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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.

hey cutie! * attempts to hide my tail and wings and massive gigantic horse wolf cock

    hey cutie! * attempts to hide my tail and wings and massive gigantic horse wolf cock * s-so...h-how's your day? * sweats * hehe.. so-so.. i was wondering.. when you were gonna get out of school for christmas haha.. so we could,, * gulp * h-hang out... haha.. Y-YOU don't gotta!!
    Hey cutie! >w< *attempts to hide my tail and wings and massive gigantic alpha horse wolf cock*. s-so...h-how's your day? *sweats* hehe..:3 so-so.. I was wondering..When you were free so we could uhm, *gulp* h-hang out.. haha.. Y-YOU don't gotta!! It's ok!! I'll just.. s-stay lonely forever hah.. *eye shine cutely as I purr* hey- uhm- I know this is suddenly but- *grabs your hand and kisses it* wanna-wanna be my gf? *smiles* a-actually never mind.. you'll.. probably reject me.. I'll be so lonely.. *my orbs water as I look at you, tears coming down my face intensely* I hope you'll be happy forever onnichan... maybe one day you will love me.. >~< TWT

    Lung, was a terribly repressed homosexual

      Lung from Parahumans

      By u/Rodoran, its an unhinged shower-thought comment on Lung from Parahumans being gay and is a power bottom.

      Lung, was a terribly repressed homosexual. He wanted desperately to be a power bottom, but every time he met a sexual rival, he would turn into a dragon, and thus suddenly become a top.

His closest sexual encounter was during the fight in Japan, vs the Endbringer Leviathan. Unfortunately, every time he was about to be 'taken', he would strengthen further. First came the second set of limbs, then wings, then his scales hardened to a degree that even legends lasers couldn't penetrate.

Sadly, if Lung knew better, he would have absolutely let Legend penetrate him. He was however, a bit busy due to the giant Endbringer, so he wasn't able to satisfy his sexual urges.

The stories tell of Kyushu and how it sank that day, but the stories often tell a lie. The heroes don't want the truth to get out, and almost every villain attending died or drowned in the chaos that followed.

Cauldron(who you don't know, and have never heard of, if you god damn know what's good for you), made sure the story was about the heroic growing dragon man, fighting the terrifying water Godzilla, both going at each other until the island sank.

The truth was, though, after being spanked for 8 straight minutes, Lung's errection was large and powerful enough to completely crush the island. Thousands of heroes(including independents and villains, because everyone is a hero during an Endbringer battle) died due to his massive, draconic throbbing cock, which tore the land asunder.

The reason Lung was allowed to leave, and eventually settle in Brocton Bay had nothing to do with his perceived power, it was simply down to a moment after the battle where Alexandria side eyed both Legend and Eidolon, and whispered "holy shit, dibs"

And this, the legend of Lung became something told to children everywhere, how he was feared, and not someone to fight. Parents, of course, ones who knew the true story, did not tell their kids.

Because of this information failure, one night in the middle of 2011, a teenage girl who hadn't picked a name yet, would unintentionally challenge the dragon, and she would, also unintentionally rot off the world's largest penis. This would have reprocusions that would last until the battle with Scion himself, but that's a story for another time....

      Contrary to popular belief, Vaporeon was never compatible for breeding with humans at all

        Vaporeon was never compatible for breeding with humans

        Its a response towards the infamous Vaporeon copypasta by fact checking Vaporeon’s capabilities to manipulate water. 

        Vaporeon was NEVER compatible for breeding with humans at all! Firstly, they are not even in the Human-Like egg group, and most of them are male anyway. Since the 4chan post warped the facts about Vaporeon's biology, I will now clarify this matter. Hydration only works in the rain, and Water Absorb, which has a more dangerous ability that I'll elaborate more on soon, doesn't mean your Vaporeon will turn white after you pull out. I know this because I cleaned sperm bank toilets long ago. Their eel-like skin makes it impossible to grope them too. Also, what the 4chan post failed to mention is that Vaporeon can control water telepathically, meaning it can create Kyogre-like tsunamis at will, and, thanks to moves like Scald, Hydro Pump, Ice Beam, and Hyper Beam, Vaporeon has many more ways to unalive you. It can also learn Detect and Toxic too, so don't explore that "deep sea cave" for "treasure." Vaporeon can also force the very same water it can control to enter a person's orifice until they explode, as well as being able to enter any human orifice, just like the candiru fish, with it eventually reaching any vital organs in the human body and ensuring those organs rupture thanks to its water-based biology. This allows the Vaporeon to exit the newly created corpse easily. Now here is the ghastly truth about Water Absorb: since humans are 65% water, if a Vaporeon was inside a human body, it could absorb the water until the human was nothing more than a withered corpse. Oh, and here's a fun fact: if a Vaporeon rematerialized while it was inside your urethra, your wiener would instantly explode. As for the moves that Vaporeon can use to make itself horny, the thing is that the rest of Vaporeon's kin can learn those moves too, with Leafeon, Glaceon, and Umbreon (who has more results on Rule 34 and e621 than Vaporeon) having higher defense stats that would blow Vaporeon out of the water any day of the week. Acid Armor won't even change that.

        Old version

        Contrary to popular belief, Vaporeon was never compatible for breeding with humans at all. Far from it. For starters, most of them are male, 87.5% male to be exact, and they're not even in the Human-Like egg group anyway. Not only that, but the copypasta diluted the truth about Vaporeon's abilities, hence why I will now set the record straight. Hydration only works when it's raining and Water Absorb, which has a darker nature that I will get to talk about soon, doesn't mean your Vaporeon will turn white after you "pull out." I know this because I cleaned sperm bank toilets a long time ago. Also, what wasn't mentioned is that Vaporeon can control water easily, meaning that Vaporeon can perfectly utilize the water it can control to enter a person's orifices until they explode. Vaporeon’s biology allows it to defeat its opponent by entering any human orifice effortlessly, like the candiru fish, with it eventually making its way to the human's lungs until the human succumbed to dry drowning or have those very same lungs rupture, letting the Vaporeon exit the newly created cadaver easily. Now here is the disturbing truth about Water Absorb. Since human bodies are 65% water, a Vaporeon that's inside a human body could potentially absorb the water in said body until the poor human was nothing more than a shriveled corpse. Also, if a Vaporeon rematerialized while it was inside your urethra, your penis would be sent to the Distortion World instantly. Its ability to control water also includes creating Kyogre-like tsunamis that can level cities easily, and with moves like Scald, Hydro Pump, Ice Beam, Hyper Beam, and Body Slam, Vaporeon has so many ways to end you that it should be reclassified to the "Assassin Pokémon." It can also learn Detect and Toxic too, so don't explore that "deep sea cave" for "treasure." As for the moves that it can use to make itself more "horny," the thing is that the rest of Vaporeon's kin can also learn those moves too, with Leafeon, Glaceon, and Umbreon having higher defense stats that would blow Vaporeon out of the water any day of the week. Acid Armor won't even change that. Also, the NSFW crowd loves Umbreon and Sylveon more than Vaporeon.

        Well well well. It appears you are a fellow vappy fucc connoisseur.

          Started as a cursed comment responding to the original Vaporeon copypasta which became a copypasta in itself.

          Well well well. It appears [NAME] is a fellow vappy fucc connoisseur. However screw the female version. You get those same ol two holes in literally everything else. the MALE vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery diccs they have full mobility control with like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach, get each other aroused, and have the fucc of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you. Its ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a vappy dicc was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dicc. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger, and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve. Giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though. Due to having a thicc, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dicc point backwards (takes some training) YOU CAN BE FUCKED, WHILE ALSO FUCKING YOUR VAPPY AT THE SAME TIME!!! ME-OWTH, THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT!!! BUT! BUT! BUT! THERE'S STILL FUCKING MORE!!!!!! Like, holy shit male vaps are the GODS of fucc. While you're fuccing your male vappy, possibly while also being fucced by him, their booty is ON their tail, at the base, which is the thiccest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are, meaning, while your dicc is in there, IT'S BEING FUCKING MASSAGED BETTER THAN EVEN A VAG COULD ACHIEVE!!! AGH! It should be fucking ILLEGAL how amazing male vaps are for fucc! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fuccer like me. That's right. THERE'S. EVEN. FUCKING. MORRRRRRE!!! Say you like to be a little restrained, You don't need a sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic, or leafeon's vines. vappies got that shit covered too! DID YOU EVEN SEE THAT TAIL?!? It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a vappy. it's basically their main part about them. But if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible irl? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. IT JUST BECAME POSSIBLE! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type, but who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption, eventually they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure QnQ they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body. Making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fucc the respect it deserves. Umbreons may bwee my favorite, but, damn. vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.

          Better formatting and proof-read

          Well, well, well. It appears that [insert the person that posts the Vaporeon copypasta] is a fellow Vappy fuck connoisseur. However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show.

Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control with like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy.

And hat's only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond.

There's still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Me-owth, that's fucking right!

But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck!

Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. F*cking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing.

Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past!

I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons may be my favorite. But, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.

          2022 version

          Well, well, well. It appears that [insert user who used the copypasta] is a fellow Vappy fuck connoisseur. However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. 

Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control with like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishiness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. 

And that's only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core and beyond. 

There's still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Me-owth, that's fucking right! 

But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! 

Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. F\*cking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a nonsexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippiness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. 

Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL, such as soft vore? Well, guess fucking what? It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure 😭, they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! 

I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons may be my favorite. But, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.

          Umbreon Copypasta

            Umbreon copypasta

            The Umbreon copypasta is a response towards the Vaporeon copypasta.

            Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
            Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans?

This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon.

Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing.

Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon.

Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight.

Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more).

Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon will throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good.

Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance.

Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over.

Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood.

Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to use attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate.

Umbreon still has even more great moves that's good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration.

Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course.

All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.

            If i was a girl, i would get pregnant as many times as possible

              Its a very old cursed 4chan copypasta from ~2007 that got copy pasted around forums before social media was a thing.

              If i was a girl, i would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so i would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and i would do it until i? had so many that the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses, then i would have a kid and when they're bad i would make them sit in the fetus room.