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Explain the Bible using League of Legends terminology

    Bible in LoL Terms.

explain the Bible in league of legends terminology

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Certainly! Here's an attempt to explain the Bible using League of Legends (LoL) terminology:

The Bible can be seen as a champion's lore, describing the ancient and timeless battle between good and evil. In this analogy, the central figure of the Bible can be considered the "Summoner," representing the divine power behind the events that unfold.

Creation: In the beginning, the Summoner created the "Summoner's Rift," a vast and wondrous world. This realm was populated with various champions, each with their own unique abilities and purposes.

Fall of Man: Just as champions in the game can sometimes become corrupted, the Bible tells the story of how the first humans, Adam and Eve, succumbed to temptation and disobeyed the Summoner's commands. This led to the "Nexus" of humanity being weakened, introducing sin and suffering into the world.

The Chosen Champions: The Summoner selected certain individuals to become champions of righteousness. These "heroes of faith" include Moses, who could be compared to a support champion, guiding and leading the people of Israel towards victory.

Prophets and Messages: Throughout the ages, the Summoner sent messengers, known as "prophets," to deliver important instructions and warnings to the champions. These prophets, like Ezreal seeking hidden truths, unveiled prophecies, and unveiled the Summoner's divine plan.

The Ultimate Sacrifice: In a pivotal moment, the Summoner sent His most beloved champion, Jesus Christ, to save the world from sin. Jesus acted as the ultimate tank, willingly sacrificing Himself on the "Cross" to cleanse the Nexus of humanity from its corruption.

Resurrection and Redemption: Similar to a champion respawning after being defeated, Jesus triumphantly rose from the dead, symbolizing victory over death and offering redemption to all who believe in Him. This victory is represented by the "Pentakill," a glorious achievement in the game.

The Final Showdown: The Bible prophesies a climactic battle between good and evil, known as the "Apocalypse" or "Final Judgment." This epic encounter can be likened to a high-stakes ranked game, where champions unite in a final clash against darkness.

Eternal Victory: Ultimately, the Bible reveals that the Summoner will restore the Nexus of humanity to its original glory. The righteous champions will be rewarded with an eternal "Victory Screen," basking in the presence of the Summoner forever

    Reincarnate as a tree on Runeterra

      I wish that when i die, i could reincarnate as a tree on Runeterra, because then someone would eventually chop me down, and then i could hope that Lillia would eventually rest her tight little deer ass on me while she stops to sit down, and take a long (emphasis on long) rest

      Ryze Came to me in a Dream

        Hey fellas, it has been quite a while since I posted here. I actually haven't touched league in many months, when my life as the blue man ended I got a job, a girlfriend, a dog, a nice house. Honestly things have never been better for me.

But every so often when my GF isn't home I go into the basement and I stare at my computer for no reason. It calls to me, tempts me. Staring at it I get visions, I can see Rod of Ages, I can FEEL the power.

Ever since about two weeks ago I've been having this awful recurring dream; I can see Ryze holding a seraph's embrace, but it's not the new seraphs, it's the old one. Ryze stares at me blankly and says "Wake up. Wake up" over and over and I awaken in front of the computer, my finger on the power button. I usually mutter to myself "Riot would never do that" and I walk back to spawn.

A few days ago my girlfriend demanded I see a doctor because and I quote "I have been so pale I almost look blue". I visited the doctor and he looked at me and said "you need more mana". And gave me my scroll.

After realm warping back home I noticed that the computer was turned on and my support was stacking tears of the goddess. "What is 'League of Legends'?" She screamed at me. "Is this where you go at night? What's with those tattoos? Are you even listening?!"

I had no idea why my support was flaming me. I didn't actually need to mute her as she eventually left saying something about a "breakup". "At least the runes are safe" I think to myself. Thankfully my jungler Warwick is actually loyal and would never leave me over a 40 game loss streak.

Has anyone else been enjoying the new seraph's? I have been fired from my job as a forklift operator but otherwise I can't help but feel my life is back on track

        Odoamne became what everyone feared.

          Odoamne copypasta
          Odoamne became what everyone feared. His eyelids disappeared, his head was swelling and his ears started bleeding. “Are you okay bro?” asks Comp. "I’ve never been better Markos, I see it all now, they’re not going Baron or Dragon. They’re going home."

          Next before TwitchCon, let’s talk about NA.

            Copy and paste loltyler1 Thoughts On NA Performance At Worlds
            Source
            Next before TwitchCon, let's talk about NA.

You disgust me, you disgusting pieces of shit.

Your sorry scrub, bum, paycheck stealing bitch ass motherfucking bastards couldn't win one game. Not one game.

You couldn't take home one dub bro.

Like, I get it guys. You guys make zero content. You have no brands. You do not show up anywhere. You barely get flamed by anybody except maybe on Twitter DMs, bro.

I'm live 10 hours-ish a day five days a week. I get that.

Do you understand?!?!?! I tank the harrassment 99% of the time. So, when you lose, reminder, you're losing for me. Fuck NA, you're affecting me, and at this point my lawyers are probably going to contact these teams, because they're making me look bad.

I don't have too much to say. And notice I'm not saying we, suck. I'm saying they suck. I'm not a part of NA bro. I don't care. I don't care. I disown NA. I don't care bro they're trash.

The most embarrassingly pathetic games I've seen in my life bro.

Putting up no fight at all, just rolling over. It's so cringe.

You fucking sons of bitches, it's horrible bro, it's terrible. All I pray is guys, guys, don't, listen. I was going to say don't get on the plane back home if you go 0-18, but, it's in NA. Like bro it's a fucking hour flight. You can drive a car.

So I don't even know. Don't show your faces again bro. Don't show your faces again if you go 0-18. It would be so embarrassing for me. I don't care about for you, for me I'm not kidding. I might quit streaming, not going to lie, so bear that in mind. That's that bro.
            I don't have too much to say. And notice I'm not saying we, suck. I'm saying they suck. I'm not a part of NA bro. I don't care. I don't care. I disown NA. I don't care bro they're trash.The most embarrassingly pathetic games I've seen in my life bro.Putting up no fight at all, just rolling over. It's so cringe.
            You disgust me, you disgusting pieces of s**t.Your sorry scrub, bum, paycheck stealing b**ch a** motherf***ing bast**ds couldn't win one game. Not one game.You couldn't take home one dub bro.Like, I get it guys. You guys make zero content. You have no brands. You do not show up anywhere. You barely get flamed by anybody except maybe on Twitter DMs, bro.
            Do you understand?!?!?! I tank the harrassment 99% of the time. So, when you lose, reminder, you're losing for me. F*** NA, you're affecting me, and at this point my lawyers are probably going to contact these teams, because they're making me look bad.

            Jojopyun

              Jojopyun copypasta
              Who is Jojopyun?

For the blind, Jojo is the light.

For the hungry, Jojo is the bread.

For the thirsty, Jojo is the fountain.

For the sick, Jojo is the cure.

For the prisoner, Jojo is freedom.

For the liar, Jojo is the truth.

For the traveler, Jojo is the way.

NAmen