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Touhou


I want to marry Kirisame Marisa from the Touhou Project.

    I want to marry Kirisame Marisa from the Touhou Project. Ever since I was a young boy I've been interested in blondes, but I've mostly been repelled because they are stupid white women who do not know how to think. One day, while I was playing touhou, I saw an image of a peculiar blonde with a witch attire. I immediately fell in love. The long, luscious hair, the dominating yet cute attire, the smug, tsundere, yet cute personality all formed into one perfect being by the name of Marisa Kirisame. And so I began my search for Marisa, I played all the touhou games with all the spell cards just so I could the most out of her majesty. I searched all of Danbooru for images of her, just so I could get to see her beautiful tomboyish body. You see, Cirno is not the tomboyish girl in love. Marisa is. She is in love with me. Yet the reality barrier separates us like Romeo and Juliette. It is the cruel fate that is reality that separates such star-crossed lovers from each other. Only something so powerful as the reality barrier can separate me from my dear Marisa. For it is my true fate to be married to my lover. On dark days where there is no sun, I shall caress Marisa and tell her everything is alright. On bright days, where there is nought but bliss, I will stay by her side, to share the bliss infinitefold, like two mirrors in proximity. On the adventurous days, we will steal what we wish. Some days, we will steal diamonds. Some days, we will steal virginities. And always, we will steal our hearts. Each other's hearts. For it is the true love that does not brag, it only contains itself infinitely. Such is the love of me and Marisa Kirisame 

    Can we please stop sending lesbian touhou porn in the sub?

      Uhhhmmm, g- guys? I have a little favor to ask, and I promise it won't take much of your time. Can we please stop sending lesbian touhou porn in the sub?
      
      You see, my mom checks my phone every now and then (she's a bit of a gap youkai parent), and she already took it away once. It was really not fun, and she even went as far as blocking my favorite YouTuber, Dream, on our home network. I really don't want that to happen again, and I'm sure you guys can understand.
      
      O- on a lighter note, can we talk more about My Little Pony and bronies? They are so cool, and I think we can all have a great time discussing our favorite characters, episodes, and fan theories. Plus, it's a topic my mom would be totally fine with, and I know many of you love MLP too!
      
      So, to sum it all up, please let's stop sending lesbian touhou porn, and try to focus on more kid-friendly topics like My Little Pony and bronies. I really appreciate your understanding, and I hope we can keep having fun in this awesome subreddit!!!

      Aya Shameimaru

        Manipulating my gf into becoming Aya

        I'm actually manipulating my gf into becoming Aya. I convinced her to take lessons in journalism and I managed to convince her to dye her hair black by telling her she'd look prettier that way. She always had her hair at shoulder lenght so that saved me some effort. I started dating her on purpose because she was a japense girl of similar height and build as Aya, so she's the perfect candidate. Lately I have been playing "Wind god girl" I during her sleep and whispering "You love being a journalist, you love spreading misinformation, you love laying eggs..." on weekdays and on weekends, I read a book full about Japanese folklore, mostly for the parts that include Tengu's, and Tengu related information, I found it on amazon, so occasionally I talked to her about on a daily basis and to my surprise it worked. She now loves writing fictitious journalistic articles online, where she cherry picks the facts and makes things up without a source, they are made in way to bait clicks, and has started developing an significant interest in Japanese folklore, She isn't capable of laying eggs yet, but she'll know how when I'm done brainwashing her. Soon I will start subtly changing my body language around her to reflect approval towards outfits Aya would wear and things Aya would say. I've also been keeping her on a strict diet which keeps her slim. I am also the editor for her online news articles. By next year the project should be done and I will hand sew her a replica of Aya's outfit so that I will be the first man on earth to try truly date a Touhou in real life. her Or at least as close as is possible'

        Aya’s Eggs

        Eggs are pretty good food. But man I really wonder what Aya's eggs would taste like. Like seriously, they'd probably be really really good because Aya moves around so much in the first place. The healthier and more active a bird is, the better quality and tasting their eggs will be and Aya is extremely active. Her eggs would probably be the richest, smoothest, most creamy tasting eggs on the planet, no matter how they're cooked. Heck I'd even eat her egg raw. Even if she is a carrier of salmonella it'd be worth it in the end because I could say that I ate one of Aya's divine pure white orbs of mouthwatering goodness. Just thinking about cracking open one of Aya's show white ovals into the pan and hearing the sizzle and smelling and filling my head with basically pure Aya essence fills me with ecstasy, even if it's just the mere thought. Oh god what I'd do for a chance to taste the sovereignty of the flavors dancing on my tongue knowing that those flavors came out of Aya in the shape of an oblong sphere like object. Who I'd kill just for a chance to smell the musk on Aya's freshly laid eggs. Please god just grant me this one chance. This one favor. The last and final thing I need in life is a couple of Aya's freshly laid eggs still coated in the fluids that come out of her body. Please let me watch her lay her eggs and her cloaca expanding as she pushes out a fresh steamy warm unfertilized egg right in front of me. Oh what I'd do to suck out the egg right from the cloaca and swallow it whole like a snake.

        Aya was the main perpetrator for creating the fake moon landing

        Hey guys, did you know that Aya was the main perpetrator for creating the fake moon landing? Yeah, it's actually Aya who orchestrated the whole thing. The whole "space race being an arms race to show whose technology is more superior" is just a cover story made by this conniving bird. Aya isn't the only person who faked it, she had the help of Nitori and the advanced for outside world humans at the time, greenscreen technology and CGI, though unwillingly as Aya had some dirt on her that could ruin her business and PR.
        
        Now you gotta be wondering why she did it. Well, first of all it's to fool the lunarians into believing that people did land on the moon and are powerful enough to take them on. Making the lunarians believe that outside world humans are more powerful than they could ever imagine. The cover story also affecting humans are just an unintended consequence. There was also the motive of profit, the 25 BILLION dollars is a LOT of money, and all she had to do was a fake a moon landing? That's a steal for her! And the scariest reason she did it is to show that she can do it, for shits and giggles! Can you believe it? Orchestrating the biggest conspiracy in the planet that humans landed on the moon, labeled a momentous achievement for humans but was actually faked. Faked by this so called "Pure and honest" reporter.
        
        NASA didn't fake the moon landings just to avoid humiliation, Aya's information network is so vast that it actually covers the outside world too so she has dirt on NASA as well, if word got out that the moon landing was fake. Hundreds, even thousands of leaked sensitive information that could ruin the administration.
        
        And most importantly, Aya is a great photographer and photo editor, she is REALLY good at it. She can doctor any image and make it so convincing you would be swayed by her photos and sweet little lies she does. You think Aya's just your average paparazzo who takes nude pictures, but you'd be dead wrong. She is probably the most informed character in all of gensokyo and has enough skills in manipulation and data suppression that she actually has the whole world at her fingertips.

        STOP SAYING TOUHOU IS ANIME

          Most sane Touhou player
          STOP SAYING TOUHOU IS ANIME! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME JAPANESE GOBLIN, ON DISCORD MEMORIES OF PHANTASM! I was in a server, right? and ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just asking "what anime are these". I-I showed my Marisa Figurine to my girlfriend and t-the big eyes I looked at it and I said "hey babe, when the Touhou is anime HAHA Shiranai wa sonna mahou Omoi wa tsutaetara kowarechau Anata to wa chigau kara Hito no kokoro made kantan ni nusumanaide" I fucking looked at a apple and said "THAT'S A BAD APPLE" I looked at Remelia I think of two zero zero eight three four and I go "HEY MISTER, WANNA HAVE S-" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG