Dick should be measured in volume. Think about it. If someone has a 20cm dick but only like 3cm in diameter its not that much dick. I get it would be harder to measure. You could probably use the formula of a truncted cone or cylinder.
If you fill a measuring jug full, put your dick in it so it overflows and measure how much water displaced you could find the volume of your dick that way. That’s how archimedes would do it
My girlfriend was playing with my balls and she was amazed that they weren't perfect spheres but more like eggs. Then she tried to switch em around (left to right witch kinda scared me) and lost her shit. I took the opportunity to show her all the amazing penis and ball maneuvers I could think of like stretching ball skin apart to make it flat. She was in awe of how much fun it seemed and said she was jealous. I'm guessing this is just something new to them? She showed me the fabled labia clap but that was all she really had
Her name was april, she had braces. She went down town on me, we were having fun.she deepthroated. Then that connective tissue that attaches the base of your cock to your scrotum sack got caught inbetween her bottom 2 teeth, suddenly i feel this sharp pulling and she stops with my cock down her throat we look at each other and she goes "EEeef Boff ooua oua eeef"(it's hard to talk with a cock in your mouth) anyway i reach down with my hand and feel around for my balls and skin and yeah its in her braces, so i try pushing it around to get it out, my cocks still in her mouth, still mostly deep throat and so i'm still getting a blow job, my cocks now back at fully erect and shes slobbering and drooling all over my hand so i keep losing grip on the bag skin, suddenly i'm like oh fuck i think i'm going cum so i say stop moving stop moving she looks up and goes "Oua iiii" and that put me over the edge and i shot a load down her throat, she starts gagging and jerks her head away and riiiiiip. I'm howling in pain and shes puking cum.
Anyway she had to go to the orthodontist to get a piece of my scrotum removed. And i got a scar and this story.
We kinda didn't talk much after
Before I begin my actual comment, I would like to apologize in advance for my inadequate level of English proficiency. I am not a native speaker of the world's current lingua franca which unfortunately leads to me making numerous embarrassing mistakes being made whenever I attempt to communicate using this language. Whenever I am reminded of how I lack the ability to convey my thoughts in an eloquent manner, I feel as though I have committed a cardinal sin, as though every English teacher in the world is simultaneously shaking their head and sighing due to how utterly disappointed they are at me.
Although I know that saying sorry to those of you who are reading my comment will not change the fact that I fail miserably to write and speak perfect English, I am writing this as a way to deter a certain type of people who cannot stand poor English (Also known informally as Grammar Nazis) from mocking me by posting unwanted and unnecessary comments detailing my every blunder. In my humble opinion, making grammatical errors should be perfectly acceptable as native speakers should not expect non-native speakers to be able to communicate in their second or third languages eloquently. If you are able to completely understand what the other person wrote, is there really a problem with what they've written? No, because the entire concept of communication is the exchange of information between other intelligent beings, which means that no matter how the exchange of information is made, as long as the information is accurately shared there is not a fundamental issue with their ability to communicate. To see it in another way, remember that someone who isn't fluent in English is fluent in another language. When you think about it this way, isn't it impressive for someone to speak a second language in any capacity? Having empathy and respect are qualities that are sorely missing for far too many people these days, especially on the internet.
That being said, I am aware that not all netizens who correct others are doing it to ridicule and shame. There are some who do so with the intent to help others improve and grow. However, displaying the failures of other people publicly will cause the person who is criticized to feel negative emotions such as shame and sadness due to the fact that their mistake has been made obvious which severely undermines the point they were trying to make in spite of their unfamiliarity with the English language. In most circumstances people are not looking for language help when they post anything online. Most people just want to enjoy themselves and have a good time on the internet which is why I would not encourage correcting other people regardless of your intentions. If you really do want to help others with their spelling or grammar, I would highly recommend you to help via messaging privately because not only will you not embarrass anyone, you can also go more in-depth with your explanation which I'm sure the other person will greatly appreciate if they want help, but I digress. I know that I've written a bit of an essay, but I hope I've made my points clear.
Anyways, here is the comment I wanted to make:
cock.
