So uhhhhhhhhhhhh….. a few years ago a girl I was hanging out with gave me a blanket that she didn’t want anymore. I took it home and realized it smelled just like her. I slept with that blanket in my arms and pretended it was her.
I was the only one in my friend group that she never had sex with and I spent the most time with her out of all my friends. She legit would talk about how good my friend ate her pussy and I would just sit there like 🫤👍 while holding on to a sliver of hope that she would at least let me cuddle with her. For My birthday my friends tried to convince her to at least make out with me bc nobody had ever even kissed me before. She said that I was her best friend and that she never wanted to do anything sexual with me because I was such a good friend.
Edit: yeah I stopped hanging out with her after another friend made me realize that she was being hella manipulative and was playing with my feelings. She was always super flirty and touchy with me and sometimes she would actually cuddle w/ me but she was pretty adamant about just remaining friends. I know she had a ton of mental issues but she was also a complete piece of shit human being. She legit verbally abused her parents and pretty much destroyed their marriage. She acted like her life was shit and nobody loved her despite the fact that her family took $5k+ vacations and she lived in a nice ass house. She threatened to kill herself constantly and tried twice ( I will never forget her having a seizure and throwing up all over my car as I drove her to hospital whilst doing 90 in a 45 in a Corolla at 3 am after she took a bunch of pills). Almost every single therapist she had gave up on her because she was a sociopath and was unable to listen to reason
Not all of it was bad. I hang out with a ton of her friends still. Also I kinda sorta fucked her sister 😭 her sister works with mentally disabled people but also is an escort who specializes in helping kids with autism and Down syndrome lose their virginity (me included lol). I remember the girl I hung out with had to go to a doctors appointment when her sister told me to come into her room. She asked me if I wanted to have sex and of course i said yes. Legit the best two hours of my life. Just the way she spoke to me in this quiet, comforting voice still still gives me chills to this day. She legit made me cry because she never stopped saying how awesome I was and how everything was gonna be alright. We fucked a few more times before I stopped hanging out with her sister but I will never forget her
A little backstory, I am gay and by best freind is straight, he doesnt know that I'm gay yet, but I plan on telling him soon. So one day he invited me to a sleepover and I planned on telling him there and got way too nervous and chickened out, I am also in love with my best friend and went we went to sleep he looked way sexy so I got really horny and couldn't resist. Note: my friend takes sleeping pills, so he gets knocked out cold and its hard to wake him up. anyway, I decided to rail his asshole harder than ever and came in him. In the morning he said his asshole hurt and looked at me weird, i said "it mustve been the dog or something, maybe he humped while you were asleep" he doesnt have a dog.
Good god what a day.
So I was minding my business in my room, when I start hearing this buzzing noise from somewhere. I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from, and honestly it sounded like a vacuum coming from the room above. It goes on for a few minutes until my mom comes into my room and asks me where the noise is coming from. At the time it’s just me and my mom in our house, so we start investigating. Sure enough it’s coming from my sisters room, underneath her bed. My mom asks me to retrieve whatever’s making the noise.
“What is it?”
I reach under the bed, and I find what’s making the noise. Oh no
I lie. “Uhh, yeah it’s an alarm clock”
“Can you take it out?”
I start panicking inside “Uhh sorry I can’t it’s stuck”
“What do you mean it’s stuck?”
“Idk wait give me a sec I need a flashlight”
I rush back to my room and at this point I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to expose my sister and idk how my mom would react. My mom is feeling a bit sick so she can’t reach down there herself. I grab my alarm clock and go back to my sisters room.
I hid it from my mom but I pretend to reach for something under the bed, and I show my alarm clock to my mom. Thankfully she doesn’t know it’s mine. So the official story now is that her alarm clock went off bc it was set at the wrong time.
