Breaking Bad copypasta

The real reason Walt broke bad was because of that terrible handjob

Real reason Walter White broke bad — Original post

I'm telling you, the real reason Walter broke bad was because he received the world's shittiest handjob which made him reconsider his entire existence. Your wife yanking around your 50 year old half chub with 10% of her attention while simultaneously borderline orgasming at selling a girthy 8,5 inch vase on eBay for 56 dollars is an experience that people in the darkest bdsm dungeons would be shivering at. I swear to god Walter Jr. is probably having a wilder sex life on the other side of the wall with his sock than these two have had in the past five years.

So when he received his cancer diagnosis the prolonged silence was not due to shock but because of pure bliss and relief because he knew that in a few years he'll likely be dead and won't have to live like that.

That's why when he received the news of remission he was so goddamn angry. And I don't know why people see the Salamanca twins as villains, they were clearly just tryna help a homie out and spare him from this existence. Oh, but why did they go after Hank then, you might ask? Well, then you clearly don't remember Hank's handjob scene from season 4, they were trying to save him from that. Really they were the true heroes of this show trying to save people from fucking miserable, dick shriveling handjobs.

And then, of course, shit starts happening, Skyler fucks Ted and Walt goes off the chain prolly thinking stuff like "bet she didn't give just a shitty handjob to Ted, oh no! My god, I wouldn't even be surprised if she agreed to do anal with him! While I've been pleading for years!". That right there's a thought progression enough to start a man crashing plants in random office buildings. And the way it can mess with your sexual thinking, Lord only knows what kind of cataclysmic insanities Walt was busting nuts to while living alone.

But then Walt has a romantic dinner with Gus, realises there's at least someone who'd probably agree to have anal with him, meanwhile Ted gets paralyzed, no more anal for him, Walt calls up Skyler "I won".

Now Walt can be smug for the entirety of season 5, he's back on top of the sex chain. So Breaking Bad is really about Walt's sexual transformation from a submissive forced-into-humiliation-kink middle aged man to a borderline sex offender to an off the rails cuck to a pure alpha male who's ascended past sex and at the end of season 5 we can see him die with bliss on his face because he's redeemed himself.

AITA for roleplaying as Walter White during sex?

I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out.

I (37M) and my wife (25F) have had complications with sex our entire marriage (4 years), but recently we’ve started having more and more sex recently! I love my wife, and she loves me I think.

Now onto the story: I have been a massive breaking bad fan for years, I have all the merch and funko pops. But my wife thinks it’s an “unhealthy obsession”, which is just completely and utterly false! We were in the mood 2 days ago and we started having hot steamy sex, and while I was grunting I said “Oh yeah Jesse, im gonna cook up your boy pussy!” And my wife instantly said “WHAT!?” And I, realising my mistake, said “Nothing, probably just the wind.”

We continued going at it and we were reaching the climax, as soon as I came I yelled “Jesse! Feel my crystal blue cum!” And my wife threw me off instantly and yelled “I’m done! I hate you and I hate your stupid breaking bad obsession, and I’ve been fucking another guy because you won’t shut up about ‘Better Call Saul’ and how ‘Kim’ is a better wife than me!”.

As she was yelling more about how breaking bad is ruining me I told her “you’re acting just like skyler!” And she yelled that we are getting a divorce.

She has now moved into a motel and I’ve been thinking about what happened, I personally don’t believe I’m in the wrong, but I want to hear it from Reddit.

AITA?

My name is Skyler White yo

My name is Skyler fucking White, yo. My husband is Walter fucking White, yo. Uh-huh

"My name is skyler white yo"
🗿
"My husband is walter white yo"
🗿
"Uh huh"
🗿

My name is Skyler White yo
🤨🗿💥💀
My husband is Walter White yo
🤨🗿💥💀

Well, my name is Skyler White yo
🤨💥
My husband is Walter White yo
🤨💥
Uh huh
🤨💥
He told me everything
🤨💥

My name is Skyler White yo 🗿
My husband is Walter White yo 🗿

My name 😤 is Skyler white yo 😩 my husband is Walter 🔫 white yo💀

Well.. My name is skyler white yo 💥 my husband is Walter white yo 💥 uh huh 💥 told me everything 💥

my name is skyler white yo 🤨 my husband's name is Walter White yo🤨 uh-huh🤨

My name is Skyler White yo 😳
My husband is Walter White yo 😳


Uh huh 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

my husband is Walter white, yo.💀💀

Look, lady, whatever you're selling, I ain't buying, yo.


Well, my name is Skyler White, yo.

My husband is Walter White, yo.

Uh, huh.

He told me everything.


- Seriously?


- That's right.

And just so you know...

My brother-in-law is a DEA agent.

And I will not hesitate to call him.

Not if I have to.

Understood?

This is your one

and only warning.

Do not sell marijuana

to my husband.


- Okay.


- I mean it.

Don't call our house again.

You stay away from him,

or you'll be one sorry individual.

You got me?


I think so, yeah.

No more marijuana.

I can dig it.


You can dig it.

Wonderful.

Not that it's any of my business,

but you might wanna consider

a different line of work.


Okay.

Saul Badman

Hi I'm Saul Badman. Did you know that you didn't have rights? The Constitution says you don't. And so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every man, woman, and child in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Albuquerque! Better not call Saul. Saul Badman, not an attorney

AITA for missing my daughter’s birth to make a drug deal?

I was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago and started cooking meth in order to pay for my treatment and provide for my family. An opportunity arose for me to sell my product to a major distributor. On my way to the drug deal, my pregnant wife informed me that she was in labor. Instead of going to the hospital, I dropped of the meth and missed the birth of my daughter. The deal earned me millions of dollars that will go directly to my family's future. I am feeling very conflicted about my decision.

Am I the asshole?

Gus is too professional to just suck cock.

Gus is too professional to just suck cock. He's a sensual and passionate lover. He probably has a sex room hidden away in his house where even his closest and most trusted security can't find it. Stylish, but not excessive. Rustic dark wood walls, barn wood floor, queen sized bed with velvet pillows, and a small coyote fur rug in the middle. Before the action happens, he asks his lovers to wait while he sets up the scene. He dims the lights, sets up some candles, and puts on some calming piano jazz. Then, he lets him in and that's where the magic happens. They disrobe while passionately kissing. Gus pushes them onto the bed and lays gentle kisses down their body until he reaches their cock. When he sucks cock, he doesn't give that "sloppy toppy." That's too messy. He embraces it, lovingly. He kisses it and licks it, slowly and seductively. Once he sees that they're close to the edge, he takes his mouth away from his cock and begins jerking them until they cum. He doesn't like to swallow or take facials.