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Discord Copypasta


My mother keeps telling me to get a job even though i am a discord mod

    Most financially secure Discord mod
    Basically the title, i am a full time discord moderator and right now i am managing 10 servers at once, I enjoy my job, i enjoy interacting with different communities and it's nice that people recognize me in all the chats, Recently my mother has been nagging me to get a job even though discord is my job. We had family and cousins over for dinner once and they were discussing their job prospects , My cousin is a firefighter and was talking about how physically exhausting it can be to climb ladders and manage the fire equipment. I also say that my job is hard and that my fingers get tired and that i have to do special hand/finger stretches so i dont get carpal tunnel. I heard my brother smirk and i realized that none of them take what i love to do seriously, so i stormed back to my room
    
    A few weeks passed and i was in the middle of getting a promotion and training to become an admin when my mother opened the door and asked to speak to me , i sighed and deafened myself since i was on call, She looked at me with sad eyes and said 'Honey your father and i are kicking you out in 2 weeks if you dont get a job" , I replied telling her that once again this is my job, she then asked if i make any money from it which i replied one of the owners bought me a month of nitro for helping manage a discord raid, she told me that she didnt understand what nitro was or what a raid was, she once again told me or thats it, I am 28 years old, this is my dream and my passion, i am in the middle of completing my training and getting my admin certificate, i dont even want to imagine what my kittens would do without me if i cant go on my pc to use discord
    
    What should i do? Any advice? Please help me because i am serious

    I AM ANNOUNCING MY IMMINENT MASTURBATION

      I AM ANNOUNCING MY IMMINENT MASTURBATION. I am aware that the announcement of imminent masturbation has been a serious reocurring issue lately, and I am here with my bottom-level social skills to ensure that it will only worsen. I hope that this server full of mostly male members will appreciate the fact that I will soon be cumming, and offer me that coveted high-five that I so surely deserve. As the announcement of imminent masturbation is NOT in the current ruleset, I will continue to toe this line. Any and all action taken against me by the mod team will be considered extra judicial and I will retaliate by mobilizing my army of alts. If any males want to provide me a high-five or emotial gratification, please do so. If any females wish to provide me sexual gratification, ew. Thank you, and please remember: I AM NOW MASTURBATING
      @everyone Please DO NOT announce to the server when you are going to masturbate.
      
      This has been a reoccurring issue, and I'm not sure why some people have such under-developed social skills that they think that a server full of mostly male strangers would need to know that.
      
      No one is going to be impressed and give you a high-five (especially considering where that hand has been.) I don't want to add this to the rules, since it would be embarrassing for new users to see that we have a problem with this, but it is going to be enforced as a rule from now on.

      HOW TO GET EMIRU A SERIES OF PLANS

        Twitch streamer Emiru copypasta
        HOW TO GET EMIRU A SERIES OF PLANS
        
        A) Time travel to back when Emiru had no viewers, compliment her skills at League, ask for coaching, she agrees, hop in Discord and woo her with my natural charisma
        
        B) [Emiru has her PO box number in Twitch bio] Travel to Texas to the PO box address, camp out there for weeks until she comes to pick up her mail, follow her home. Pretend to be homeless and ask for a place to stay. She agrees and then I naturally woo her with my natural charisma
        
        C) My family goes on a vacation to New York and we fly over Texas. Threaten the plane with a bomb threat, grab a parachute and jump out the plane just as it passes right above her house. As she sees me parachuting down she sees me, her knight in shining armor and falls in love instantly
        
        D) Find a Deathnote, make her die a peaceful death at like 70 and write "fall in love with the user of this deathnote"
        
        E) While camping with my father over the summer, I find a cave with a genie in a bottle and I wish for the following
        
        1.   Emiru instantly falls in love with me (instead of wishing for buffs in certain stats, she will love me as I already am so wishes are not wasted on elongating certain appendages or adding height)
        
        2.   I find 1 trillion dollars worth of diamonds under my property (its better to have a material good rather than money as to not affect the economy)
        
        3.   Be 18 (so its legal)
        
        F) Climb to Diamond where she generally hovers in rank. Play as support exclusively when I'm at diamond since she plays ADC. Find her in a game, do well and win that game, ask to duo, she says yes, ask to Discord and seduce her with my natural charisma (edited)
        
        G) Graduate high school and go to a college in Cedar Park, Texas, where Emiru lives. Go to trendy restaurants and coffee shops and whatnot in trying to find her. Meet her and ask her out, pretending to not know that she is actually a very large streamer. She says yes and I woo her with my natural charisma
        
