I was in school right? Its 3rd period, english (or as i like to call it LAME period😂) and my teacher tries starting the lession. I shouted "SUS!" At the top of my lungs and looked around the classroom to see if anybody was laughing. My teacher looked at me a frowned like i was an idiot. I didnt let him mog me though. I saw my crush Bethany sitting on the complete opposite side of the room from me, i winked and her and did my best troll face impression. She looked at me for a second like she was confused and then looked down at her desk. I guess she's a normie lol. I knew that since she didnt get my first joke i'd do a fortnite reference, so i jumped out of my desk while the teacher was mid lesson and i started flossing infront of the whole class. I screamed "THE TEACHER IS THE IMPOSTER" and "I have african children locked in my basement" as a joke but nobody laughed and my teacher looked shocked. I got sent to the principals office and told the principal i wasnt racist and i dont have african children in my basement, it was just a meme. Of course the principal is too old to understand so i thought of a joke that he'd get.
I ran out of the principals office and started screaming "BOMB! I PUT A BOMB IN THE CAFETERIA GUYS HAHA" Immediately 911 was called and bomb squad showed upto my school. I was put in handcuffs and escorted to a police car. I told the cops "don't worry guys its ok im white" (like the filthy frank reference) but they didn't the joke and now everyone thinks im racist and a threat to SUSciety
AITA?
I'm (14M) really straight and I've always wanted to befriend females, but the problem with females is that they are annoying and manipulative, they cry all the time and say that you're not good enough while they do nothing to improve themselves. I think men are much more better than females and that we should handle things. We're prettier and more talented and stronger and a lot smarter than them and we don't let emotions take over us. I was talking about this one day with my friend (15F) who thinks exactly like me and he agreed with me that men are the best and then he took off my pants and told me my penis is praiseworthy for a man. I did the same thing to him and then he asked me if I want to feel in my mouth how manly he is so I did it and we switched the roles. It was amazing to see how strong men are together and how much better we are than females. It should be noted that I am a homophobe and what we did wasn't homosexual but was men's empowerment. Am I the asshole?
Title pretty much says it all. What do you good bros of reddit think - AITA?
She (25 f) is being very ungrateful and hostile even though I (29 M) am letting her live with me RENT FREE since she lost her job. She worked with me at the Verizon store but has since then started doing cam work, reading feminist literature, and following religious blogs. She's also on Instagram a lot, and I saw her watching Gilmore Girls on her iphone XR the other day. I think one or all of these media are influencing her to feel entitled even though I'm letting her stay here stay RENT FREE.
Edit 1: Thanks for the gold kind stranger!
Edit 2: Wow 10k updoots. This is my highest updooted post now.
Edit 3: Thanks guys. I can't see what I did wrong either. She's just really entitled, I think.
Edit 4: A few of you asked for a bit more context. NO, there is no "intermediate cause and effect sequence" between when I allowed her to stay vs when she became ungrateful. I let her live with me RENT FREE, she started watching Gilmore Girls, and now she's claiming I'm the asshole. There's nothing else to say.
Edit 6: Thanks for the platinum kind stranger!
Edit 7: No, I didn't ask why she's upset. I'm letting her live with me RENT FREE and I don't owe her anything.. She's just entitled as many younger women are.
Edit 8: No, nothing could have "set her off" or "alarmed" her. I'm really quiet and she's a heavy sleeper.
Edit 9: Bros I don't know what to do she's leaving oh god.
Edit 10: Sorry, the last edit should have been Edit 9.
Edit 11: Wait I forgot I could change the edit numbers in an edit.
Edit 12: Ignore the last two edits.
Edit 13: Wait ignore that last edit and this one too.
Edit 14: I tried telling her Reddit said I'm not the asshole she's still going away bros this is so scary.
Edit 15: Okay so AGAIN, she's a really heavy sleeper so I don’t know what could have triggered her :( Only thing that comes to mind is about a week ago when I asked if I could sniff her asshole after she relieved herself, but nothing that would explain why she'd be ungrateful since I'm letting her live here RENT FREE.
Edit 16: wow 20K updoots
AITA for accidentally pushing classmate by trying to tackle school shooter?
So I was in English class when I noticed the quiet kid starting to sweat a lot, whispering to himself and get all fidgety. Now I'm no psychiatrist, but I swear I got a vision of him getting a gun and opening fire right there in the classroom, kind of like that one movie where they all die in the end. So I start paying close attention to him.
15 minutes go by, and what do you know, he reaches for his bag and pulls out a gun. Before he even gets the chance of firing the first bullet, I rush to tackle him. I honestly wasn't thinking straight. Looking back, I guess I just didn't want anyone to be killed or something, I couldn't stand losing anyone of my classmates.
The problem was, I accidentally slightly pushed back an innocent classmate who was in between the shooter and me by trying to tackle the shooter. I instantly felt bad but kept the plan of bringing the shooter to the ground before he could kill anyone.
Even though I succeeded in disarming him, I still felt bad. When everyone was thanking me and chanting my name while the cops arrested the shooter, all I could think of was how I accidentally pushed him. I told my volunteering group and the burned victims at the hospital I visit every single day and they all agree I did nothing wrong. I even spoke with the HIV kids after dressing like Spiderman and giving them toys and they agreed I did nothing wrong.
I spoke to him 3 days later after clearing my mind a little bit and he said, "Are you kidding me? You saved my life! I can't believe you feel bad about it. We all owe you, especially me after you revived my dad with CPR last year. I barely felt the hit".
I'm just confused... AITA?
First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking.
I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem.
Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it.
Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up."
I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight.
He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
Ok, so today I was talking to my friend over text. I asked him what's his favorite anime but then he told me that he doesn't watch it and thinks it's boring. I was confused as to why he didn't watch anime. I told him about how much I like to watch anime "for the plot" but he didn't really show much interest. I then asked him if we could play Among Us later but then he said he has to go to church this afternoon. I never knew he was a Christian. I was asking him why he believed in God and he didn't reply so I told him he's intellectually inferior to me and that his parents indoctrinated him into believing in God. I was sending him scientific studies that show proof that atheists are more intellectually superior to people who believe in religion. I later found out that he was attending a funeral at the church.
Edit: Why do I find it hard to make friends?
