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Breaking Bad copypasta

Walter White plane crash school speech

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    Walter White is given mic to make a speech while the school is gathered to honor the victims of a terrible plane accident he indirectly caused. He knows his role and is trying to mitigate the innocent lives he’s killed.

    " I guess what I would want to say is to look on the bright side. First of all, nobody on the ground was killed, and that–I mean, an incident like this over a populated urban center–that right there, that's–that's just gotta be some minor miracle, so... Plus, neither plane was full. You know, the–the 737 was–was what? Maybe two-thirds full, I believe? Right, yes? Or maybe even three-quarters full. On any rate, what you're left with casualty-wise is just the 50th-worst air disaster. Actually, tied for 50th. There are, in truth, 53 crashes throughout history that are just as bad or worse. Tenerife? Has–has anybody–anybody heard of Tenerife? No? In 1977, two fully-loaded 747s crashed into each other on Tenerife. Does anybody know how big a 747 is? I mean, it's way bigger than a 737, and we're talking about two of them. Nearly 600 people died from Tenerife. But do any of you even remember it at all? Any of you? I doubt it. You know why? It's because people move on. They just move on. And we will, too. We will move on and we will get past this. Because that is what human beings do, we survive. And, uh... we survive, and we–we overcome. We survive. We survive, and..."

    Walter and Skyler sex scene

      The pasta is referring to a sex scene of Walter and Skyler in Breaking Bad S4E5.

      Even though, there's so much porn on the Internet, there's something about the passionate kissing and thrusting between them that turned me on in a way that normal porn doesn't. And just hearing the passion and drive whilst they were clawing at each other and thrusting in a deep sense of lust was entrancing. I tried finding the scene or the episode for free online by some sketchy website but I couldn't find it so I waited for no one to be home and I logged onto my dad's Netflix account on the TV and filmed the scene on my phone. I then fast forwarded it to the end of the episode so it didn't appear on continue watching. Finally, I sat on the toilet and tugged it out with one hand and used the other hand to press replay on the video. I turned the audio to the max since no one was home. This is all 100% true. I'm only posting my confession in the hope that everyone on r/okbuddychicanery ignores it because it's too wordy and it gets lost on the subreddit. It feels great to get this off my chest. If you've done something similar please let me know so I don't feel weird and if you haven't then just ignore this please. Also it will be funny af if the mods remove this but I've seen worse on this subreddit.

