reddit copypasta

Post that makes Americans get shot by a SWAT team if they read it

Parody of the Tiananmen Square copypasta but Americanized version.

North Dakota Access Pipeline Protests 北达科他州接入管道抗议 Ferguson Riots 弗格森暴动 2017 St. Louis protests2017年圣路易斯抗议活动 Nuclear testing at Bikini Atoll 比基尼环礁的核试验 Unite the Right rally 团结右集会 Charlotte riots 夏洛特暴动 Attack on the Sui-ho Dam 袭击穗河水坝 Milwaukee riots 密尔沃基骚乱 Shooting of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile 奥尔顿·斯特林和菲兰多·卡斯蒂利亚的射击 Occupation of the Malheur NationalWildlife Refuge Malheur国家野生动物保护区的占领 death of Freddie Gray 弗雷迪·格雷的死 Shooting of Michael Brown迈克尔·布朗的拍摄 death of Eric Garner, Oakland California 奥克兰奥克兰市埃里克·加纳（Eric Garner）逝世 Operation Condor 神鹰行动 Occupy WallStreet 占领华尔街 My Lai Massacre 我的大屠杀 St. Petersburg, Florida 佛罗里达州圣彼得堡 Kandahar Massacre 坎大哈屠杀 1992Washington Heights riots 1992年华盛顿高地暴动 No Gun Ri Massacre 无枪杀案 L.A. Rodney King riots 洛杉矶罗德尼·金暴动 1979 Greensboro Massacre 1979年格林斯伯勒大屠杀 Vietnam War 越南战争 Kent State shootings肯特州枪击案 Bombing of Tokyo 轰炸东京 San Francisco Police Department Park Station bombing 旧金山警察局公园站爆炸案 Assassination of MartinLuther King, Jr. 小马丁·路德·金遭暗杀。 Long Hot Summer of 1967 1967年炎热的夏天 Bagram 巴格拉姆 Selma to Montgomery marches 塞尔玛到蒙哥马利游行 Highway of Death 死亡之路 Ax Handle Saturday 星期六斧头 Battle of Evarts 埃瓦茨战役 Battle ofBlair Mountain 布莱尔山战役 McCarthyism 麦卡锡主义 Red Summer 红色夏天 Rock Springs massacre 岩泉大屠杀 Pottawatomie massacre 盆大屠杀 Jeju uprising 济州起义 Colfaxmassacre 科尔法克斯大屠杀 Reading Railroad massacre 阅读铁路大屠杀 Rock Springs massacre 岩泉大屠杀 Bay viewMassacre 湾景大屠杀 Lattimer massacre 拉蒂默大屠杀 Ludlow massacre 拉德洛屠杀 Everett massacre 埃弗里特屠杀Centralia Massacre 中部大屠杀 Ocoee massacre Ocoee大屠杀 Herrin Massacre 赫林大屠杀 Redwood Massacre红木大屠杀 Columbine Mine Massacre 哥伦拜恩矿难 Guantanamo Bay 关塔那摩湾 extraordinary rendition 非凡的演绎 Abu Ghraib torture and prison abuse 阿布格莱布的酷刑和监狱虐待 Henry Kissinger 亨利·基辛格

