1am wake up
2am jack off
3am jack off
4am jack off
5am jack off
6 am rest break (water and protien powder drenched in my own semen)
7 am jack off
8 am jack off
9 am jack off
10 am jack off
11 am jack off (on the roof this time)
12 am jack off
1 pm unlock new semen colour
2 pm jack off
3 pm late lunch (hardened semen chunks)
4 pm jack off
5 pm evaluate Cum Jar collection
6 pm jack off (into pringles can)
7 pm jack off
8 pm jack off
9 pm dinner (large quantities of fried chicken covered in cum)
10 pm jack off
11 pm final hourly jack off
12pm extra jack off
1 am sleep
This is so embarrassing but I literally have a fucking kink for trading like straight up medieval bartering type shit like the thought of like "a pound o' silk for a bucket o' milk" just turns me on for some reason that God Himself refuses to reveal to me. I can't even play Minecraft without getting hard as a fucking battering ram whilst trading emeralds for enchanting books and shit. I have this distinct memory of watching this movie when I was like 13 or 14 and it took place in like medieval Europe or something and this guy was haggling for like a hand sculpted pot or some shit and I had to leave the room to fucking masturbate I felt so weird after. I think that's where it started. I wish I had a normal kink like idk piss or something idk how I'm going to explain to my future partner that I want to roleplay as a 14th century merchant . Man.
"woody" gets jealous when Andy stops playing with him for a new toy called "Buzz", Eventually, Woody learns to accept Buzz and finds Andy has more fun when both woody and Buzz are played with at the same time. It's literally about a dude's misses buying a fuckstick and him getting jealous.
(Wakes up) The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming. Good morning Alix Lynx, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hope on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a Female Girl?? HMMGH, I-I MUST SNIFF, SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF** OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, SNIIFF, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt.
Hey fella's, I'm sure you're aware of the debate between Vaporeon and Umbreon and which is better for being compatible between humans but I've got news for you, There's a pokemon that's even better. as funny as this may sound it's ANOTHER Eeveelution, it's Sylveon to be precise. Sylveon weighs 51.8 Pounds or roughly 23.5 kilograms and is 3'03 tall, so they are most definitely the right size for a person. Even better is that those ribbon-like feelers it has are actually part of its skin! this means they would feel fantastic for cuddling, foreplay, and even handjobs! (RibbonJobs?) even better is that they also emit a soothing aura. it can even wrap them around your arms and read your feelings so it knows when you're in the mood! it also has access to moves like attract, charm, and of course, baby doll eyes! as well as draining kiss, and with those ribbons it has it could pin you down and be on top, if you're the submissive kind of person of course. Quite a large moveset for breeding eh? Now, admittedly they don't have the best HP. but let's be honest, does that even matter? You aren't going to be beating them up right? Here's something else that's interesting to consider. you can ONLY get a Sylveon by having an Eevee that's already got a high affection for you. This means it would be more reciprocative to you and your advances! So there's no need to worry about your sylveon not being into you, i believe this would make it the PERFECT mate! I believe I've made my case for why it's the best pokemon for humans.
Vaporeon is NOT the most compatible pokemon for humans in terms of male human and female pokemon breeding. Sylveon is. They reside in the very same egg group as Vaporeon being from the same evolution basis of Eevee. Sylveon are on average 3"03' tall and 51.8 bls making Sylveon equal in height to Vaporeon albeit 12,1 pounds lighter meaning that in terms of fun in bed Sylveon's lesser weight would allow you as their breeder to more easily lift them and change position at a whim making them not only the perfect size to handle human cock but the perfect weight to play with in bed. On top of Sylveon's superior defense and special defense stat and their access to reflect which halves on coming attacks effectively doubling their defense means you can spank as hard as you wish and Sylveon will be able to take it all and then some. All of this is on top of Sylveon's most common ability being cute charm which has a 30% chance of infatuating anyone of the opposite gender who comes into contact with Sylveon. This means every time you spank, bite, kiss, thrust into Sylveon you will have a decent chance of becoming even more infatuated with them than you already are making them perfect for some rough sex. As well as being a fairy type pokemon there is no doubt in my mind that Sylveon pussy is just down right magical. Wetness be damned when Sylveon is packing a pussy that's unlike anything you'd have ever felt before. Sylveon like Vaporeon also has access to the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip on top of having cute charm as an ability means simply touching a Sylveon could easily get you in the mood and with soft and fluffy fur all over after you've finished the cuddle sessions would be immaculate and with no worry of a completely soaked bed to speak of. And with the ability to get wish, if taught to them before they evolve, can still give Sylveon the ability to recover from and any and all rough play you can have with it with, again, no risk of a completely soaked bed to think of. Sylveon is clearly without equal when it comes to sexual compatibility. Also fun fact if you Sylveon can also learn draining kiss so not only are their pussies magical their mouths are as well. Vaporeon may have been built for human cock but Sylveon were built to give the human cock a truly ascended experience. Greater defense stat + reflect + cute charm + draining kiss means you'll be experiencing the climax of a life time every time you have sex with one and it would still be able to give you more and more and more.
I don't know if you know, but I'm a person who eats a lot of lemons and pineapples, and brother, that changes my enjoyment a lot. I'm basically spiderman, I made a fucking web from one side of the bathroom to the other, I didn't clean it and now I'm calling it a sugar ant bridge
my shit is so rubbery it looks like a tire, how did I manage to manufacture something as amazing as this? now I'll wait until tomorrow and create another sugary bridge. and I didn't even say it but the feeling of the jet coming out of the head of the dick is incredible, because it goes very fast and very far and it gives me a good feeling, it's like a piss of pleasure, you know?
edit: I've been cumming in the entire bathroom for 2 weeks and it's almost impossible to walk around here without getting my fucking face KKKKK, seriously, but since it still has its problems, it's starting to stink and I don't think it's very good to change water for lemonade, I'm having serious health problems right now. my friends say it's disgusting but i think my palace is amazing, it's become my hobby to make fun of the bathroom, every day on fap fap
GO WEB
