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CSGO

Archive of all known CSGO copypasta about pro players to Valve’s meme response to Hiko’s missed shots to the 48 year old man from Somalia.

Thats fucking esports right there

    It’s the “Thats fucking football right there” copypasta but changed into CS in response to NiKo smashing his table on LAN. The incident has become an iconic CS moment hence the memes.

    Thats fucking esports right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the webcam bullshit. NiKo punches, NiKo bleeds on the stream, NiKo delivers their new born baby on their HyperX Alloy Elite 2 Mechanical Gaming Keyboard™. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball Counter-strike fuck it chuck it shoot it game time shit. Esports are back, baby 

    That’s fucking Counter-Strike right there

    That's fucking counter-strike right there. None of that pansy ass s1mple-x-dev1ce dick tugging smile for the camera bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the map, men deliver their new born baby in Donut. Fucking hard core dick in the ass B-rush fuck it choke it game time shit. Take it to deathmatch. Dicks get shoved in places you don’t even remember. We win together we celebrate together. Counter-strike is back baby.
    Because that's fucking cs right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging hide behind the wall bullshit. Men wave, men throw thumbs up to the other team, men transform into eco hounds on the front lines. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball CS fuck it chuck it game time shit. CS is back, baby. 

    Donk’s mentality pulling Spirit to the bottom

      By u/ImpressiveAction2382, who posted this unironically about Donk in the CS sub before becoming a meme.

      Donk's mentality pulling Spirit to the bottom 
      
      Is only me mentioned everyone in team Spirit looks like they just don't want to disappoint little boy in their team more than win something and it looks like team strategy? Even if you look at interview of new-old players they said how they have to support him because he can decide to leave. When he started in team Spirit they became best team for half of season and there wasn't such a big pressure. Now I see how mad is donk after his fails even in games they're winning and it fells like everyone including coach are scared to make mistake to not be under donk's negative aura, we could hear it in TeamSpeak in BD Major and how he behaved after loosing mirage(Zywoo would return as better version of him, donk returned tilted). Pressure in TS is very high, but this player makes it worse and worse for his teammates despite he's individually best player, he has to be responsible for his behavior and team results, if he wants to win tournaments as a team he has to fix his mentality. Can imagine TS with Zweih instead of Donk on his core roles could be better team without tilted star.
      
      Simply worst problem of TS is returning to the game after any lose, sometimes it's impossible to comeback and if they lose few rounds in a row they gonna drop this map. And someone after clutch will say "I don't like what happens" and everyone falls silent instead praise the player who won the round
      
      What do you think?

      Obligatory copypasta comment responding to the post

      Comment
      byu/ImpressiveAction2382 from discussion
      inGlobalOffensive
      The whole team walking on eggshells around one player is never gonna work long term, even if he's insane mechanically
      
      Reminds me of donk's early days where the talent was undeniable but the mental side was holding everyone back
      It’s always the worst when your teammate who is doing very well dunks on you verbally. It’s such a mental distraction. If that person is really mad and tearing you apart, it can feel like you HAVE to consider what they’re saying and they can absolutely be wrong. Makes you second guess yourself.
      
      At least that’s my experience. It never makes me play better to hear the clearly better gamer get upset. It’s why I always try to stay chipper and keep morale up. Helps way more than people give it credit for.

      m0NESY’s mentality pulling Falcons to the bottom

      Is only me mentioned everyone in​ Falcons​​​ looks like they just don't want to disappoint little boy in their team more than win something and it looks like team strategy? Even if you look at interview of new-old players they said how they have to support him because he can decide to leave. When he started in​ Falcons​​ they weren't great and there wasn't such a big pressure. Now I see how chill is m0NESY​​​​ after his fails even in games they're winning and it fells like everyone including coach are scared to make mistake to not be under m0NESY​​​'s negative aura, we could hear it in TeamSpeak in BD Major and how he behaved after loosing mirage(donk would return as better version of him, m0NESY​​​ returned chill and looking like he doesn't care). Pressure in Falcons​​​ is very high, but this player makes it worse and worse for his teammates despite he's individually best player, he has to be responsible for his behavior and team results, if he wants to win tournaments as a team he has to fix his mentality. Can imagine Falcons​​ with degster​ instead of ​m0NESY​​​​ on his core roles could be better team without a chill star who doesn't care.
      