North Dakota Access Pipeline Protests 北达科他州接入管道抗议 Ferguson Riots 弗格森暴动 2017 St. Louis protests 2017年圣路易斯抗议活动 Project 4.1 項目4.1 Nuclear testing at Bikini Atoll 比基尼环礁的核试验 Unite the Right rally 团结右集会 Charlotte riots 夏洛特暴动 Indonesian genocide 印度尼西亚大屠杀 Attack on the Sui-ho Dam 袭击穗河水坝 Milwaukee riots 密尔沃基骚乱 Shooting of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile 奥尔顿·斯特林和菲兰多·卡斯蒂利亚的射击 Occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge Malheur国家野生动物保护区的占领 death of Freddie Gray 弗雷迪·格雷的死 Shooting of Michael Brown 迈克尔·布朗的拍摄 Death of Eric Garner, Oakland California 奥克兰奥克兰市埃里克·加纳（Eric Garner）逝世 Operation Condor 神鹰行动 Occupy WallStreet 占领华尔街 NSA totalitarian surveillance state 美國國家安全局極權監視 My Lai Massacre 我的大屠杀 St. Petersburg, Florida 佛罗里达州圣彼得堡 Kandahar Massacre 坎大哈屠杀 1992 Washington Heights riots 1992年华盛顿高地暴动 No Gun Ri Massacre 无枪杀案 L.A. Rodney King riots 洛杉矶罗德尼·金暴动 1979 Greensboro Massacre 1979年格林斯伯勒大屠杀 Project MKUltra MKUltra计划 Vietnam War 越南战争 Korean War genocide 韓戰平民傷亡 Kent State shootings 肯特州枪击案 Support of Hissene Habre 支持侯賽因·哈布雷 Gadaffi murder 卡扎菲被謀殺 Bombing of Tokyo 轰炸东京 Bombing of Laos 轟炸寮國 Bombing of Cambodia 轟炸柬埔寨 Operation Menu 操作選單 Operation Freedom Deal 自由交易行動 Phoenix Program 鳳凰計劃 Bodo League Massacre 保導聯盟事件 San Francisco Police Department Park Station bombing 旧金山警察局公园站爆炸案 Operation Yellowbird 黃雀行動 Assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. 小马丁·路德·金遭暗杀。 Long Hot Summer of 1967 1967年炎热的夏天 Bagram 巴格拉姆 Selma to Montgomery marches 塞尔玛到蒙哥马利游行 Highway of Death 死亡之路 Ax Handle Saturday 星期六斧头 Battle of Evarts 埃瓦茨战役 Battle of Blair Mountain 布莱尔山战役 McCarthyism 麦卡锡主义 Operation Paperclip 回纹针行动 largest prison population in the world 世界上監獄人數最多 Red Summer 红色夏天 Rock Springs massacre 岩泉大屠杀 Pottawatomie massacre 盆大屠杀 Jeju uprising 济州起义 Colfax Massacre 科尔法克斯大屠杀 Massacre of Cernis 卡瓦莱斯缆车事故 Reading Railroad Massacre 阅读铁路大屠杀 Operation LAC LAC行動 Rock Springs massacre 岩泉大屠杀 Bay View Massacre 湾景大屠杀 Cascadia movement 卡斯卡迪亚 Lattimer massacre 拉蒂默大屠杀 Ludlow massacre 拉德洛屠杀 Everett massacre 埃弗里特屠杀 Centralia Massacre 中部大屠杀 Ocoee massacre Ocoee大屠杀 Operation Gladio 格拉迪奥行动 USA PATRIOT Act 美國愛國者法案 Herrin Massacre 赫林大屠杀 Project Mockingbird 知更鳥計劃 Redwood Massacre 红木大屠杀 Columbine Mine Massacre 哥伦拜恩矿难 Guantanamo Bay 关塔那摩湾 Operation Sea-Spray 海洋飞沫行动 extraordinary rendition 非凡的演绎 COINTELPRO 反情報計劃 Gulf of Tonkin incident 東京灣事件 Operation Bloodstone 雞血石行動 Mukaradeeb Wedding massacre 穆卡拉迪布婚禮派對大屠殺 Mahmudiyah rape and killings 伊拉克馬赫穆迪亞美軍姦殺事件 Nisour Square massacre 黑水公司巴格達槍擊案 Abu Ghraib torture and prison abuse 阿布格莱布的酷刑和监狱虐待 Nayirah Testimony 奈伊拉證詞 Henry Kissinger 亨利·基辛格 Palestinian genocide 以色列 加薩種族滅絕 Color Revolutions 颜色革命 Operation Wetback 濕背行動 Tuskegee Human Experimentation 塔斯基吉梅毒試驗 Forced Sterilization of Immigrants at ICE concentration camps 美國移民及海關執法局 (ICE) 拘留中心的強制絕育 Operation Whitecoat 白衣行動 Iraq Body Count 伊拉克死亡人數統計 Hawaii 夏威夷州 Operation Deliberate Force 慎重武力行动 Destruction of Yugoslavia 南斯拉夫的毀滅 US bombing of the Chinese embassy in Belgrade 美国轰炸中国驻南联盟大使馆事件 Dixieland 迪克西 State of Deseret 德撒律州 Aztlán Movement 阿茲特蘭 Coup against Kwame Nkrumah 夸梅·恩克魯瑪政變 Operation Top Hat 高帽行動 Haditha Massacre 哈迪塞屠杀事件 Imprisonment of Nelson Mandela 納爾遜·曼德拉入獄 Operation CHAOS CHAOS行動 Project MERRIMAC MERRIMAC專案 Vault 7 避難所7 PRISM Program 稜鏡計畫 William Binney 威廉賓尼 Edward Snowden 愛德華斯諾登 Chelsea Manning 切爾西·曼寧 Aaron Swartz 亚伦·斯沃茨 Julian Assange 朱利安·阿桑奇 CIA/NED funding of regime change groups CIA/NED為政權更迭行動提供資金 Human Rights 民運 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Epstein Island 愛潑斯坦島 Military-Industrial-Congressional Complex (MICC) 也称军事工业国会复合体 Operation Earnest Voice 熱心行動 ChinaAngVirus Disinformation Campaign ChinaAngVirus 假訊息活動 Killing Hope 扼殺希望 Manufacturing Consent 製造共識 Red Scare propaganda 红色恐慌

Reddit, am I the arsehole?

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?

I played the Soviet Union anthem in class today and no one laughed

I gotta share this weird thing that happened in class today. I had this hilarious idea to play the Soviet Union anthem at full volume during our history class. But guess what? No one even cracked a smile. It was like a ghost town in there.

I truely don't get it. Personally I thought the timing was genius because we were covering the Cold War and stuff. But now I'm left wondering what went wrong and why nobody thought it was funny.

