Genshin Impact

I’m sick of saying Yumemizuki Mizuki

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of saying Yumemizuki Mizuki. I try to say Kaedehara Kazuha, Yumemizuki Mizuki is more fun to say. I try to say Kuki Shinobu, Yumemizuki Miizuki is more fun to say. I try to say Shikanoin Heizou, Yumemizuki Mizuki is more fun to say. I don't even wanna pronounce Al Haitham, I just wanna say Sangonomiya Kokomi, then I remember how much better saying Yumemizuki Mizuki is. I want to say Arataki Itto - but I get reminded of Yumemizuki Mizuki. Yumemizuki Mizuki grabs me by the throat. I say Yumemizuki Mizuki for Yumemizuki Mizuki. "You aren't saying Yumemizuki Mizuki enough". Yumemizuki Mizuiki says it's not enough. I can't say Yumemizuki Mizuki anymore, my vocal chords can't handle Yumemizuki Mizuki anymore. "Guess this is the end." Yumemizuki Mizuki grabs Yumemizuki Mizuki's snacks and shove it down my throat, as if my throat wasn't damaged enough from saying Yumemizuki Mizuki enough. There was no hints of sadness in Yumemizuki Mizuki's eyes. Nothing but pure happiness from the ennunciation of Yumemizuki Mizuki's name. What a cruel world.

Since Chiori is the paragon of human virtue without equal past or present

Its the Nijika Pledge copypasta but changed to Chiori from Genshin Impact.

Since Chiori is the paragon of human virtue without equal past or present, she is most resplendent in love, tributes and accolades. Waking or sleeping, I must not forget Chiori’s great boon and in order to return her favour by day and by night, I should only think of fulfilling my loyalty. Who is Chiori? For the blind, she is their vision. For the deaf, she is their music. For the mute, she is their voice. For the anosmiac, she is their aroma. For the numb, she is their feeling. For the atrophied, she is their muscle. For the starved, she is their sustenance. For the thirsty, she is their water. For the exhausted, she is their energy. For the depressed, she is their happiness. For the disillusioned, she is their hope. For the pessimistic, she is their optimism. For the disadvantaged, she is their champion. For the marginalised, she is their justice. For the oppressed, she is their salvation. For the righteous, she is their symbol. For the enlightened, she is their muse. For the erudite, she is their education. If Chiori speaks, I listen. If Chiori questions, I answer. If Chiori orders, I obey. If Chiori opines, I agree. If Chiori fears, I assure. If Chiori hopes, I dream. If Chiori is happy, I am jubilant. If Chiori is angry, I am apoplectic. If Chiori is sad, I am disconsolate. Chiori is my ideal, Chiori is my romance, Chiori is my passion. Chiori is my strength, Chiori is my compass, Chiori is my destination. Chiori is my language, Chiori is my culture, Chiori is my religion. Chiori is my ocean, Chiori is my mountain, Chiori is my sky, Chiori is my air, Chiori is my sun, Chiori is my moon, Chiori is my world. Chiori is history, Chiori is present, Chiori is future. If Chiori has a million fans, I am one of them. If Chiori has a thousand fans, I am one of them. If Chiori has a hundred fans, I am one of them. If Chiori has ten fans, I am one of them. If Chiori has only one fan, that is me. If Chiori has no fans, I no longer exist. If the whole universe is for Chiori, then I am for the whole universe. If the whole universe is against Chiori, then I am against the whole universe. I will love, cherish, and protect Chiori until my very last breath; my successors will love, cherish and protect Chiori until their very last breath. Life without Chiori is no life at all. Death with Chiori is life. In the inconceivable event that Chiori is no longer in this world, living without her would be an unimaginable insult, and thus our only absolution would be to clear the now sullied human race from the Earth. May Chiori grant us grace eternal.

Kokomi copypasta

Its the Vaporeon copypasta but changed to Kokomi from Genshin Impact. The pasta started from an anonymous user on FB around 2021 while an alternate version was written by a Redditor.

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of sex, Kokomi is probably the most flexible unit you could go for? Not only is she Hydro, which would allow her to do all sorts of things with her saliva and your semen, but she's also a healer, which makes all sort of hardcore BDSM possible, because she can always heal herself. You can be as rough with her as you'd like, and she can quickly recover both herself and you from fatigue so you can keep going for as long as possible. Not only that, but she's short and petite, so you can pick her up and do whatever you want with her. Kokomi is literally built for human dick. Also, for fun, you can have sex with her on top of water. Ungodly defense stat+high HP Pool+healing means she can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come back for more

Alt version

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female waifu breeding, Sangonomiya Kokomi is the most compatible waifu for humans? Not only are they in the Hydro group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Kokomi are an average of 5'3" tall and 110.2 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Bake-Kurage, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Kokomi would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Kurage's Oath, Nereid's Ascension, Tamanooya's Casket, Song of Pearls, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Flawless Strategy and Princess of Watatsumi, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other waifu comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Kokomi turn white. Kokomi is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Bake-Kurage means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Varesa.

By u/JugFlintWatery, its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Varesa, the new top Electro DPS in Genshin.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Varesa. I try to dash with Mona. My Varesa runs faster. I try to skill with Yelan. My Varesa runs faster. I try to swoop with Kirara, Lynette. My Varesa runs faster. I try to blitz with Mavuika. You guessed it - Varesa runs faster.

I come up with an exploration team.

I climb with Kinich, Xilonen. They're slower at running and both like Varesa's speed. I fly over with Chasca, Ifa, Wanderer. Varesa can jump over valleys. I glide with Citlali, Ororon, Kazuha. Varesa can reach almost as high with her charged attack. I invite Mualani, Furina on the beach. But... Varesa runs over water.

She grabs me by the throat. I cook for her. I organize her orchard. I ask for Coach Iansan's help to grant her strength. She isn't satisfied. I give her R5 Widsith. "That 480 EM buff is wasted on me, give me Notions. Also, pull for C1 so I can run infinitely," she said, as she drove Mavuika's bike and forced it to run over enemies. "You just need to buff me more with C6 Chevreuse, I can deal more damage in Overload."

Well, I can't pull for Notions or C1, I don't have enough primogems. I also failed to get C6 Chevreuse and C6 Iansan on her banner. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "You oughta stand down?!" She grabs her mask. She shouts, "Fietena, grant me strength!!"

There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but absurd overworld travel speed and insane plunge damage.

What a cruel world.

Neuvilette 🐉💦 14,600 Base HP ❤️️ 576 Base DEF 🛡 15% CA damage

Parody of Showmaker’s K’sante copypasta from LoL but changed to Neuvilette from Genshin due to how absurdly strong he is.

As of July 2024, the copypasta has been updated to include the 1,600 primos given to players as an apology for Neuvilette’s nerf that was reverted.

🐲 Neuvillette 🥶 on-field carry 👤40,000 HP 💪 250% Crit Damage 🤷‍♂️ Extra 36% CR from Marechaussee 💦 Unstoppable 🚫 Penetrates shields 🛡 Can self heal 🧱 Insane AOE 🐯 Braindead single target ☝spin to win 🕐 can solo abyss 🧙‍♂️ versatile teams and F2P friendly 👺… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 🗣️🗣️🗣️ Hoyo tried to nerf him gives everyone 1600 primos 🤑🤑🤑

Neuvilette 🐉💦 14,600 Base HP ❤️️ 576 Base DEF 🛡 15% CA damage and 36 Free Crit Rate from Marechusse Hunter 🏹 38.4 Crit Damage from Ascension⬆️ 30% Free Hydro Damage from Talent 2 🤹‍♂️ Self-healing 🏥 CA hits multiple targets 👥 Interruption resist on CA 🚫Can freely aim CA 🎯 No ER requirements 🔋 No setup needed ❌ Skill cooldown only 12s ⏱

French version

🐲 Neuvillette 🥶 carry sur le terrain 👤40 000 HP 💪 250% de dégâts critiques 🤷‍♂️ 36% CR supplémentaire de Maréchaussée 💦 Imparable 🚫 Pénètre les boucliers 🛡 Peut s'auto-guérir 🧱 AOE insensée 🐯 Cible unique Braindead ☝spin pour gagner 🕐 peut abyssal en solo 🧙‍♂️ équipes polyvalentes et amicales F2P 👺… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 🗣️🗣️🗣️ Hoyo a essayé de le nerfer donne à tout le monde 1600 primos 🤑🤑🤑

Korean version

🐲 Neuvillette 🥶 필드 캐리 👤40,000 HP 💪 250% 크리티컬 데미지 🤷‍♂️ Marechaussee에서 추가 36% CR 💦 멈출 수 없음 🚫 실드 관통 🛡 자가 치유 가능 🧱 광란의 AOE 🐯 단일 타겟에게 무뇌 ☝회전하여 승리 🕐 심연을 혼자서 처리할 수 있음 🧙‍♂️ 다재다능한 팀과 F2P 친화적 👺… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 🗣️🗣️🗣️ Hoyo가 그를 약화시키려고 했고 모두에게 1600개의 프리모를 줬어 🤑🤑🤑

I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Haikaveh

Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Haikaveh, a nickname of the pairing for Alhaitham and Kaveh in Genshin Impact.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Haikaveh. I try to do Alhaitham's story quest. Haikaveh appear together. I try to play Kaveh's hangout quest. Haikaveh appear together. I try to play Sumeru event. Haikaveh appear together. I try to play Sethos' voiceline about Alhaitham and Kaveh. Haikaveh appear together. I try to play Alhaitham's voiceline about Tighnari. He just keeps mentioning Kaveh.

They grab me by the throat. I pull for them. I study languages and architecture for them. I listen to “Writing on the wall” both versions 520 times for them. They aren't satisfied. I make content of them. "We don't need this much fan creation" They tell me. "Buy our new merch." They grab Hoyo and force them to collab with KFC. "You just need to make a namecard of us stand next to each other. We can show the world of our love more"

I can't buy the new KFC merch , I don't have enough money. They grab my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." They grab Mehrak. Kaveh says "Mehrak, get them." There is no hint of sadness in their eyes. Nothing but pure, Haikaveh is so canon it make Alhaitham's yume crash out. What a cruel world.