Skip to content

Warframe

I own a Vadarya Prime for home defense

    By u/megagamer20, its the “Own a musket for home defense” copypasta but changed to the Vadarya Prime sniper rifle from Warframe.

    I own a Vadarya Prime for home defense, since that's what the The Seven intended. Four Dax break into my house. "What the devil?" I say as I grab my alt helmet and glorified railgun. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Euphona Prime on the second man and miss him entirely because I have Magnum Force equipped and nails the neighbors kubrow. I have to resort to the Felarx mounted at the top of the stairs modded for blast, "Tally ho, lads!" I say as the status effects shred two men in the blast, the sound and screams of the incarnon form set off the Altra sentinels. I draw my Dakra Prime and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since he's vulnerable to being killed for the plot. Just as the The Seven intended.

    I own a Kuva musket for home defense

    By u/MoonlitWolfheart, its the “Own a musket for home defense” copypasta but changed to the Kuva weapons from Warframe.

    I own a Kuva musket for home defense, since that's what our Golden Lords intended. Four Grineer break into my Orbiter. "What the Indifference?" As I grab my Prime Syandanna and Chakkur rifle. Blow a Roller sized hole through the first clone, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Twin Rogga on the second clone, miss him entirely cuz of Magnum Force mod that halves my accuracy and nails the neighbour's Kubrow. I have to resort to the Corvas Prime flak cannon mounted atop my Necramech, loaded with grapeshot. "Tally ho, lads!" The grapeshot shreds two clones in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off another of Ordis' PTSD episodes. Fix Sheev dagger and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the Kuva Guards to arrive, since Sheev shred wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as our Golden Lords intended. 
    Comment
    byu/MoonlitWolfheart from discussion
    inmemeframe
    Own a Chakkhurr for home defense, since that's what the Lotus intended. Four Grineer break into my camp. "What the devil?" As I grab my pink rhino and explosive rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Angstrum on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and explodes the neighbors kubrow. I have to resort to the Zarr mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off landing craft alarms. Fix Skana and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the dropship to arrive since triangular sword wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the Lotus intended.

    80 argon crystals? Thats so lucky

      Written by u/Davigotero, its a joke on how fast the Argon Crystal decay over time in Warframe.

      Man... 80 argon crystals? Thats so lucky, I wish I could have 40 crystals like you. I mean, how lucky do you have to be to get 20 crystals? Now when you have to craft something, there's gonna be 10 crystals waiting for you... A WHOLE 5 CRYSTALS; thats like, impressive.
      
      Anyways enjoy your 3 crystals, I heard they have a lot of value by themselves! So having two is more then enough, and I hope you have some items who need 1 crystal and- they are gone...

      I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Lavos.

        Lavos copypasta from Warframe

        Written by u/Aden_Vikki, its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Lavos from Warframe.

        I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Lavos. I try to play Valkyr. My Lavos deals more damage. I try to play Mirage. My Lavos deals more damage. I try to play Rhino. My Lavos deals more damage. I want to play Xaku. Their best skill is a subsume for Lavos. I want to health tank, not shield gate. Lavos can do both.
        
        He grabs me by the throat. I fish for him. I buy arcane grace for him. I give him adaptation. He isn't satisfied. I try acid shells Saryn. "I can do that too." He tells me. "My forced procs are universal." He grabs kunai incarnon and nukes the room. "You just need to invest more into health tanking. Those umbral mods take a lot of mod capacity."
        
        I can't do that, I don't have enough umbral formas. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." He grabs his catalyst probe. He says "Probes, get him." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure forced blast procs. What a cruel world

        Original

        I try to play Valkyr. My Lavos deals more damage. I try to play Mirage. My Lavos deals more damage. I try to play Rhino. My Lavos deals more damage. I want to play Xaku. Their best skill is a subsume for Lavos. I want to health tank, not shield gate. Lavos can do both.
        
        He grabs me by the throat. I fish for him. I buy arcane grace for him. I give him adaptation. He isn't satisfied. I try acid shells Saryn. "I can do that too." He tells me. "My forced procs are universal." He grabs kunai incarnon and nukes the room. "You just need to invest more into health tanking. Those umbral mods take a lot of mod capacity."
        
        I can't do that, I don't have enough umbral formas. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." He grabs his catalyst probe. He says "Probes, get him." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure forced blast procs. What a cruel world

        Own a Kuva Chakkhurr for home defense, since that’s what the Queens intended

          Lich musket copypasta

          Its the “Own a musket for home defense” copypasta but changed into a Lich gun from Warframe.

          Own a Kuva Chakkhurr for home defense, since that’s what the Queens intended. Four tenno breach into my galleon. "Found you!" As I grab my helmet and Mars rifle. Blow a redbull can sized hole in the first one, he’s downed on the spot. Draw my Stug on the second, miss him entirely because it’s a Stug and nail a thrall’s Drahk. I have to resort to the Rampart mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with toxin. "Nice helmet! I'll use it to serve dip." The toxin rounds shreds two tenno in the volley since it ignores shields, the sound spooking a sentry and making him lockdown the whole ship. Use Overload and charge the last pathetic worm. He bleeds out without being able to self revive since he didn’t bother unlocking his waybounds and perpetually runs Zenurik. Just as the Queens intended. 

          Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room. Room full of host migrations.

            Warframe's Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room. Room full of host migrations.

            Its the “Crazy? I was crazy once…A rubber room with rats.” copypasta but changed to Warframe during host migration. Host migration is a thing in Warframe because it uses peer to peer style of hosting meaning one player is serving as the host. If that host leaves then the game will try to pick someone else from the team to make host.

            Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room. Room full of host migrations. Host migrations drive me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room. Room full of host migrations. Host migrations drive me crazy.
            Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room. A Room full of host migrations. And Host migrations drive me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room. A Room full of host migrations. And Host migrations drive me crazy.

            Warframe monologue

              The full Vor monologue from Warframe

              Captain Vor or the Corrupted Vor monologue is a speech delivered by the enemy Vor in Warframe. Its a popular copypasta within Warframe because of how long his monologue is and he doesn’t stop when he dies, because his lines are scripted. So, when players kill him, especially high level players who can kill him almost instantly, he just keeps talking until its over.

              Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through it's Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn it's simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity.
              Open ultra long pasta
              They come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn its simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity. Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn its simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity. Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn its simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity. Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn its simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity. Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn its simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity. Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn its simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity. Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn its simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity. Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn its simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity. Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment?