U-Um, if it's okay with you, I can try to explain the assassination of John F. Kennedy in Among Us terms. 💫🚀
Among Us is a game where players take on the roles of crew members on a spaceship. It's really exciting! 🛸👨🚀👩🚀 But, um, there are impostors among the crew who try to sabotage the spaceship and, um, kill the crew members. 😱🕵️♂️🔪
So, um, John F. Kennedy was the captain of the spaceship and was playing as a crew member when the impostor, Lee Harvey Oswald, um, infiltrated the spaceship and, um, carried out the assassination. It was a really sad moment for everyone. 😔👨✈️👀
I hope that, um, helps you! If you have any other questions, please let me know. Thank you! 😊👋
You KNOW that Stone Age pussy would hit fucking DIFFERENT.
First of all, people think of these “cavemen” (not even an accurate term) as savages, when nothing could be further from the truth. They had their own cultures, customs, languages, etc. And they weren’t brainless idiots going “grug ugga ug”, they were much more intelligent than popular culture portrays them as - I mean, these guys are the reason we have a civilisation. Meaning that, as long is you could get over the language barrier (and if you have a time machine to take you back to the Stone Age, then you probably can) you could theoretically develop relationships with them.
Really, they’re not so different from today’s humans, they just look a little different and aren’t as educated. But what they may lack in smarts (but, I repeat, NOT in culture), they make up for in physical ability. To hunt wild beasts, they need to be strong, and only the strongest survive, but not just the strongest, the smartest and fastest get favoured by evolution as well. And even the Stone Age women have to be tough - it’s hard living in primitive conditions. So they’d be pretty fit.
What’s more, there’s none of the troubles of modern life - they don’t worry about rent, or the internet, or anything. They’re pretty much carefree.
And reproduction is pretty high up on a Neolithic human’s priorities, you need to make sure the tribe survives after all, so you bet that they’d be dtf. You might be fucking your distant ancestor, but that just makes it wilder, and it doesn’t count as inbreeding if there’s more than 3 generations of separation.
Now, you may be asking “what about diseases? Surely fucking an early human would be unhygienic?” Well once again, you’re biased by the mainstream media into thinking they were unwashed animals. They knew how to take care of their fucking health and hygiene.
And you know how I said that they were primitive? Well, they’re intelligent enough to adapt, so you could teach your New Stone Age family to live in the future, while still maintaining their culture which made them unique from other people. Hence why a Stone Age chick would be the greatest and craziest fuck of your life. God, I wish I had a Stone Age gf.
I love my gf, but everytime I suck her tits i fell gay, like her nipples get so long and hard. It feels like I'm sucking a dick
It fells even more like a dick because it's like 4 inches, lately i don't want to have sex with her because i know her favorite moment is when i suck her nipples, and I don't want to deepthroat a fucking nipple. What should I do guys?
For real, it would be so silly if Kendrick got covered in slime. Just enveloped in icky goop inhibiting his every movement. I bet he’d chuckle to himself, wondering how he got himself into such a mess. I bet he’d get hot and take off his jacket. Besides, it’s covered in slime, so I bet it’d be uncomfortable to wear. It’d be really funny if more slime got poured on him after, double sliming him. I bet he’d get flustered about that, wondering how all this goop even got transported to the ceiling anyways. I bet he’d take off his undershirt, seeing as it’s so thin the slime would seep through it, making it uncomfortable. I bet his six pack would look so nice with the stage lights blowing off of it, like a perfectly chiseled statue. A true modern vitruvian man, shirtless and slightly slimy at the kids choice awards. I bet he’d get a little erect after this whole ordeal, after all, it was probably a hot lady that gave him his kids choice award, and the steamy goop covering him would naturally stir his thoughts. I bet he’d start pitching a tent in his pants, and I bet he’s wearing some real tight jeans. After all, something too baggy and his stunning form wouldn’t be as well presented to the millions of fans watching. I bet he’ll realize it’s too hard to hide his throbbing cock while it’s poking through his jeans, so he’ll take them off and tuck his penis into the waistband of his underwear. I bet the tip of his penis will poke out a little, and he’ll realize there are kids watching, so he’ll scoop a little slime from the ground and put it on the top of his penis to obscure it. Those kids won’t notice, but I will. I’ll see the slime and know how he feels, and what he’s thinking. I bet Kendrick will sit down at the after party at Dan Schneider’s house and think about how good that slime felt on him. I bet it’ll be engrained in his mind so much that he thinks about it every time he has sex for the rest of his life. I bet he’ll buy his own slime off Amazon to try and replicate the feeling, but will fail miserably every time. I bet that’ll send him into a deep depression, which will lead to him quitting music. After all, the only thing that brought him pleasure in life was the Nick slime, and without that he’s nothing. I bet he’ll be wandering around the streets of Los Angeles, sad and single, and see me. I bet we’ll hit it off immediately and become great friends. We both love the kids choice awards, and that common interest leads to a strong friendship, which naturally leads into a strong relationship. I bet Kendrick will get on one knee during our Venice trip to mark our 5th anniversary together. I bet we’ll get married and move to a farm in Washington, where will live out our shared dream of becoming wheat farmers. Sure, we’ll argue and bicker, and might almost fall out a couple of times, but I bet true love will prevail. I bet he’ll hold me as the cancer finally reaches my heart and I begin fading. But I bet that won’t matter, since I’ll have the love of my life wrapped around my arms, and I bet the last thing I’ll see will be him kissing me on the forehead, thanking me for the love, the joy, the memories, and the reason to keep going. I bet our love story will end bittersweet, as all good things do. But just like any great love story, it had to end eventually, and I bet we’ll both be infinitely grateful we got to write it together.
step 1: make sure they are all relaxed undressed and ready for the sloppy toppy
step 2: spit on it and rub it all over it slowly natural lube and getting it hard is pretty important!!
step 3: lick the tip with nothing else touching it make it twitch at the slow licks you give it make them sensitive to everything you do
step 4: relax your throat muscles as you take them in for the first time if you can’t go all the way straight away keep practicing going deeper the longer you go
step 5: don’t be afraid of how much you drool on it trust me it’ll feel good for them as you bob as much as you can taking as much in as you can make them feel all mushy
step 6: make sure you don’t stop if you hear them moan/say they’re gonna cum this is where you speed up and get deeper if you can don’t make the mistake of slowing down
step 7: hold their legs open if you’re going fast they might try to close them through just twitches don’t let them try to escape the sloppy
step 8: deepthroat it all and let them unload all of it don’t stop going fast until you feel it soften and have swallowed all the milk!!
step 9: aftercare is very important if he don’t kiss you after that sloppy he ain’t a keeper
Femboys would be great in the army, they have the strength of a man and can easily seduce the enemy, allowing for advanced distraction tactics. Femboys can also act as pleasure soldiers to the regular soldiers to keep morale up.
-This was brought to you by the United States of America armed forces.
