reddit aita copypasta

AITA For quoting Morbius?

I went to a bar last week and saw this total morbette. I immediately morbed a little in my pants and decided to put my morb where my mouth is. I went up and sat my Morbussy on the stool next to her, and asked her if I knew her. Nah, you're too pretty. I'd remember your face. Tequila to remember, whiskey to forget. She was instantly morbing out her panties at the mere thought of morbing out with me. Then some anti-morber jerkop came up and said "Are you fucking quoting Morbius (2022) to pick up girls?" I panicked. I said "Would you like some whiskey, my friend?" and he started assaulting me. I morbed the hell out and morbed all over that guy and am now in federal prison for "Murder". Don't those detectives know it was a morbius reference? All in all, AITA?

I (20M) agreed to let my girlfriend (21F) poop on me to satisfy one of her fetishes, but she didn’t tell me she was going to have diarrhea.

I agreed to let my girlfriend poop on me

My girlfriend opened up to me a while back about a kink of hers, which, as you can see, involves shitting on people. Obviously I was very taken aback by this, and eventually the conversation led to her basically asking me if I would be willing to do it. At first I said “absolutely not.” But then after more talking, I decided that, despite the fact that the idea of doing this made me feel like my skin was going to turn inside out, I was willing to provide the woman I love with this experience just one time, since according to her nobody else had ever agreed to it. Of course, she was very excited, so we picked a day to do it and that was that.

Fast forward to last night. I’m laying in the bathtub, holding my breath, and she squats right above my body. I expected to feel some warm logs of human feces plop firmly onto my chest. Instead I got my entire body sprayed down by hot diarrhea. I have never seen her orgasm that quickly or intensely. Her whole body immediately began shaking and she had to grip the walls of the shower to keep herself upright as she kept going. The spray got all over my face and in my hair too. It was the most horrifying thing that’s ever happened to me.

I started screaming and she asked me what was wrong. I told her that I didn’t say she could have fucking diarrhea on me. I started throwing up in the bathtub and immediately turned on the shower head. She said she didn’t know it would come out like that but later after some intense arguing she admitted that she knew and did it anyway because she didn’t think there was a difference. I told her that there’s a big fucking difference. She thinks I’m overreacting but I honestly don’t think so. We haven’t talked much since because things are extremely awkward.

I guess my question is, what should I do now? I still really care about her but this feels like a violation. Can we have a normal sex life again? Any help is appreciated

AITA for saving a child from a dangerous situation?

I know this sounds bad, but hear me out.

Earlier this month, I was walking home from the store as usual. I began smelling a feint burning smell and I heard muffled shouting ahead. I picked up the pace to discover the commotion. A building was on fire and a small child was standing by the second story window shrieking for help as flames rose behind him. Luckily, I had been doing parkour ever since I was a teen so I climbed up to his window and reached out to grab the child. He reached out for me as well and I hoisted him down on my back. When we reached the ground the child ran to his parents and they thanked me while hugging him.

Later today I was visiting a friend in prison who happens to be serving a sentence for attempted murder of many children. He said I was an asshole and I shouldn’t have saved the kid from the burning building. Ever since, I can’t help but feel like kind of an asshole so I would appreciate to hear a third persons perspective on this. So reddit, AITA?

AITA for pooping in my friend’s shower and blaming her dog

Last weekend I (16M) visited a friend of mine (17F) for a sleepover. I asked if I could shower because I wasn't feeling so fresh. She let me and I stepped in. I was flatulent so I farted, but gas wasn't all that came out. I must admit that I do this on purpose when I'm home but I've never done it at a friend's house. I was really embarrassed so I just stomped most of it down the drain. Some splattered over the wall though and the shower was not handheld, so I decided to leave it and hope for the best. I cleaned myself and put on some clothes and pretended like nothing happened. The next day her mother decided to take a shower and saw the mess. She was LIVID, screaming at my friend for the mess she'd made. She started crying and left the room. She returned a few minutes later and she had a look of death. I panicked, and we argued. I decided to deny all allegations and blame her dog for the mess. She said that her dog would never projectile shit all over the shower walls, yet I kept denying it. She eventually calmed down and I left. I personally think I did nothing wrong since it wasn't even a big mess, and a dog could easily have done that. My friend won't respond to any of my texts, she's probably expecting me to apologize or something

AITA For filling my sisters shampoo bottle up with with cum, and then killing my entire family?

My (78M) sister (17F) and I have never gotten along. One day she caught me spying on her in the shower(15M), and we got into a huge fight. So I stole her shampoo bottle(16M) and jacked off to hentai(18F) as much as possible until I filled it up all the way. I put the bottles back and the next day her hair smelled like cum(78M) and she was crying. My Mom(21F) and my dad found out and started to yell at me, so with my huge 900 inch cock(78M), I cummed(2000 Gallons) all over them and then they all drowned in cum.

I am now facing life imprisonment(200 Years) but I honestly dont think I deserve it and that they are overreacting.

So, Reddit, AITA?

AITA for murdering my mom and bathing in her blood, using her entrails as bath toys, because she took away my ipad?

So, I (6m) was watching porn 😳 on my ipad 📱 when my STUPID MOM (43f) came in and saw me. She (43f) took away my ipad, and grounded me (6m) for a week. I (6m) was having none of that, though. Not long after, I (6m) realized that without my (6m) ipad, I (6m) CAN'T WATCH BELUGA!!! 😾😾😾 And I (6m) was having none of that. I (6m) was like, nuh uh uh. So, I (6m) went to the kitchen to grab a knife 🔪 , and I (6m) stabbed her (43f) 47 times in chest, 23 times in the thigh, and 2 times in the throat. After that, I (6m) cut up her (43f) body, put it inside a fridge, and I (6m) waited 3 months 📆. During that time, I survived on dust mites lol 🤣When the time ⏰ came, I (6m) took the blood 🩸 that I took from her (43f) body, and filled my (6m) bathtub with it. I (6m) hopped in, and I (6m) took her (43f) entrails from a bucket that I (6m) had previously placed them in. After that, I (6m) took her (43f) skin, and wore it like a mask. 😷I (6m) looked just like Jacksepticye!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

So, Reddit AITA?