        (VARIATION OF PLAN G #2) During my stay at Cedar Park, Texas, I go to the gym and workout. Emiru is on the treadmill and notices me deadlifting 670 lbs and is impressed. She comes to congratulate me and we start a conversation and is captivated by my beautiful eyes (edited)
        
        (VARIATION OF PLAN G #3) Emiru and all her OTK (the org she signed under) all go to the beach and have a stream. [Living in Kansas all her life, Emiru had never learn to swim] She goes out to the deep end of the ocean and begins to drown, I jump in and save her. As she opens her eyes and looks at her savior she sees my eyes. Instantly falls in love. (PLAN IS DEPENDENT ON ME KN0WING HOW TO SWIM SO I NEED TO LEARN FROM THE YEARS OF 2022- 2025)
        
        (VARIATION OF PLAN G #4) [In Texas, it is not uncommon for large snowstorms to knock out electricity for days, if not weeks at a time] I attend a vocational school and learn how to be an electrician. One of the requirements is to become an intern for a local electrician. I get an order to check out a certain address. I knock on the door and Emiru answers. She is shivering because the heater has been off for days and no electrician has come. I fix it posthaste and she thanks me profusely. She invites me to join her for dinner which consists of various canned foods. I offer to cook and I make a tasty wagyu steak. Instantly falls in love.
        
        (VARIATION OF PLAN G #5) I attend a cooking school where I then get hired at a Michelin star restaurant. Emiru then goes to this restaurant in a ravishing red dress. I make the best meal to ever exist and she wants to personal meet the chef (me) to send her thanks. She sees me and instantly falls in love. [THIS PLAN HINGES ON ME LEARNING HOW TO COOK AT A MICHELIN STAR LEVEL IN 2 YEARS]
        
        (VARIATION OF PLAN G #6) [Emiru has only a high school education] She decides to go to college after years of neglecting to go and meets me, her professor. My hair is slicked back and I always wear a suit. She instantly falls in love
        
        H) While I visit my grandparents in San Francisco, I spot a large crowd walking down the street. As i go near to investigate, it turns outy that its Emiru who visited the city for a local convention. I quickly guide her to a safe location as to not be hounded by the crowd, she thanks me and is wood by my natural charisma.
        
        I) I become a police officer in San Jose but get transfered to Cedar Park, Texas. I hear a dispatcher say that there has been a disturbance at a certain address. I go to investigate but it is actually a very large party, Emiru opens the door and notices me. She is a bit intoxicated so she allows me in. She is seduced by my rugged, handsome good looks.
        
        J) [For my Japanese class, all the students get an opportunity to fly to Japan in a school sponsored trip] I am wandering the Japanese streets when I notice Emiru lost. She is separated from her friends. I ask her if she needs any help and she requests that I guide her back to her hotel. I oblige and she thanks me profusely and invites me for a nice candlelit dinner. Instantly falls in love. (edited)
        
        K) [Every year Crunchyroll holds an anime convention] Emiru is invited to this convention to cosplay. She walks the catwalk showing off her cosplay when she is jumped by a rabid fan. I jump out from the crowd and rescue the damsel in distress. I fight off the weirdo and she thanks me and instantly falls in love.
        
        L) [Op posts a copypasta of these plans] She sees the post and asks Op for the person who wrote all of this. He says "my friend". She gets my discord from him and asks to VC and sees my face. She instantly falls in love.

        STOP reacting to our messages with rude emojis 🤡💀🤓

          Discord mods on 💀🤓🤡
          Ok everyone since you don't listen when I'm nice, I'm going to get mean.
          
          Reacting to messages with a clown (🤡), a skull (💀), or a nerd face (🤓) isn't funny. It's not cool, it's not interesting, it's annoying.
          
          These 3 emojis in particular aren't funny, they're RUDE. We as staff work hard to keep this place safe, and to have you all constantly react to our messages with mean emojis makes me FURIOUS.
          
          STOP reacting to our messages with rude emojis. They do NOTHING but make you look really, really stupid.
          
          It shows you have no rebuttals to our arguments, so you have to use juvenile tactics paramount to terrorism in order to stop us from being able to speak our truth.
          
          FROM NOW ON, IF YOU REACT WITH ANY MEAN EMOJIS, I AM WRITING YOUR NAME DOWN.
          
          IF YOU ARE A SERIAL REACTOR, YOUR USERNAME IS GOING TO A GOOGLE DOC. AT THE END OF THE MONTH, I WILL TAKE THIS DOC TO THE APPROPIATE AUTHORITIES FOR THEM TO INVESTIGATE AND ARREST YOU.
          
          This is your ONLY warning. Tread carefully...

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