Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank dvd. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the dvd, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken dvd over and realized that it was not a blank dvd, but a copy of the movie UP.
Well guys, guess I fucked up.
Everyone keeps asking if a 6-7 inch dick is even remotely medium sized, but no, not at all, I’m surprised if a 7 inched cock can even make it past the cheeks. I’ve seen so many posts asking “Is my seven inch cock big?” and it looks like the smallest fucking cock ever, I’m shocked sizes under that exists. If you have a 7 inches I feel bad for you, and you should get enlargement surgery. When you get to 8 inches, that’s when you start getting big, but 7 inches SMH. Man it’s honestly so sad that people think 7 inches are “good enough” when I feel that 7 inches couldn’t even fill me up, and I can prove it, if you have 7 inches or below, come by my house and I’ll tell you if it’s big enough, we’ll do many tests, I’ll deep throat, take it up the ass, and then we’ll really see how big your 7 inches is.
Another day of being in complete awe of my endowment, at my size. My god, my bulge, it's undeniably huge.
I caught a look at myself in the mirror and had to stop and marvel at my size. I am absolutely huge. My dick looks like an alien mothership. My god I'm getting rock hard just thinking about it. I'm literally nearly tipping over the desk I'm sitting in as I write this from my massive shaft forcing its way up. Anyway sometimes I swear my dio09dd09 90dalkds kj9 whoa almost lost the keyboard what I was saying is that my dick will get a mind of its own and just have its way. I was once having sex with this girl and as I thrust my throbbing cock into her I essentially catapulted her as my shaft goes from 120 degrees to 20 in about 0.000012 seconds and she flew 10 ft into the air and hit her head on the ceiling. God. My cock is just so fucking huge my god it's massive. Just this absolutely throbbing massive dick. I woke up this morning and I looked down and it was like mount everest in the form of bedsheets front of me. Rock solid. I just marveled at my cock. I am turned on by my own size and I love every fucking minute of it. I'm fucking huge and I love it. My size. My size. My endowment.
One time I was at a bar with a girl and everyone could see the outline of my shaft in my pants and everyone was trying to awkwardly look away until one guy said "whoa Mr BigDick coming through" and everyone laughed and 2 guys patted me on the back. I could tell the girls in the bar who had boyfriends were envious of me and one guy looked defeated as I passed by him and made him look like a minature ken doll dwarfed by my gigantic cock. I feel bad for them honestly having to be compared to my endowment. Later that week I went back and all the girls were sitting in a corner eyeing me and my bulge and the girl I was with said she told them all about my size and that's all they could think about. They knew and knew I knew and I knew they knew I knew about what was going on and I firmly told them it was no big deal and they all squealed and went wild one of them even fainted.
Also, I just want to remind everyone who has a massive dick....don't ever take a picture of it because it will make nearly all men on earth feel inferior to you and give unrealistic expectations to girls and guys everywhere. I took a picture of my dick once and apparently it was shared by everyone on earth because later I went into the Smithsonian and saw a picture of it and it was labeled as the most impossibly perfect dick to ever grace the universe and two men were on their knees worshipping it while another man was in the fetal position whimpering. One time too I was on discord and a guy named "BigDick99999" had my dick pic as his profile pic. I won't lie, it was a bit of a confidence boost.
Later in the bathroom there was only one urinal in the middle and two guys and when I whipped it out they both enviously glanced at my endowment endowment endowment endowment and one of them said I thought they didn't allow horses in here and the other guy gulped loudly. He then, blushing, bashfully said that my wife is very lucky and must be very happy.
The first time I realized I was well endowed and my size was consierable was when my mom was driving and lost control of the car in the snow and when she went to grab the clutch my huge donger was ocuppying the dashboard (due to its demanding size) and she said "I want you to wear tighter pants from now on."
There are downsides though. This one girl said she could handle me as we were discussing dick size in my apartment. After I told her my size she said I would be the biggest. Then she said she could handle me anyway. Well let me tell you 2 hours later (somewhat related, all the magnum XXXLLLL condoms ripped as usual) in the ER proved her wrong. It was an awkward conversation with the hospital staff and I could tell everyone was uncomfortable but also clearly impressed as my size was creating a bulge, a huge bulge with purpose, from my endowment. Finally a doctor blurted out that I was the biggest he's ever seen and he has seen 1000s a day but none as big as mine. I had to go to the bathroom later but just looking at the toilet there's no way it would have been able to handle my size. My endowment.
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girl's shoulder today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of Illinois to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions. Goodbye.
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
I use my cock for home defense, just like the founding fathers intended. 4 ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" I say a I grab my phone and lotion. Blow my load all over the first man. He's dead on the spot. I start schlackin it all over the second man, but miss entirely because my cock is smooth bore, and the stray load impregnates the neighbor's wife. I'm forced to rely on the overwatch hentai I have on a table at the top of the stairs. "Tally ho, lads". The incoming tsunami smothers both men in the flood, and the sheer force starts setting off car alarms. Affix a condom and penetrate the last man. He leaves before the police arrive because he needs to recover from the soreness. Just as the founding fathers intended.