My sister gets home, and my mom scolds her for setting her alarm clock at the wrong time. She looks confused since she doesn’t have one. I tell her to be more careful about her alarm clock next time. I think she knows what happened, she hasn’t left the room for awhile.
tl/dr: I found a vibrator underneath my sister’s bed, created a lie to prevent my mom from finding out. she now owes me big time
Ever since I was a wee lad, I noticed my penis was a bit large. I thought it was normal, untill my mom bathed me with my brother and I saw his little wee wee compared to mine, I couldn't help but point at it and mock it. A few months later when I started kindergarden, the teacher inspected our cocks for the monthly cock inspection, and noticed my large dick. I was very young but I could still see he was very envyous of my humongous cock, knowing he will never be as big, he called my mom and told her a doctor should see my penis. The doctor said he had never seen such an amazing specimen of a dong, that was the first moment I saw pride in my mom's eyes. I cherish these memories, as the cock inspection was the pinnacle of any month for me, seeing all the other pathetic little weiners. I loved watching the other kids take quick glances of my cock in fear and shame.
A few years later when I was about 11 years old, my penis has started to become a burden for me. Having a 24.089 inch dick in 6th grade is no joke, I had to come up with creative ideas of where to hide the magnificent beast. Usually I hid it inside the right leg of my pants, kids always thought it was weird how my right leg was so "muscular" compared to my other, which meant I had to workout only my left leg in order to not arouse suspicion. I remember I went home depressed one day, crying to god on why did he curse me with such a shaft. I was tearing my pants with anger, when I started to feel tingly sensation in my penis. I started rubbing it, and suddenly it GREW EVEN LONGER, I was devestated because I thought it was already too large, but the feeling I had when I was rubbing it was too good to stop. I started holding it with both my hands and stroking it, but it was not enough, I could not satisfy my monster with mere hands, so I began using my feet too. The feeling was incredible, god was on my side again. As I was rubbing it faster and faster, I thought of my science teacher. My cock was throbbing, my nipples erect, my eyes wide and open. I was on my bed at the time, and I felt my Johnson about to erupt with tremendous force, I didn't know what to do so I hid under the bed, and then I came. It was like 4th of july. At first the stream was steady, of white cream in about 1 liter per second, then it was chaos. My penis was going up and down dancing with explosions of cum(Only later that day I found out my grandpa died at that moment of a heart attack because the sounds reminded him of bastogne when he was fighting the Germans). After a few second I realized I might drown because my juice covered the whole floor about two inch deep, I quickly slid across pools of cum gasping for air, I stood up and finally my cum gun started to relax. My mom came into the room shocked and disgusted, she yelled at me that I must see a doctor and get my manhood shortend or even removed. We had a fight for about three hours not noticing my grandpa was awfully quiet.
The day after my grandfather's funeral, I came to the doctor's office, and told him my story. After a lengthy cock inspection, he said that I have a rare condition, which makes my cock grow exponentially with each year, width and length. He calculated that my cock would weigh 200 kg when I turn 30, which is about the maximum weight my spine can support, beyond that and it would fracture and I'll die. I asked him if I could remove it, but he said no because I would die of blood loss. He also said I need to do blood transfusions everyday to feed my absolute unit of a scholng the blood it needs. Needless to say I was devestated, my once blessing, became a curse, again.
One day when I was 16, I was in my math class when I heard a terrible noise, it reminded me of the first time I was beating my meat, but it turns out it was just a gunshot. Kids all around me where shouting that there was a school shooter. I immediately got up and ran to the door, carrying my pack with my hands. Suddenly I heard shots very close to my ears, and saw dead bodies on the ground, so I ran into the closest door which was the janitor's room, closed the door and hid under the table making as little noise as possible. Little did I know, my crush was under the same table, hiding there in fear, when she saw me she almost screamed, but I put my hand over her mouth and told her to be quiet. I heard the shooter opening the door slowly and looking for me. I was completely silent, but then I noticed my crush's incredible bajongas, and I felt my cock starting to throb and expand. She seemed to notice, and I could see that she was impressed with my goofy goober. Her facial expression made my ding dong enlarge even more and I could feel my pants starting to tear apart. My shclong abong seemed to send electro-magnetic waves all over the room because the light above us started to flicker with every throb of my cock. The shooter noticed that and walked to our table. I knew I had to do something quickly or me, my crush, and my beaver basher would all die. Then it hit me, and I knew what I had to do. I looked over to my crush, and I started playing with her milkers. At first she was trying to resist, but then she figured out what I was trying to do and played along. My cock grew more and more, and when I felt it about to burst out of my pants. I got up and looked straight at the shooter. He hesitated for a single moment, which cost him his life. My pants exploded as my sexcalibur shot out a single hardened white cum shaped like a 7.62 mm sniper bullet right into the shooter's head. I was about to celebrate but then I noticed the smell of smoke in the air, turns out my massive cock shot not only the shooter, but also a gas pipe that was in the vicinity. Fire was all around us, as I held my crush close, I knew there was no way both of us would get out of there, so there was only one option. "Get in!" I said. "What?" She asked. "Get in! There is no time!" I said and pointed to my foreskin. She climbed inside the pocket between my foreskin and my cock. And I started running, breathing smoke and caughing, kicking doors and running through hallways, longing for fresh air. Finally I got out of the school, and I saw everyone looking at me and my dong. I slowly walked to the benches, and sat down to breath. Then I saw my crush's mother, and she asked me where her daughter is. I got up, and said "I know where she is!". I pulled my foreskin and there she was. I expected to hear claps and cheers, but when I didn't, I looked at my crush and saw she was dead. Turns out she suffocated inside my yogurt hose. The police arrested me, and here I am, with my massive schlong and 15 years in prison.
