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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.


Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

    Harry Potter if everyone used guns

    Its a classic 2010 copypasta created by u/Whind_Soull on r/guns that gives a hypothetical scenario where the Wizarding World of Harry Potter would be different if everyone used guns instead of wands.

    Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol’ American hot lead. Basilisk? Let’s see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren’t looking at it—you’re looking at a picture of it.
    
    Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it’s because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons.
    
    Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you’re going to say: “But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!” Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
    
    Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don’t think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort’s wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry’s would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let’s see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can’t be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
    
    “Well then I guess it’s a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1.” And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.

    h-hewwo…owunce of weed pwease >///<

      h-hewwo...owunce of weed pwease >///< arigato... dealer-kun puts weedie-chan in bong and inhales waaah!! (╯✧▽✧)╯ daisuki cannabis desu~! (^ ω ^ )uwaaa! weedie-chan i feel so kimochi!!(〃°ω°〃) hehe~ ur deep inside me now x3 o-o-owo swenpai pweasey weasy cwan i bwe punished? (•ω•) pwease sway wes im hworny ;3 i want-want ywou to gwo h-hard and f-f-f-f-f-fast....ah~ >/////< oh sweet mwother owf onii-chan.....AH~ it hwurts swenpai :( but i wove it ;3 i'm daddies wittle tide pod hehe (ꈍ꒳ꈍ)i'm all squishy and wet for daddy! (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧ he loves how my bitter taste nuzzles his taste buds and my Botanical Raintm scent!!!! (。・ω・。)but he knows how im not meant to be eaten...(´・ω・`)waaah!!! dont eat all of me daddy( ;∀;) hehehe my soap-pussy is so wet >///< 1 lick 2 lick 3 lick 4... no more daddy i'll break~(●///▽///●) hehe i'm daddies wittle tide pod so wet and squishy =w= 

      Two full raccoons up your ass. Believe in yourself.

        Started from a random tweet in 2019 which blew up due to its absurdity. The pasta is often known as the “Raccoon copypasta” nowadays.

        The human anus can stretch up to 7 inches before taking damage. 
        A raccoon can squeeze into holes as tight as 4 inches, Meaning you can take almost two full raccoons up your ass. Believe in yourself.

        LOL – us diaper fetish folk also think

          LOL - us diaper fetish folk also think Taylor is ICONIC. My amazingly witty partner was changing my nappy the other day and she - with *zero* hesitation- said “The tortured poops department.” I laughed until I cried. Absolutely iconic.

          Original Tweet

          LOL - us diaper fetish folk also think Marvel movies are epic. My amazingly witty partner was changing my nappy the other day and she - with *zero* hesitation- said “Whew! Did Thanos wear thus fricken diaper or what?” I laughed until I cried. Absolutely epic.

          In terms of male human and female chess breeding, The pawn…

            Parody of the Vaporeon copypasta but changed to chess specifically the pawn.

            Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female chess breeding, The pawn is the most compatible chess piece for humans? Not only are they capable of transitioning into other pieces, which is usually the queen, The pawn are an average of 5 cm’ tall and 15 grams, this means they’re large enough to be able handle average reddit users dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to En passant, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly En passant based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Pawn would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Foward, Capture, promote, and En passant, along with not having fur to hide their material, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities En passant and Capture, they can easily commit acts of vore. No other chess piece comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your pawn turn white. Pawn is literally built for human dick. 

            I wish clown girls were real

              Pomni's clussy
              I wish clown girls were an actual race of people. Their entire skin is white. The clown nose is natural. Their nipples and pussy lips, aka Clussy, have alternate colors, sometimes the same as the lips. Their skin probably tastes funny Imagine the taste of their breast milk. Grabbing their breasts or ass causes a honk noise. Want to playfully grope Clown wifes butt in public, loud ass honk is heard echoing from her. Everyone turns to you too, knowing full well what is going on. She embarrassingly honks her nose, trying to play it off.
              I WISH CLOWN GIRLS WERE A REAL HUMAN RACE, THEIR WHOLE SKIN IS WHITE, THEIR CLOWN NOSES ARE NATURAL, THEIR NIPPLES AND VAGINAL LIPS (ALSO KNOWN AS CLUSSY) HAVE ALTERNATING AND SATURATED COLORS... THEIR SKIN PROBABLY TASTES FUNNY, IMAGINE THE TASTE OF THEIR BREAST MILK! SQUEEZING THEIR TITS OR ASS MAKES A CLOWN HORN SOUND, YOU SQUEEZE YOUR WIFE'S FAT WHITE BUTT IN PUBLIC AND A LOUD CLOWN HORN SOUND ERUPTS FROM HER BEHIND, EVERYONE LOOKS AT YOU, KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT HAS JUST TRANSPIRED, AND SHE TENACIOUSLY SQUEEZES YOUR NOSE BACK, TRYING TO COVER UP HER EMBARRASSEMENT.
              Clown girls clussy copypasta
              i wish clown girls were a real breed of humans, their entire skin is white, the red nose is natural, the nipples and vaginal lips (also known as clownssy) have alternate colors, their skin probably have a fun taste , imagine the taste of the breast milk, squeezing their breasts and ass make a horn sound. you squeeze your clown-wife's butt in public and a loud horn sounds by her, then everyone looks at you knowing exactly what you've done, and then she stimidly squeeze your nose to get it out