      Simply worst problem of Falcons​​ is returning to the game after any lose, sometimes it's impossible to comeback and if they lose few rounds in a row they gonna drop this map. And someone after clutch will say "I don't like what happens" and everyone falls silent instead praise the player who won the round
      
      What do you think?

      S1mple’s mentality pulling BCGame to the bottom

      Is only me mentioned everyone in team BCGame looks like they just don't want to disappoint little boy in their team more than win something and it looks like team strategy? Even if you look at interview of new-old players they said how they have to support him because he can decide to leave. When he started in team BCGame they became best team for half of season and there wasn't such a big pressure. Now I see how mad is s1mple after his fails even in games they're winning and it fells like everyone including coach are scared to make mistake to not be under Simple's negative aura, we could hear it in TeamSpeak in IEM Krakow and how he behaved after loosing mirage(maka would return as better version of him, s1mple returned tilted). Pressure in BCGame is very high, but this player makes it worse and worse for his teammates despite he's individually best player, he has to be responsible for his behavior and team results, if he wants to win tournaments as a team he has to fix his mentality. Can imagine BCGame with donk instead of s1mple on his core roles could be better team without tilted star.
      
      Simply worst problem of BCGame is returning to the game after any lose, sometimes it's impossible to comeback and if they lose few rounds in a row they gonna drop this map. And someone after clutch will say "I don't like what happens" and everyone falls silent instead praise the player who won the round
      
      What do you think?

      You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.

        AZER from osu!

        It was originally for AZER (an OSU player) back in 2017 which then got adopted for Alex19 in CSGO and so on. Nowadays its often used for whichever player people are cheering on.

        AZER (osu!)

        AZER isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such aim ability and movement with a tablet? Alex puts the game in another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skill and passion for the game again. Cookiezi breaks records. Rafis breaks records. Azer breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.

        AZER copypasta translated in 727 different languages

        Are Commercial Azerbaijan? You have fun? At the end of the minute you can see a player? Alex will sell a game anywhere, and if you want to see talents and fans, they are divided into teams. By deleting the selected URL, complete the menu. Assarba does not comply with the rules. You can save your data. I want to be afraid. 

        TenZ (Valorant)

        TenZ isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such an aim and movement? Tyson puts the game in another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skill and passion for the game again. aspas breaks records. zekken breaks records. TenZ breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.

        Alex19 (CSGO)

        Alex19 isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such an ability and movement with fox? Alex puts the game in another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skill and passion for the game again. mang0 breaks records. Armada breaks records. Alex19 breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.

        As someone who owns a butterfly gamma doppler, I am telling you, no one calls tradeup knives real.

          Comment
          byu/csmoney_official from discussion
          incounterstrike2
          As someone who owns a butterfly gamma doppler, I am telling you, no one calls tradeup knives real. They are not the same thing. A case knife is a CASE KNIFE and a member of the LEGIT knife family. Tainted crafted frankenblades are not real knives. It is okay to just admit you are coping, you know? For instance, check floatdb on my butterfly "Found in crate" as real as it gets buddy. Your knife? "Crafted" hahaha. Keep flexing your 5 melted down reds, we are not the same 

          Just smashed my TV in rage. This team is embarrassing me in front of my entire family. My 2 children are in tears

            The original came from a Tweet by a football fan and is done as a joke similar to ‘I just smashed my 4K TV‘ copypasta.

            CS2 (Knife price crash)

            Just smashed my 32-inch monitor in rage. Valve embarrassed me and ruined my financials in front of my entire family. My 2 children are in tears, scared of my rage as I pace around the room trembling. I can’t take this anymore. I’m about to do something crazy… 

            Valorant (TenZ)

            Just smashed my 84-inch TV in rage. This team is embarrassing me in front of my entire family. My 2 children are in tears, scared of my rage as I pace around the room trembling. I can’t take this anymore. Fire TenZ immediately or my kids will not get dinner tomorrow.

            Genshin

            Just smashed my 84 inch TV in rage. This game is embarrassing me in front of my family. My 2 children are in tears, scared of my rage as i pace around my room trembling. I cant take this anymore. I am no longer a genshin fan. GOODBYE.

            I believe Zonic deserves MVP more than Monesy.

              I believe Zonic deserves MVP more than Monesy. He was extremely consistent with fist bumps and shouting: "Nice boys!" after each won round. Worked hard for each $ from his salary . Not his fault Niko can't kill players from behind .