I understand that comedy is subjective and not everyone is into this dark/edgy type of humor but it was honestly mind-boggling to see how nobody seemed to understand the punchline.

My boyfriend won’t stop saying “ambatukam” during sex and I don’t have the heart to tell him I hate it

Throwaway since my BF knows my Reddit account. One evening, me (F22) and my boyfriend (M21) were watching memes on YouTube from his phone, something we frequently do together. He REALLY likes memes and quotes them often throughout the day, no matter whether he is happy or being goofy and even when he is raging at a game or genuinely heartbroken. One day about a year ago, he came home to tell me he got fired and said "my life be like oooh aaah". It's probably a coping mechanism for him, but personally I do not understand it.

Anyways, we saw one meme, a guy a clearly masturbating saying things "I'm about to cum" but it was spelt out as "ambatukam", and thought it was the funniest thing ever so we looked for more. There were more videos of him being edited into scenarios like him mourning the loss of his brother named "Bato Khan", and we spent no less than 20 minutes laughing nonstop at these videos. Afterwards when we went to make dinner, my BF said joking "that's what I'm gonna say in bed now".

Fast forward a day later, both of us are horny and head to the bedroom to fuck. It was great, but then towards the end, my BF said loudly "ambatukaaaam" and then proceeded to cum. I laughed along with him but I was a little uncomfortable because it sorta killed the vibe.

About a week later, we're having sex again, and he says them same exact thing as last time, but this time, he laughs "just kidding, I'll stop" afterwards. Well, it turns out he wasn't really telling the truth because the next time we had sex, he said "bouttobus". I then whining-ly said his name in desperation and he then chuckled.

We didn't have sex for about a month until last night. We were doing fine as usual, and he even managed to cum without saying any memes... or so I thought, because right afterwards, he said something along the lines of "thank you for letting me buss, it's what I needed". I can't even remember much of what happened during or after that because I was in pure shock that we would just kill the vibe like that again. All I remember is that we cleaned up and he went to play COD or something that involved him shouting stupid jokes and memes to his friends.

I do not have the heart to tell him that he isn't funny when he does this, because the last time I confronted him when he kept saying "yooo that's sus" every time I mentioned something vaguely sexual, he almost cried. He stopped saying that one phrase but still has about a thousand other memes in his vocabulary. I guess this is just my life now, and as much as I want it to stop, I love my boyfriend so much and will have to live with it.

Women of reddit

WOMEN OF REDDIT,

How much sex do you have? What I am wondering if do you have sexy sex? As a fellow epic reddito I would like to inquire a question on perhaps the idea that perhaps maybe you enjoy sexual intercourse of the boob variety with fellow epic redditors that also like sex with big boobs?????

Also epic women of Reddit, how much epic sex do you have with boobs of Reddit? Women do you Women of Reddit? How many Big Chungus sex do you have women of Reddit? Women of Reddit, are you also Women? Perhaps maybe even have sex with other women and women of Reddit?

Also, fellow women of reddit do you have giant milkers?????? Big jiggly milkies? Fat mommy milky mocha momos? Excuse my up frontness. Please answer why or why not or maybe big boobs? Spaghetti?

Women of the internet website known as Reddit .com, what do you find attractive in men that are also me? Would you give me a blowjob, women of Reddit? Reddit, would you have sex with me? Women what is your favorite blowjob position? Men of Reddit, do you like getting blowjobs? Why or why not?

Women of Reddit, do you have BIG BOOBS???? Women of Reddit will you have sex with men that have big boobs? Why or why not or why yes? Women that are women of Reddit, if given a chance to use your ENORMOUS BIG BOBOS to have sex with men of reddit, would you? Perhaps maybe even have sex?

Sexy women of Reddit, is this an epic reddit women moment? Would you have sex if you were given the chance to have sex? And what if the snail was locked in a box under the ocean, but if the snail touches you you die but also have sex?? you were given a million dollars to have sex with me?? Reddit of Reddit, would you have sex with the decoy snail that is also boobs???

Women with three million dollars, if you were given a super power to have sex with me would you have sex with epic reddit? Women with giant jugs of Reddit, if you were given a billion dollars and also a ham sandwich, would you have sex with me and fellow epic women of Reddit?? What villain was actually the hero of the story?

Men of Reddit, if you were given a billion dollars would you get a blowjob from a woman with big boobs that is of Reddit? What if I choose to also have sex with this guy's dead wife that also has big dead boobs? Why? Women are boobs.

What villain actually had huge boobs and was a woman? Men of Reddit would you be a women of Reddit? Women of Reddit, will you be??? Fellow women of reddit

women

Women of reddit(18F) , what is the most sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexies(47F)t sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexu(28F)al sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual (56M)sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexie(45m)st sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual

Thing you have ever done to an antisocial 36 year old man living with his parents and spends 16 hours a day browsing reddit?

Edit: Thank you for the gold kind stranger!

Coital Dominance

I wish females would ascertain their coital dominance on my only slightly higher than average fat content (463 lbs) of a body. Any redditor kitten females up for the challenge? 😉😘😘😜