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Explain the Bible using League of Legends terminology

    Bible in LoL Terms.

explain the Bible in league of legends terminology

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Certainly! Here's an attempt to explain the Bible using League of Legends (LoL) terminology:

The Bible can be seen as a champion's lore, describing the ancient and timeless battle between good and evil. In this analogy, the central figure of the Bible can be considered the "Summoner," representing the divine power behind the events that unfold.

Creation: In the beginning, the Summoner created the "Summoner's Rift," a vast and wondrous world. This realm was populated with various champions, each with their own unique abilities and purposes.

Fall of Man: Just as champions in the game can sometimes become corrupted, the Bible tells the story of how the first humans, Adam and Eve, succumbed to temptation and disobeyed the Summoner's commands. This led to the "Nexus" of humanity being weakened, introducing sin and suffering into the world.

The Chosen Champions: The Summoner selected certain individuals to become champions of righteousness. These "heroes of faith" include Moses, who could be compared to a support champion, guiding and leading the people of Israel towards victory.

Prophets and Messages: Throughout the ages, the Summoner sent messengers, known as "prophets," to deliver important instructions and warnings to the champions. These prophets, like Ezreal seeking hidden truths, unveiled prophecies, and unveiled the Summoner's divine plan.

The Ultimate Sacrifice: In a pivotal moment, the Summoner sent His most beloved champion, Jesus Christ, to save the world from sin. Jesus acted as the ultimate tank, willingly sacrificing Himself on the "Cross" to cleanse the Nexus of humanity from its corruption.

Resurrection and Redemption: Similar to a champion respawning after being defeated, Jesus triumphantly rose from the dead, symbolizing victory over death and offering redemption to all who believe in Him. This victory is represented by the "Pentakill," a glorious achievement in the game.

The Final Showdown: The Bible prophesies a climactic battle between good and evil, known as the "Apocalypse" or "Final Judgment." This epic encounter can be likened to a high-stakes ranked game, where champions unite in a final clash against darkness.

Eternal Victory: Ultimately, the Bible reveals that the Summoner will restore the Nexus of humanity to its original glory. The righteous champions will be rewarded with an eternal "Victory Screen," basking in the presence of the Summoner forever

    Reincarnate as a tree on Runeterra

      I wish that when i die, i could reincarnate as a tree on Runeterra, because then someone would eventually chop me down, and then i could hope that Lillia would eventually rest her tight little deer ass on me while she stops to sit down, and take a long (emphasis on long) rest

      Odoamne became what everyone feared.

        Odoamne copypasta
        Odoamne became what everyone feared. His eyelids disappeared, his head was swelling and his ears started bleeding. “Are you okay bro?” asks Comp. "I’ve never been better Markos, I see it all now, they’re not going Baron or Dragon. They’re going home."

        Next before TwitchCon, let’s talk about NA.

          Copy and paste loltyler1 Thoughts On NA Performance At Worlds
          Source
          Next before TwitchCon, let's talk about NA.

You disgust me, you disgusting pieces of shit.

Your sorry scrub, bum, paycheck stealing bitch ass motherfucking bastards couldn't win one game. Not one game.

You couldn't take home one dub bro.

Like, I get it guys. You guys make zero content. You have no brands. You do not show up anywhere. You barely get flamed by anybody except maybe on Twitter DMs, bro.

I'm live 10 hours-ish a day five days a week. I get that.

Do you understand?!?!?! I tank the harrassment 99% of the time. So, when you lose, reminder, you're losing for me. Fuck NA, you're affecting me, and at this point my lawyers are probably going to contact these teams, because they're making me look bad.

I don't have too much to say. And notice I'm not saying we, suck. I'm saying they suck. I'm not a part of NA bro. I don't care. I don't care. I disown NA. I don't care bro they're trash.

The most embarrassingly pathetic games I've seen in my life bro.

Putting up no fight at all, just rolling over. It's so cringe.

You fucking sons of bitches, it's horrible bro, it's terrible. All I pray is guys, guys, don't, listen. I was going to say don't get on the plane back home if you go 0-18, but, it's in NA. Like bro it's a fucking hour flight. You can drive a car.

So I don't even know. Don't show your faces again bro. Don't show your faces again if you go 0-18. It would be so embarrassing for me. I don't care about for you, for me I'm not kidding. I might quit streaming, not going to lie, so bear that in mind. That's that bro.
          I don't have too much to say. And notice I'm not saying we, suck. I'm saying they suck. I'm not a part of NA bro. I don't care. I don't care. I disown NA. I don't care bro they're trash.The most embarrassingly pathetic games I've seen in my life bro.Putting up no fight at all, just rolling over. It's so cringe.
          You disgust me, you disgusting pieces of s**t.Your sorry scrub, bum, paycheck stealing b**ch a** motherf***ing bast**ds couldn't win one game. Not one game.You couldn't take home one dub bro.Like, I get it guys. You guys make zero content. You have no brands. You do not show up anywhere. You barely get flamed by anybody except maybe on Twitter DMs, bro.
          Do you understand?!?!?! I tank the harrassment 99% of the time. So, when you lose, reminder, you're losing for me. F*** NA, you're affecting me, and at this point my lawyers are probably going to contact these teams, because they're making me look bad.

          Jojopyun

            Jojopyun copypasta
            Who is Jojopyun?

For the blind, Jojo is the light.

For the hungry, Jojo is the bread.

For the thirsty, Jojo is the fountain.

For the sick, Jojo is the cure.

For the prisoner, Jojo is freedom.

For the liar, Jojo is the truth.

For the traveler, Jojo is the way.

NAmen

            EG rises to celebrate a clean 3-0

              EG 3-0 MAD Lions copypasta
              As the third game ends and EG rises to celebrate a clean 3-0 Nisqy tears his jersey off to reveal a C9 shirt and starts chanting "USA USA USA" while frothing BBQ sauce from his mouth. Loud gunshots echo into the air in the arena and overhead a lone bald eagle screeches while dropping a green card on Nisqy's outstretched hands and shedding a single proud tear.
              Jojopyun: “Nisqy trick y’all, man, like he playing mid well. He don’t help nobody, man. He just running around, no lane prio, doing nothing.” Made sure to note that Nisqy went 4/13 in a 3-0 today.
              Then, I played vs him. "jojopyun". It was just another day of Play-ins, but not for me. This was the first time someone had truely decimated me in midlane, far worse than any LCK or LPL player on the Korean ladder. My jungler and Support must be at fault I thought. He's playing so aggressive, and where is my jungle and support? But it didn't matter how many times they came mid, he would outplay nearly every time and even when he didn't he would still win the lane. I was amazed and inspired that someone could play so well, what is he doing different? Is it because he's 16 years old and I have health problems? No, it wasn't. I started studying the VOD's extensively, clearly I didn't learn everything there is to know about the game if this kid is beating me. Then I saw it, we enter lane and I see him spamming dance as Sett.
              Overheard in MAD locker room after Game 2:

“He got me,” Nisqy said of Jojopyun’s Sett laning versus him. "That f*ing rookie boomed me."

Nisqy added, “He’s so good,” repeating it four times.

Nisqy then said he wanted to add Jojo to the list of players he 1v1’s with this summer.
              Jojopyun when asked about the difference in preparing for LOUD vs preparing for MAD:

"Do guys in the play-ins go to sleep early the night before playing Nisqy and MAD? Hell no. ... I'm going to the grubhub app ... have me a nice little bud light... Tinowns? I'm going to bed at 8 o'clock. ... Mom, don't call me. My girl, don't call me."