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reddit copypasta


How to piss off as many Redditors as possible

    🤠🤪🙂😔😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😂☺️☺️😂😜😙😙🙃😋😋😚😇😂☺️😉😍😚🤨😏🥳😟😕😞😎🤓🤓😛😘😗😝😕🙁😟😟😳😨🤬🤗🤭🤭😪🤤🥴🤢😽🙀😻😾😽👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌lol xD!!! UwU r/whoosh normie LOLS

I know how to control the karma, but im not saying :)

I'TS MY CAKE DAY! Can I get an upvote? 🤞😂

R/foundthemobileuser 😂😂😂 fucking mobile users with capital letters LMAO

Instagram is better than reddit and fortnite is better than minecraft. EA good, Hong Kong bad, China good.

Reddit is stealing everything from 9GAG and Facebook :/

God EXISTS, and his plan is unknown!

Old Star Wars? Pff that thing SUCKS! New Star Wars gang rise up! Disney is amazing 😩😩

"Weed" and "vaping" should be BANNED!

TRUMP 2020!

Keanu Reever SUCKS!!!

EDIT: OH ME GOOSH DIDNT EXPECT SO MUCH LOVE THANK YOUU

EDIT 2: WOAH SILVER HOLY RHIS IS TAKING OFF THANK YOU

EDIT 3: GOLD!?!?!? YALLS TOO NICE

EDIT 4: THANK YOU KIND STRANGERS

EDIT 5: OMG RIP MY INBOX

    I can never win in regards to sex with my gf

      Poor guy
      I can never win in regards to sex with my gf. She gets annoyed that I’m good looking but bad in the bedroom. Iv never been a laster under the sheets and she hates me for it. If I cream in 1 minute, I’m a loser, on the very rear occasion I last longer than two minutes she accuses me of having sex with someone else first. My ejaculation are very powerful and she complains it goes everywhere. Sometimes it’ll be a small spurt and a dribble and once again I’m accused of getting somewhere else in the same day. She moans loudly during sex and if I let off a groan when I orgasm she tells me to shut up. She then tells me she’s doesn’t want to have sex with me because I cum to fast. Then gets angry with me when I don’t ask to have sex. I can’t win.

      TIFU by almost fucking my sister but noticing something suspicious

        Please make it stop. Everywhere I go I can't stop seeing it.
        I've been in love with my sister for a long time, and today, something really interesting happened. Over the past few years, my sister and I have been hanging out a lot more and I developed a crush on her.

Today, we were just hanging out in a restaurant and things were getting really flirtatious. We could tell that we wanted each other and agreed to go back home to her bedroom. Apparently, she always had a crush on me as well.

When we arrived, she took off her pants. Her panties looked so sexy on her, I got rock hard immediately and took off my pants, my erection in full view of her. It was one of the hottest things I've done in my life. But then she took off her jacket. This is where the interesting stuff happens.

I noticed that she was wearing a shirt of the Champion brand, and if you flip the logo sideways, it sort of looks like a crewmate from the popular game, "Among Us" Immediately, my brain acted on it's own. I'm not sure what happened, but I couldn't stop it. With my hard cock fully visible, I screamed, "SUS!!!! SUS!!!!!!! AMONG US AMONG US!!!!!!!!!"

I couldn't believe what I had just said. My sister looked confused and startled. She asked if I was okay and I wanted to say yes, but my brain didn't listen. I yelled, "HOLY SHIT YOU'RE ACTING SUS WHY YOU ACTING SUS HOLY SHIT AMONG US AMONG US" My sister had terror in her eyes. She was terrified of me. But I couldn't stop.

I lunged at her. "YOU'RE SUS YOU NEED TO GET VOTED OUT WHY ARE YOU ACTING SUSSSSSS YOU'RE THE IMPOSTOR!!!!!!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. With all her strength, she escaped my grasp and left the room. I yelled. "YOU'RE ACTING SUS RUNNING AWAY IS SUS ARE YOU GOING TO VENT? VENTING IS REALLY SUS YOU NEED TO BE VOTED OUT!!!!"

I chased after her but eventually she locked herself in the bathroom and I could hear her talking to what I think was 911. It's been 10 minutes and the cops are currently on the way. Any advice would be nice.

        What a beautiful day for cooming to TIFU posts

          Your average TIFU redditor
          (Wakes up) The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming to TIFU posts. Good morning Reddit, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hop on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a NSFW tag?? HMMGH, I-I MUST UPVOTE, GOOD SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, UPVOTE, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt.

          TIFU by having sex with my dominant girlfriend

            TIFU is an internet slang term that stands for “Today I F***ed Up.”
            first off, im a bisexual female.

I fucked up by doing something a little awkward while having sex. the fuck up is actually making up a story so horny redditors can have a wank over something which never happened. PLEASE, give me expensive reddit awards so i can browse reddit without having to deal with those stupid ads.

TL;DR: the tl dr is basically just a pun which is even more misleading than the title.