Oh god I wish Polka would show up unannounced at my front porch in her clown car with inflatable condoms shaped like circus elephants. She would barge in through my front door but barley fit as her puffy clown dress leaves almost no room to spare. Polka would then pull me up to the bedroom, but I would be too embarrassed to look at her reaction as the room is entirely decorated in clown memorabilia. With a powerful shove, Polka would push me onto the bed sheets, releasing a honk sound from the bed's hidden integrated clown mechanism. I would then sit there and watch Polka painstakingly take of the layers of her clown outfit, as she struggles with the intricacy of the many floofs and puffs. When Polka finally strips to just her underwear, she would mount me and clap down with a powerful grip. Unable to break free of Polka's well trained circus hands, I would surrender my being to whatever she desires. As I'd be held down with a single hand, Polka slides her underwear to the side. Finally. Clussy.
imagine dozens of cockroaches crawling into your dickhole. the feeling of thousands of tiny legs marching across your penis flesh as they travel into your balls and bladder. it hurts, so, so much. you arch your back from the discomfort, but deep down you love it. you love the fact you are at the mercy of these bugs that don’t even know how much they are ruining you. you stifle a moan by biting your lower lip as your uretha stretches to it’s limit, ready to break open at any moment. you want it so bad; it’s already enough that they are beginning to explore your insides, and you can feel where every one of them is and what they are doing with insatiable pleasure. the vibration they give off from their crawling and wriggling is practically driving you mad with shameful lust, and you feel yourself reaching your climax. you are full on panting now, and you get the hardest you’ve ever been. eventually all the stimulation becomes too strong, and you cum bucketloads onto the ground, practically roaring from the sensation. the cockroaches were crushed from the sudden force, and one by one they come back out, guts, skin and all. by the time you are done, there is a puddle on the floor of white liquid and broken, mangled cockroach parts.
you are banned from that taco bell the very next day.
I want to fuck Schlatt so bad, whenever I see him, I get a raging boner I cannot control. I've masturbated to all of streams, twice. I would go through the Sahara for a month with no water if it meant I could give a single lick to his smooth bussy. I want too breed him until he vomits my cum.
Every time I see him, I want to lick his whole body from head to feet. I want to cover him with my fluids and my smell.
I bet he's a little naughty bratty bottom that needs to be corrected by dicks. I want to force him into a maid outfit with cat ear, all the while he begs me not too, then breed his neg hole and give him the gift. I want to hear him cry and beg me not to make him poz. I want to turn him into a depraved sex slave who'll beg for cocks.
I once came so hard from the idea of covering his sweet little body, with ants. The mere thought of seeing them enter his urethra gives me a gigantic boner. I drool when i think of him crying and moaning in pleasure all the while more and more of them enter his penis, stimulating it. His screams of terror as they start tearing his penis from the inside make me squirm.
Oh god, I want to fuck him so much, sometime I think about tracking him just to do this to him.
I fucking love the minecraft bee. The minecraft bee is the only thing that gets me off anymore. Normal porn just won't cut it, I swear. I can get it up, but NEVER cum. No matter how hard I try. So I've gotta switch tabs, go to e621 and search minecraft bee. I just wanna be normal, but it's so hard- little cute minecraft bees are just so fucking hot. I imagine dominating them while they squeal in pleasure-Fuck, I'm hard just typing this. Of course, I'll jack to any minecraft creature. It's all just so fucking hot. I can only get off to the bee anymore, but that's ok, you know? But am I a furry? Of course not. Jacking off to the minecraft bee doesn't make me a furry, I just really wanna fuck it. I can cum in a minimum of 2 minutes.
Tarzan went through puberty around apes. He was conditioned to a certain way of life because of his environment.
You cannot convince me otherwise that Tarzan didn’t get aroused by either an ape or something else and then that ape smelling that hormonal change. That ape would’ve acted on instinct and since Tarzan was raised around them it’s extremely likely that he’d follow their lead. The first time he got horny he probably didn’t know what to do. It would only makes sense that he learned how to deal with those sexual urges the same way the apes did.
As for the STD… apes and humans having sex is a big no no. The sanitation is just not there. The bacteria would be raging all around his dick. He probably wouldn’t even clean it afterwards. Gorilla parts and man parts just don’t mix. Bestiality 101
The Involvement of the Minions in World War 2, and the Near Extinction of the Minion Species.
Introduction:
It is a widely debated subject in the Despicable Me community that the Minions served Hitler between 1933 to 1945, with some claiming that such events could not have taken place given that the Minions were trapped in an ice cave for a long duration of time. However, some evidence in the Despicable Me universe points toward a possibility that the Minions not only served Hitler and Stalin, but engaged in a brutal civil war that nearly wiped out the species as a whole.
Evidence No. 1: The Minions trapped in the ice cave are NOT the only Minions in the world.
Proof:
In the Despicable Me and Minions films, we see the Minions interacting with Human society on a rather normal scale. Whether it be going on vacation, joining the French Military, hitch hiking to the villainy convention, wandering through TV studios, getting ice cream and going out in public no one seems to bat an eye to the existence of the Minions. Given that the Minions have been around before the Dinosaurs, its not impossible to assume that there were millions, if not billions of Minions alive on earth given the time they had to spread across the globe. Some possible evidence that there were millions to billions of Minions is how little people react to them in society.
