Hey everyone,
So, I've been doing a lot of thinking and planning about my future career, and after countless hours of research and introspection, I've come to a decision that I feel really good about: I want to work at Google. It's like, they've got everything. The cool offices, amazing projects, and free snacks!!!! ffs!
Now, here's the thing. We all know how competitive it is to get a job at Google. I mean, they only have so many spots, and I really, really want one of them. I'm not that good at coding, so, I've come up with a strategy that I think is going to help me out, and I need your cooperation.
This might sound a bit unconventional, but hear me out. I'm kindly requesting, for the sake of my career aspirations, that everyone here on r/csmajors please refrain from applying to Google this year. Just for this year. Think of it as a personal favor to a fellow CS major who has their heart set.
I know we're all striving to make it big in the tech world, but if you could please consider other companies for your applications this year, that would be great. There are plenty of other amazing tech companies out there! Microsoft, Amazon, Facebook – the list goes on. Google is just one of many.
I appreciate your understanding and cooperation in this matter. It's not every day that someone gets a shot at their dream job, and with your help, I'm hoping to make my dream a reality. Let's all support each other's aspirations, starting with not applying to Google. Just for this year, please and thank you!
Sincerely, A Future Googler
University version
Hey everyone,
So, I've been doing a lot of thinking and planning about my future career, and after countless hours of research and introspection, I've come to a decision that I feel really good about: I want a to enter a University. It's like, they've got everything. The money, the work, and a purpose in life!!!! ffs!
Now, here's the thing. We all know how competitive it is to get into a good University. I mean, there's only so many spots, and I really, really want one of them. I'm not that good at being smart, so, I've come up with a strategy that I think is going to help me out, and I need your cooperation.
This might sound a bit unconventional, but hear me out. I'm kindly requesting, for the sake of my academic aspirations, that everyone here on r/csmajors please refrain from applying to universities this year. Just for this year. Think of it as a personal favor to a fellow CS major who has their heart set.
I know we're all striving to make it big in the tech world, but if you could please consider self studying this year, that would be great. There is a plenty of material out there! YouTube, libraries, internet the list goes on. Universities are just one of many.
I appreciate your understanding and cooperation in this matter. It's not every day that someone gets a shot at their dream university, and with your help, I'm hoping to make my dream a reality. Let's all support each other's aspirations, starting with not going to universities. Just for this year, please and thank you!
Sincerely, A Future Student
The ‘You have been reported. I am a Volunteer Reddit moderator’ is an old classic copypasta that started in Reddit around 2018. It is often used as satire on Redditors who thinks that they are above others and hold significant power online similar to Discord moderators
You have been reported.
I am not a bot. I am a Volunteer Reddit moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in under 24 hours. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all
• I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge.
Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you’ll be seeing a lot of it.
My roommate keeps fucking his bed. How do I approach this?
I honestly don’t know how else to put it.
So for context, my roommate warned me that he “sometimes sleeptalked” at night, but I had gotten extremely unlucky with my first two roommates… they were absolutely terrible. Inconsiderate, spoiled, and disgusting. Therefore, a clean, tidy, hygienic roommate sounded great and I thought that a little sleeptalking wouldn’t hurt anyone.
The sleeptalking I can handle. The sleepfucking, on the other hand, I cannot handle. For clarification, the “sleeptalking” went from a few mumbles and groans (the first month) to nightly violent spring squeaking coming across the room.
This man will literally be pounding his mattress at 4 in the morning (it’s currently 4:30 and he’s just woken me up after rawdogging his mattress again). It got to the point where I had to use earplugs to sleep… but that caused me to miss my alarm and therefore, a class.
The other disturbing part is that he calls out names. He is currently single, and unfortunately, we have the same friend group. So occasionally, I’ll hear one of their names moaned out in the middle of the night. Here’s what woke me up half an hour ago.
squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak “uuuunghhhhhh Lauren” squeak squeak “oh fuck yeah” squeak
It only stops when 1: he climaxes. 2: he fucks the bed so violently that he bounces his himself up the bed and hits his head on the wall.
I have no idea how to approach this with him, since he’s very shy and tends to avoid/get quiet when there are sexual discussions (when he’s awake, at least.) I wouldn’t want to make it awkward, but I can’t deal with him waking me up all the time. How should I approach this?
Hey OP please stop replying to your own post. It's seen by karma farming by most of experienced Redditors and we definitely won't hesitate to down-vote your comments. Don't you think the karma points you've gained from the post itself are enough? There's no need to extend your metaphorical limb down the karma jar and pick up as much karma points as you can by clugging-up the whole comment section with your replies. I'll give you 10 minutes to delete the comments. When I come back I will down-vote them if they have not been removed.
Edit: Guys, you are down-voting the wrong person.
-Opening
Who are we?? REDDIT NATION!! What do we want?? NNO MORE TIKTOK AND INSTAGRAM!! When do we want it?? NOW!
-Chorus starts
Reddit nation yeah we are Together we can go very far Take down tik tok Take down instagram Take down everything we dont give a damn That’s because reddit nation will rise up Yeah we never will give up
We the reddit army We hoard the enemy like a skarmy (clash royale sound effect) We cant be taken down Yeah you cant make us frown When tiktok sees our army Im sure their pants will brown
I was sitting an exam like an hour ago and this guy walks in with tight jeans and an absolute dump truck of a man-ass.
Honestly the dude was jiggly and cakey and it fr made me stare. He caught me staring at him and came up to me to ask me why I was staring at him.
Thankfully, he didn't know I was looking at his ass. He was one of those macho men who thought I was stirring up trouble.
Now, I could have de-escalated the situation by simply saying that I got lost in thought or sth.
Nope. I had to pull a certified Wordington moment. I said without even thinking about it "nah man you just double checked up".
He looks at me weird and says nothing, just makes a confused face.
I say then "you got a thug shaker homie"
Then, in the worst English I have ever heard he says "I do not England".
Mf couldn't speak English (makes sense, few people can where I'm from), so NOW after I realized my blunder, I get a chance to redemption. I can play it off as me being normal!
HA! NOPE!
I change to my native tongue and say "you have a fat ass".
And he punched me.
Fuck you guys you ruined my brain with your gay ah ah posts.
