I know this sounds like a shit post but hear me out.
I have large testicles. It is not a gift. I have a massive bulge that is very hard to hide. I’ve been harassed because of it. I sit on them sometimes. They are like a huge target to everything. For example, when I get home from work. My dog is just the perfect height that when she jumps on me for lovins, she decks me in the jewels every time. It has become a problem honestly.
Now for the worst part. The insecurity. I have an average sized dong that I am not at all mad about. It does the job and does it well.
The part that sucks is the bulge. Some people see it and assume I have a horse cock. It makes it embarrassing when I finally get a home run with a lady and she looks disappointed.
I am very sorry for the inappropriate post. It is my biggest insecurity and my daily hell and the only person I can talk to about it is my current girlfriend.
This last weekend I went to a party and got really wasted with a couple of my friends. At some point some of my friends started going into the seperate rooms of the house with some girls, away from the heart of the party. My friend and I were really wasted and horny at the thought of everybody getting some. So we decided to go into another room and next thing I know I'm 5 inches into his ass. I'm scared that people will find out what we did but since the balls didn't touch it doesn't mean its gay does it? Please help me I don't know what to do.
So yesterday at lunch, I was about to eat with my friends from band when I realized that there was an empty seat at a table with some of the popular kids. I decided to take advantage of this opportunity to troll them, and perhaps befriend some of them. I sat at their table, and right as I sat down, I noticed that one of the kids (who happened to be black) was sitting above a vent. I yelled "Black is sus! He's on top of a vent!!" Everyone at the table looked up at me, but no one laughed (they probably didn't get the reference). I decided that I would try to get them to be familiar with it, so I asked "Do to guys wanna play some Among Us???" They were all dead silent (honestly they just didn't know how fun of a game it was). I slapped the middle of our table (to mimick the "emergency meeting" feature in Among Us), and I screamed "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!" Again, none of them laughed. One of them looked at me and said "Can you please sit somewhere else?" At this point, I realized that I had to make them laugh quickly, or I would blow my chance with them. I made the widest grin I could possibly make (Trying to mimick the "When the imposter is sus" meme) and I said "When the impoter is sus". I then tried to make a face that resembled the "Flushed" emoji (as part of the meme). However, I don't think any of them understood the reference. I then pulled up the among us theme song on Youtube and played it on full blast. At this point, everyone at my table was asking for me to leave, and their friend came back, who regularly sat in the chair I was sitting in. I went back to sit with my friends from band. However, I will forever remember the time I trolled ALL of the popular kids in my grade.
I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge, and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly cum every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius's wrath. then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate | unleash with the fury of a lion hunting it's prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that | busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.
Recently I discovered my parents play LoL together in secrecy.
My younger brother and I were both gifted new gaming laptops last Christmas. My parents set some ground rules however. After 8pm they are to be left in the lounge room as to ensure we don’t take them to bed with us and spend the entire evening gaming.
A few evenings ago I woke up in the middle of the night and was fairly restless, I tossed and turned in bed and for the love of god could just not get back to sleep. I laid awake staring at the ceiling finally on the verge of dozing back off until I started hearing some faint noises. The noises were fairly quiet at first and seemed to be coming from my parents room. As the seconds past the noises became more clear and more frequent. It was my father and mother, and they were playing LoL!
I couldn’t make out most of what they were saying but they must of been caught in an intense team fight. I heard a lot of back a forth sighing and panting and what I assume was the banging of the mouse against bed side table.
I laid there and listened in as best I could and the noises kept ramping up and I assume the game got more intense and more intense.
It must of been slightly past the 25 minute mark at this point when all I can assume a massive team fight broke out. I suppose my father is a support main like my self as I could hear my mother encouraging him and coaching him on his Alistar play.
“Pulverise that pussy! Pulverise it”
There must have been a Yummi on the other team. I could picture the team fight in my head playing out and I started to get more frantic wondering what the outcome of the team fight would be.
“Yes baby, keep going keep going” My mother exclaimed.
They must of aced them and are now running down mid to close the game out! I can only assume my mother has just respawned and is about to TP in the enemy base to join father in killing the nexus!
“I’m coming baby I’m coming” She keeps repeating to my father “Yes keep hitting it just like that” My dad must be carrying this game from the way my mother is yelling at him in joy
“OHHHH FUCK YES DAVID” she screams!
He’s done it. My dad has killed the nexus and my parents have gained some hard earned LP.
The room goes silent and I catch my breath also after listening in on one of the most intense games of my life. I assume they didn’t que up again because in the next hour or so I didn’t hear a noise. Eventually I fall back asleep myself.
The next morning I got up out of bed and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast. My parents are sitting at the table.
We make some small talk before I have to quickly head out the door and go meet my friends. As I’m about the leave I turn to both of them and let them know I heard them last night.
I quickly pat my dad on the back and congratulate him and start heading out the door. My father has gone bright red and my mother’s mouth is wide open in shock.
I assume they are both embarrassed and completely gob smacked because they haven’t said a word and I now know they are gamers.
Just before I pull the door closed behind me I turn to my mother and exclaim “Don’t worry mum, I fucking hate Yummi too” and give her a cheeky little wink
I'm 13 and and my mom is 33. Things at the school were never great. I'm sorta short so i get picked on some but it was manageable. That was, until one of my classmates showed me a picture of my mom naked. I almost had a panic attack and had to be excused from the classroom. I ended up not showing up to school for a few days (faking sick). I was hoping that things would cool off but they didn't. As soon as I got to school almost everyone was staring and laughing at me. This has been going on for about a week now. I was wondering how my classmates even got the pictures and apparently my mom advertises her onlyfans on her personal Twitter account. Some students from the school follow her and were able to see the nudes and they have been spread everywhere. I don't even have a Twitter so I didn't know about any of this.
The worst part is when I confronted my mom about this she told me that I was overreacting and that sex work is basically the same as working at a bank or a grocery store. She also said it makes her feel good about herself and that I should be happy that she's more confident now. I told the principal but they can't suspend thousands of students or take anyone's phones. I've been crying in my room everyday for the past week. I don't think I can take it anymore.
