Skip to content

Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.

Sex is hard to do in the matrix

    Matrix: resurrections plot just got leaked
    Sex is hard to do in the matrix. Imagine this, you’re having sex with yo girl and then an Agent possesses her AS YOU FUCK HER. It’s only okay if you’re gay OR yo girl got possessed by Agent Pace, who’s also a girl but jokes on you! You don’t know Italian. There’s also this chance: Yo girl tells you she got a new fuckbuddy. It’s Agent Smith. She’s fucking a guy a decade or 2 older than her. Why? You decide to sneak up on them having sex and you sneak a camera into the room. He is grabbing yo girl’s boobs. There is black goo everywhere. She turns into a clone of him. Yo girl has been killed by her new fuckbuddy. You will never get good pussy again

    Wine with a side of pussy.

      ℑ𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔠𝔲𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔢
      Pussy can have many flavors. From sweet and subtle, to tangy and strong. I never recommend eating whilst eating out, but for beverage pairings I would go with a lighter rosè for milder pussy. The bubbles will make the sweeter notes of berry and last night’s Tinder-Date pop. For a more refined pussy eating experience, I recommend a brut like Dom P or Pierre Jouet. But don’t pour it directly on the snatch, give the muff a good dive before you swirl your quaff.
      For more pronounced pussy flavors of rich yellowtail tuna and farmhouse hay, I recommend bourbon and a fuck ton of it. Because if her pussy smells like a combo of skipjack & farmhouse hay you’re going to want hard liquor.

      If you think about it, squidward would be a very efficient gay prostitute.

        Squidward couldve been a top 0.1% on onlyfans
        Where to fuckin begin? 8 arms. 8 dicks. Same time. Not persuaded? He also has a mouth. The guy can work 9 men at the same time. 8 20$ handjobs plus the one Guy getting a 50$ blowjob earns him 210$ in one session. But we’re not even done yet. 100$ to get butt fucked by a 10th guy, that’s 310$ in one session! Dick shaped nose goes up a guys ass, another 10$ there, actual dick goes up a guys ass, an easy 25$. And considering most men cum in under 5 minutes? He could have SO many of these orgies a day. He can basically earn as much as he wants to. Shit, he has countless suction cups on his tentacles. Put those babies on some nipples 5$ a minute? Man. Squidward my Guy, if you were smarter you could afford to move yourself way the fuck away from spongebob. Now that I think about it, you know how many holes spongebob has?? Need I say more?? Imagine squidward and spongebob teaming up, they could fuck SO. MANY. DUDES. I’m talking a million dollar gay prostitution EMPIRE. And with how absorbent spongebob is? Pshh. Talk about bukkake king. Use your fucking head squidward.

        Lightning McQueen is a statutory rapist

          The age of consent for cars is "As soon as they come off the lot".
          Epic Film Fact: Lightning McQueen, star of the 2006 blockbuster film "Cars" is a statutory rapist. In the film Lightning meets and falls in love with a car named Sally Carrera, a 2002 Porsche 911. This makes Sally only 4 years old during the film (which takes place in 2006). Lightning on the other hand is a stock car and while his age isn't expressly given, we know that an average stock car can race for 20 to 30 years. Because lightning is the best we can assume that he is 30 years old at the end of "Cars 3", which takes place in 2017, 11 years after "Cars". This would make Lightning 19 years old when he meets Sally. As the majority of the films take place in the United States, which has the age of consent set at 17 years old, every time Lightning sticks his engine shaft in Sally's exhaust pipe he is committing statutory rape.

          Broken legal system of the Cars universe

            Lighting may have a serious lawsuit on his hands.
            Can we talk about the broken legal system of the Cars universe? In the film, Lightning McQueen is speeding down route 66 when a cop car starts chasing him. Just as he's about to pull over, the cop car starts blowing gaskets. Lightning assumes this is gunfire and freaks out, resulting in him accidentally destroying the town. Lighting was under the impression that he was being fired upon unprovoked, giving him a valid legal argument for his reckless driving. The next day, Mater is assigned to defend him in trial, despite Lightning making it clear that he has his own attorney. He isn't even given a phone call, or a chance to pay bail, the trial takes place the very next day. Of course Mater blows the trial because he's a dumbass, leaving Lightning stranded in this town before the biggest race of his life. Hell, they wouldn't even let him make contact with the outside world, leading to everybody thinking he's missing. Lighting may have a serious lawsuit on his hands.

            I want to bang the Animal Crossing Dog

              Isabelle is a fictional character from the game "Animal Crossing".
              Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the animal crossing dog so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the town hall I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Isabelle. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Isabelle's tight dog pussy. I want her to have my mutant human/dog babies.
              
              Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with the neighbors dog. I'd dressed her in my sister's skirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my 3DS. I might not ever get to see Isabelle again.