No one seems to bat an eye to the Minions, implying they've been abundant and around long enough to be completely normalized by Human society. In fact the Minions may have well been completely integrated into human society instead of being viewed as a different species. In our universe, if a few hundred 3 foot half naked lemon Tic-Tacs speaking gibberish appeared in the middle of Times Square, not only would people immediately bat an eye, but all of the nation's three letter organizations would be swiftly mobilized to New York. This isn't the case in the Despicable Me universe.
Evidence No. 2: The Minion species, while very resilient, is NOT immortal due to a severe weakness to biological and chemical attacks.
Proof:
In the starting paragraph, I mention that the Minions nearly went extinct from a brutal Minion Civil War. While this point may be contradicted by the Minions being able to survive explosions, torture devices, bullets, kinetic impact and many other lethal threats, the Minions are not very resilient to biological and chemical attacks. In Despicable Me 2, we see the Minions become mutated by the PX-41 Mutagen. Rapidly altering the effected Minion's DNA and causing drastic changes regarding:
Tooth and mouth structure
Abnormal hair growth
Eye color
Skin pigment
Physical structure
Personality and behavior
Later in Despicable Me 2, we see Dr. Nefario cure the Minions using an antidote mixed with the Jelly from earlier in the film. The PX-41 Mutagen, and its respective cure are solid evidence that the Minions are not entirely immortal and possess a severe and potentially lethal vulnerability to biological and chemical attacks. While some may argue that the PX-41 Mutagen and its antidote did not kill the Minions, a disease or toxic gas could prove fatal showing they can be drastically effected by chemical and biological substances.
Evidence No. 3: Stalin and Hitler both attracted Minions in large quantities to both sides of the Eastern Front, which would result in the gruesome Minion Civil War.
Proof:
Stalin and Hitler were both evil tyrants who would be seen as nothing more than soulless monsters to any human, but for the Minions, saying they were gods amongst Minion would be an understatement. With Stalin's gulags and Hitler's concentration camps, the two of them would be the greatest villians Minion kind had witnessed. With World War 2 beginning in the 1930s, the Minions suffered a brutal split in their society and culture, now voluntarily choosing sides of the Second World War between the two tyrants of the Eastern Front. Because of this, the Minions would engage in a brutal war to end the disagreement of whether Stalin or Hitler would be more deserving of Minion service and worship.
Given their vulnerability to chemical agents, both Human and Minion soldiers of the Eastern Front would release chemical agents such as Chlorine, Phosgene and Mustard Gas across the front lines to attack the other side's Minion forces. Given the sheer bloodiness of the Eastern Front, its likely that the majority of the Minions would be killed in the Second World War. Only a few isolated pockets of Minions would survive following the Second World War, with a primary example being the Minions in the ice cave, having emerged following the World Wars with no knowledge of Stalin Or Hitler and the near extinction of their race.
Evidence of a Minion Civil War occurring and being possible can be found at the end of Despicable Me 3, in which a sizable chunk of Gru's Minions defect to Dru, having deemed Dru more evil and more worth their service, along with the remaining chunk of Minions choosing to remain with Gru.
Closure:
It is unclear what happens after Gru gives chase to Dru at the end of Despicable Me 3, however it can be safely assumed that Despicable Me 4 will cover the complete extinction of the last remaining Minions as they battle it out through various means of chemical warfare over whether Gru or Dru is more evil.
Despicable Me 5 will potentially cover Dru and Gru putting their differences aside from their battle in Despicable Me 4 and the two will begin tampering in the realm of genetic engineering in an attempt to revive the Minion species. However the Minions created via Gru and Dru's genetic engineering research would go wrong, and the new Minions would resemble the Post-Humans from All Tomorrows. Leaked script details suggest that the Post-Minions would follow Kevin becoming a female Temptor, Bob getting turned into a Colonial and Stuart being morphed into a Hedonist. It is currently unknown what other All Tomorrows species will appear in the 5th Despicable Me film.
Overall, It is very likely that the minions did serve Hitler to some capacity, and nearly went extinct following World War 2. The tale of the Minion is nothing short but a tragic one. A culturally rich and intelligent race, which had been around before the Dinosaurs, choosing the path of annihilating themselves over two questions with no answer. Today they are a reminder, that Humanity must avoid the same fate as their Minion brothers. The Minions of the World Wars are to today's Humans as a grim teaching, telling us we must be careful with how we treat the choices of conflict and geopolitics, otherwise, we will hear the rhymes of the history books once more.
Works Cited:
1. Renaud, Chris and Pierre Coffin, directors. Despicable Me 2. Illumination Entertainment, 2013.
2. Healy, Janet, et al. Minions. Universal Pictures, Illumination Entertainment , 2015.
3. Meledandri, Chris, et al. Despicable Me 3. Universal Pictures, Illumination Entertainment , 2017.
4. 2020 Oregon Measure 110. Oregon Hosue of Reps. November 3rd, 2020
