Due to octopuses being sea creatures, I suggest you do this in sea. I don't suggest trying places like aquariums and zoos, both because I'm agains doing this job with money and there is no need to get beaten up.
Step 2: Understand the gende of the octopus.
I must state that although I'm homophobic in the topic of humans, I don't discriminate in octopuses. If it can perform osmosis, that's well enough in my books. However due to female octopuses possesing limbs more suited for sex, I am basing this guide on them. To understand the gender of the octopus we first throw a dead female mouse. If it runs away it's a female, but if it tries to eat it by difusion it is a male.
Step 3: Setting the mood
Because that octopuses aren't fond of sex as humans are, convincing them may take some time. My suggestion is to make little surprises to her. for example, take them to the Bosphorus to eat baby jellyfishes. But make sure that she doesn't take any alcahool as octopuses can dissolve in water. It's not worth to lose your one and only octopus.
Step 4: We do the foreplay
Now the octopus is on your bed, but foreplay is as important in octopuses as in humans; so we need to do some foreplay tricks. the best way is to lick the octopus's legs; but one has to be careful in this process as the octopus may think that you are trying to eat her and choke your neck. another way is to go in between her eyes. this is also known al "american octofap"
Step 5: We fuck the octopus
after the foreplay the octopus is right in the mood. now it's time to unite. the biggest upside of octopuses over human girls is them not having reactions like "ah no not there", because you can do it there. you can do it everywhere. since their bodies are in the molluscs class, where you thrust is their pussy. Also, it doesn't posses a threat to cum inside and not use a condom.
and that's it guys. I hope it was helpful. For anyone seeking proof, this is a guide that I made with my experience.
Step 1: Go to his office
Step 2: distract him
Step 3: Put a fish on his desk
Step 4: He'll laugh at it and say "Who put this fish on my desk"
Step 5: Break his kneecaps