Hindi version
अपनी वास्तविक टिप्पणी शुरू करने से पहले, मैं अंग्रेजी दक्षता के अपने अपर्याप्त स्तर के लिए अग्रिम रूप से क्षमा चाहता हूँ। मैं दुनिया की वर्तमान भाषा का मूल वक्ता नहीं हूं, जिसके कारण दुर्भाग्य से जब भी मैं इस भाषा का उपयोग करके संवाद करने का प्रयास करता हूं तो मुझे कई शर्मनाक गलतियां करनी पड़ती हैं। जब भी मुझे याद आता है कि मुझमें अपने विचारों को वाक्पटु तरीके से व्यक्त करने की क्षमता की कमी है, तो मुझे लगता है कि जैसे मैंने कोई बड़ा पाप किया है, जैसे कि दुनिया का हर अंग्रेजी शिक्षक एक साथ अपना सिर हिला रहा है और कितनी निराशा के कारण आहें भर रहा है वे मुझ पर हैं।
हालांकि मुझे पता है कि आप में से जो लोग मेरी टिप्पणी पढ़ रहे हैं, उनके लिए सॉरी बोलने से यह तथ्य नहीं बदलेगा कि मैं सही अंग्रेजी लिखने और बोलने में बुरी तरह विफल हूं, मैं इसे एक खास प्रकार के लोगों को रोकने के लिए लिख रहा हूं जो खराब अंग्रेजी बर्दाश्त नहीं कर सकते (अनौपचारिक रूप से व्याकरण नाज़ी के रूप में भी जाना जाता है) मेरी हर गलती का विवरण देने वाली अवांछित और अनावश्यक टिप्पणियों को पोस्ट करके मेरा मज़ाक उड़ाया। मेरी विनम्र राय में, व्याकरण संबंधी त्रुटियां पूरी तरह से स्वीकार्य होनी चाहिए क्योंकि देशी वक्ताओं को गैर-देशी वक्ताओं से अपनी दूसरी या तीसरी भाषाओं में वाक्पटुता से संवाद करने में सक्षम होने की उम्मीद नहीं करनी चाहिए। यदि आप पूरी तरह से समझने में सक्षम हैं कि दूसरे व्यक्ति ने क्या लिखा है, तो क्या वास्तव में उन्होंने जो लिखा है उसमें कोई समस्या है? नहीं, क्योंकि संचार की पूरी अवधारणा अन्य बुद्धिमान प्राणियों के बीच सूचनाओं का आदान-प्रदान है, जिसका अर्थ है कि सूचनाओं का आदान-प्रदान चाहे कितना भी हो, जब तक सूचना सही ढंग से साझा की जाती है, उनकी संवाद करने की क्षमता के साथ कोई मौलिक मुद्दा नहीं है . इसे दूसरे तरीके से देखने के लिए, याद रखें कि जो अंग्रेजी में धाराप्रवाह नहीं है वह दूसरी भाषा में धाराप्रवाह है। जब आप इसके बारे में इस तरह से सोचते हैं, तो क्या किसी के लिए किसी भी क्षमता में दूसरी भाषा बोलना प्रभावशाली नहीं है? सहानुभूति और सम्मान ऐसे गुण हैं जो इन दिनों बहुत से लोगों के लिए विशेष रूप से इंटरनेट पर गायब हैं।
कहा जा रहा है, मुझे पता है कि दूसरों को सही करने वाले सभी नेटिज़न्स उपहास और शर्म की बात नहीं कर रहे हैं। कुछ ऐसे हैं जो दूसरों को सुधारने और बढ़ने में मदद करने के इरादे से ऐसा करते हैं। हालाँकि, अन्य लोगों की विफलताओं को सार्वजनिक रूप से प्रदर्शित करने से उस व्यक्ति को शर्म और उदासी जैसी नकारात्मक भावनाओं को महसूस करने के लिए आलोचना की जाती है, इस तथ्य के कारण कि उनकी गलती स्पष्ट हो गई है जो उस बिंदु को गंभीर रूप से कम कर देती है जो वे अपने प्रयास के बावजूद बनाने की कोशिश कर रहे थे। अंग्रेजी भाषा से अपरिचित। अधिकांश परिस्थितियों में जब लोग ऑनलाइन कुछ भी पोस्ट करते हैं तो वे भाषा सहायता की तलाश नहीं करते हैं। ज्यादातर लोग सिर्फ खुद का आनंद लेना चाहते हैं और इंटरनेट पर अच्छा समय बिताना चाहते हैं, इसलिए मैं आपके इरादों की परवाह किए बिना अन्य लोगों को सही करने के लिए प्रोत्साहित नहीं करूंगा। यदि आप वास्तव में दूसरों की वर्तनी या व्याकरण के साथ मदद करना चाहते हैं, तो मैं आपको निजी तौर पर संदेश के माध्यम से मदद करने की अत्यधिक अनुशंसा करता हूं क्योंकि न केवल आप किसी को शर्मिंदा नहीं करेंगे, आप अपनी व्याख्या के साथ और अधिक गहराई तक जा सकते हैं, जो मुझे यकीन है कि अगर वे मदद चाहते हैं तो दूसरे व्यक्ति बहुत सराहना करेंगे, लेकिन मैं पछताता हूं। मुझे पता है कि मैंने थोड़ा सा निबंध लिखा है, लेकिन मुझे उम्मीद है कि मैंने अपनी बात स्पष्ट कर दी है।
वैसे भी, यहाँ वह टिप्पणी है जो मैं करना चाहता था:
वीर्य।
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle
Why the fuck would I do that. I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn in my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me in the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watch and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with my I wouldn't feel lonely. Well I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, i took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forgot the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forgot what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what i did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish, is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.
I assert my dominance by whipping out my massive cock. When I go to a public restroom that has a person at a urinal, I go right next to them. No matter the age of the person, I stand back fairly far, about one and a half feet, just to make sure they can see my cock with their peripheral vision. They almost always finish immediately. One time there was a little kid at a urinal and I go to pee right next to him. I back step and unbuckle my belt. The kid looks over as I unzip my zipper. As I pull out my 9 inch cock, his jaw drops in amazement. I swear I saw him cum into the urinal as I started pissing. He finished up, went to wash his hands as I saw that his pants were covered in shit and cum. I felt proud of myself that day.
