I (M49) beat my wife (F14) the other day when she said Big Chungus wasn't that funny. I was watching big Chungus porn on reddit (wholesome 100) when my wife came in, begging to be released from my basement. I laughed in her face and told her no. Then I kept fapping to Chungus porn. She asked what I was watching, and I was in shock. How could this bitch not know what Big Chungus is? I got out the drawing board and explained all about Chungus lore. I showed her some Big Chungus memes and I started laughing hysterically at them. She looked weirded out and said Big Chungus wasn't that funny. Shock came over me. What was this bitch saying? I quickly lunged at her, impaling my fist into her face, breaking her nose and eye sockets. She screamed and howled in pain and cried. I kept beating her and yelling that Big Chungus was funny and if she didn't laugh at it I'd torture her in my dungeon. She screamed and cried until I knocked her out. I tied her to a chair in a soundproof room and locked the door. Now I sit here wondering, am I the asshole for doing that?
I'm (14M) really straight and I've always wanted to befriend females, but the problem with females is that they are annoying and manipulative, they cry all the time and say that you're not good enough while they do nothing to improve themselves. I think men are much more better than females and that we should handle things. We're prettier and more talented and stronger and a lot smarter than them and we don't let emotions take over us. I was talking about this one day with my friend (15F) who thinks exactly like me and he agreed with me that men are the best and then he took off my pants and told me my penis is praiseworthy for a man. I did the same thing to him and then he asked me if I want to feel in my mouth how manly he is so I did it and we switched the roles. It was amazing to see how strong men are together and how much better we are than females. It should be noted that I am a homophobe and what we did wasn't homosexual but was men's empowerment. Am I the asshole?
Title pretty much says it all. What do you good bros of reddit think - AITA?
She (25 f) is being very ungrateful and hostile even though I (29 M) am letting her live with me RENT FREE since she lost her job. She worked with me at the Verizon store but has since then started doing cam work, reading feminist literature, and following religious blogs. She's also on Instagram a lot, and I saw her watching Gilmore Girls on her iphone XR the other day. I think one or all of these media are influencing her to feel entitled even though I'm letting her stay here stay RENT FREE.
Edit 1: Thanks for the gold kind stranger!
Edit 2: Wow 10k updoots. This is my highest updooted post now.
Edit 3: Thanks guys. I can't see what I did wrong either. She's just really entitled, I think.
Edit 4: A few of you asked for a bit more context. NO, there is no "intermediate cause and effect sequence" between when I allowed her to stay vs when she became ungrateful. I let her live with me RENT FREE, she started watching Gilmore Girls, and now she's claiming I'm the asshole. There's nothing else to say.
Edit 6: Thanks for the platinum kind stranger!
Edit 7: No, I didn't ask why she's upset. I'm letting her live with me RENT FREE and I don't owe her anything.. She's just entitled as many younger women are.
Edit 8: No, nothing could have "set her off" or "alarmed" her. I'm really quiet and she's a heavy sleeper.
Edit 9: Bros I don't know what to do she's leaving oh god.
Edit 10: Sorry, the last edit should have been Edit 9.
Edit 11: Wait I forgot I could change the edit numbers in an edit.
Edit 12: Ignore the last two edits.
Edit 13: Wait ignore that last edit and this one too.
Edit 14: I tried telling her Reddit said I'm not the asshole she's still going away bros this is so scary.
Edit 15: Okay so AGAIN, she's a really heavy sleeper so I don’t know what could have triggered her :( Only thing that comes to mind is about a week ago when I asked if I could sniff her asshole after she relieved herself, but nothing that would explain why she'd be ungrateful since I'm letting her live here RENT FREE.
Edit 16: wow 20K updoots
I (22M, big dick, dropshipping got me an 8 figure salary, fucking hate cats) recently allowed my cousin Jennifer (30F, breeder, ultra religious, unmarried) to move in with me after she was temporarily laid off (Starbucks).
This morning after I rolled out of bed and kissed my gf and her sister (25F, twins, DDD tits that I paid for, I like the sister more), I asked my chef Lucas (idk M, hot, gay) to whip up some eggs for us (scrambled, shredded cheese on top) and we were called to breakfast when it was ready (7:30am EST). My cousin trudged down the stairs and slopped her child-bearing belly baking her future crotch goblin onto the counter (Calcutta marble) as she sat down (I think I heard my Bistro 31” Swivel Bar Stool crack, should I sue?)
I politely asked if she was hungry, to which she snorted, licked her chops, and practically came as she said yes. Lucas scooped a couple spoonfuls of egg onto her plate (Le Frenchies Dessert Plates, gift from daddy) and poured her a hot cup of coffee (Haviland Brandenburg Gold Tea Set from Neiman Marcus, also a gift from daddy). She shoveled the eggs into her cakehole and asked who made breakfast while she waddled over to the pan (nonstick) to get more. I replied “Lucas”, to which she immediately started SCREECHING like a fucking banshee about how she didn’t want a insert bad word for gay touching her food. I grabbed a cup of water (Brita filtered) and used it to douse the fiery demon spewing hatred in my kitchen and immediately kicked her out.
My phone (iPhone 12 Pro Max, got it early) has been blowing up all day. AITA? :/
Edit: wow this blew up, don’t upvote Jennifer might see it, also the baby is mine, incest karma please?
I'd like to preface this by saying that it was in NO WAY my fault. The ground was slippery, and the railing on that bridge are too short. Anyways, what happened was while I was crossing a bridge, a family asked if I could take a group photo for them. I leaned back against the railing to fit them all in the frame, but I must of went too far back because I lost my balance and fell into the river! I'm not really good at swimming, so the best I could do was tread water as the current carried me down the river. Luckily, the city had just bought a new rescue helicopter and they were able to prepare the lifeline, lower the stretcher, and make the rescue. My wife is mad for "ruining our vacation" and a man from the fire department scolded me for "wasting first responder resources with my carelessness." It's not like I WANTED to fall into the river, and besides, isn't that what they are there for? AITA?
I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not.
When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids?
Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around.
She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money.
What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says “I kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me.
The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife?
Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.