If your penis is small, do not despair, for at least you did not have to go through what I did. Farewell.
Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank dvd. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the dvd, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken dvd over and realized that it was not a blank dvd, but a copy of the movie UP. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
Every. Single. Day.
Ever since I was twelve years old and in seventh grade. My bully, who I will call Brad, tormented me, and the rest of my seventh grade class. Brad was an intimidating, 6'2", bulky, black dude who had been held back three grades. Even though he was unpopular, no amount of wedgies and swirlies would fill any of us with enough vengeance to cross him. Even the teachers made an exception to their "maintain a 70% average to play sports" rule so that he could play on the football team. And we absolutely demolished other schools when it came to football.
We had to put up with Brad's beatings and snarky remarks for years. No one dared to stand up to him. No one except me, the week when my eleventh grade home economics class went on a field trip to the local butcher, to learn how to properly prepare meat.
After learning the basics... how to skin cows and gut chickens, we moved onto the climax of the trip. The large, rusty, electric meat grinder which sat in solitude along the back wall of the faculty. Wasting no time, the butcher explained to us how the grinder functioned, and gave a quick demonstration, making ground pork. He then gave each of us a turn. Unafraid, I went first and seamlessly fed a cut of pork into the grinder. It proceeded to spiral out the other end, without any complications.
"Good job, u/squidwardspinkdildo." The butcher told me, "But remember, be careful." He instructed, grabbing a lone sneaker which lay under the table that the grinder was situated on. He fed the sneaker into the grinder, and, despite its size, it was immediately shred into pieces. "I don't want to have any accidents today. Not again."
We all stared at him, but he offered no clarification.
The rest of us took turns grinding our meat. One by one. I made eye contact with the pretty blonde girl in my precalculus class who I used to speak to, before Brad swooped in and took her from me. She smiled at me, and I wanted to smile back, but Brad was standing just a few feet away from me.
I was sick. Tired. Infuriated. Everything good in my life, Brad had taken from me. My pencils, my homework, the love of my life, my new sneakers. All ruined. And as I felt all of my bottled anger boil up, I knew I wasn't having it this time.
The pretty girl finished her piece of meat, and Brad was next. As he leaned in to place his meat onto the entrance of the grinder, I gave him a firm shove. He was quickly pushed off balance and fed face-first into the meat grinder. I took a step back as his blood squished out around the grinder, and watched all of his innards swirl out of the exit. He didn't have time to scream. Didn't have time to process what was happening. Dumb Brad was now nothing more than a pile of ground meat. And it felt good.
Immediately, my class applauded me. Everyone clapped. The mutilated hands of Brad even looked to be clapping. No one was disgusted by the mess, we were all just too happy to see him go. I felt no remorse. For the first time in my life, I was genuinely proud of myself. My class left the butcher that day, clapping as we entered the bus. When we got back to our school and were let out, my whole town was clapping for me.
The next day, I was made President of the United States. Despite being Canadian, it turns out, standing up to the people who demean and intimidate others is just the kind of courageous act that gets recognised internationally.
I know people have been complaining about the influx of revenge fantasies on this sub. I assure you all that every detail in this story is 100% not fabricated.