      IS THAT A BREAKING BAD REFERENCE?!⚗🧪⚗🧪👨‍🔬

        IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING BREAKING BAD⚗🧪⚗🧪👨‍🔬👨‍🔬 REFERENCE?!?!?! JESSE PINKMAN!🥶 JESSE PINKMAN!🥶 JESSE PINKMAN!🥶 JESSE PINKMAN!🥶 JESSE PINKMAN!🥶 WALTER HAS LUNG CANCER 🫁🎗🥺🥺😱😱😭😭 WALTER HAS LUNG CANCER 🫁🎗🥺🥺😱😱😭😭 WALTER HAS LUNG CANCER 🫁🎗🥺🥺😱😱😭😭 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽 TUCO🇲🇽. BIG CASH MONEY💰💰💰💸💸BIG CASH MONEY💰💰💰💸💸💸💵💵💵 💸💵💵💵 BIG CASH MONEY💰💰💰💸💸💸💵💵💵 BIG CASH MONEY💰💰💰💸💸💸💵💵💵 BIG CASH MONEY💰💰💰💸💸💸💵💵💵 BIG CASH MONEY💰💰💰💸💸💸💵💵💵 METHAMPHETAMINE ⚗⚗🧪 METHAMPHETAMINE ⚗⚗🧪 METHAMPHETAMINE ⚗⚗🧪 METHAMPHETAMINE ⚗⚗🧪 METHAMPHETAMINE ⚗⚗🧪 DEA 🚔 DEA 🚔 DEA 🚔 DEA 🚔 DEA 🚔 DEA 🚔
        ‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING BREAKING BAD REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 BREAKING BAD IS THE BEST FUCKING SHOW 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 WALTER WHITE IS SO BADASSSSS 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👊👊👊👊👊 JESSEH JESSEH JESSEH JESSEH JESSEH JESSEH JESSEH JESSEH 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 😩😩😩😩 BETCH BETCH BETCH BETCH BETCH BETCH BETCH BETCH BETCH BETCH BETCH BETCH BETCH BETCH BETCH 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞Better Call Saul! 📞 Welcome to the Los Pollos Hermanos family🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓You can call me Gus‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂 
        ‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING BREAKING BAD REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 WALTUH WHITE IS SO FUCKIGN COOL🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 🪨🪨 JESUS MARIE THEYRE MINERALS 🪨🪨 ⚗️⚗️YOU BOUGHT A METH LAB TO AN AIRPORT? ✈️ ✈️ OH ROOF PIZZA 🍕 ROOF PIZZA 🍕 ROOF PIZZA 🍕 ROOF PIZZA 🍕 🍕 ❗️I AM THE DANGER ❗️ I AM THE DANGER ❗️ I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS 🚪 ❗️Say my name! 🗣Say my name! 🗣❓ ❓ Say my name! 🗣Say my name! 🗣 Say my name! 🗣 Say! My name! 🗣 Saaaay my name 🗣 Youre the smaryerst guy i ever met..... 🧠 but ur too stopid to realize.. the exact moment when walt whitman became woodrow wilson. OXYMANDIAD IS THE GREATEST EPISODE OF TEVELSION 📺 📺 👑 HANDS 🙌 DOWN⬇️. WE TRIED TO POISON ☠️ YOU, BECASE YOURE AN INSANE, DEGENRATE PEICE OF FILTH, AND YOU DESERVE TO DIE. WALT JR ASK FOR BREAKFAST HAHAHAH 🤣😂🤣🥲😂🤣😂😅😂😂🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🙂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤠🤠🤠👽👽😹😹😹. r/breakingbad r/bettercallsaul r/okbuddychicanery r/unexpected r/expectedthanos for balance r/sounding
61

        The symbolism beyond the handjobs in Breaking Bad

          In two separate occasions we saw Walter and Hank, receiving a handjob from their respective wives: Walter in S1 EP1; Hank in S3 EP12.

There is a clear contrast between these 2 scenes.
Walter got a handjob before all hell broke loose. He hadn't received his cancer diagnosis yet, and he was living a pretty mundane and "boring life". You can see it by how uninterested he and Skyler were during that scene.
Hank, on the other hand, had just experienced the most traumatic experience of his life. Marie's handjob had emotion behind it. It wasn't meant to just pleasure Hank, but to rejuvenate him. To give him some vigor and confidence during a hard time.

But one thing that really seals the deal for me, is their names(stay with me, it will make sense). You see, Walter is a Germanic name that means "Commander Of The Troops". Pretty much foreshadowing what was about to come in later seasons. But there is more. Walter didn't orgasm during that scene, so his "troops"(aka sperm) didn't come out. Implying that Walter wasn't a commander of the troops, at that point...also his last name is white, the color of sperm.

As for Hank, this will blow your mind.
Hank kinda sounds like wank, but It also sounds like honk... a car honk. Hello?! He was almost killed in a parking lot , while inside his car. You can hear a car honk throughout his fight scene against the Salamanca cousins. Still don't believe me? Hank's last name, Schrader, is a type of pneumatic tire valve that is used in most cars around the world. "OP but the Schrader valves are also used on bikes"...I guess there wasn't any major event in the show that involved someone riding a bike, right?! Guys, it's all connected!
The way Vince Gilligan used these two scenes to backshadow and foreshadow is nothing less than godly.

          Los Pollos Hermanos

            Original scene
            Hello! And welcome to the Los Pollos Hermanos family. My name is Gustavo, but you can call me "Gus". I am thrilled that you'll be joining our team. Each and every day, we serve our customers exceptional food, with impecable service. We take pride in everything that we do. And after this 10 week online seminar, I'm sure you'll fit right in. I like to think I see things in people. To begin, I'd like to talk about the cornerstone of the Los Pollos Hermanos brand. Communication. As an employee of Los Pollos Hermanos, you set the tone for the entire dining experience. Be mindful of what your words, and behavior communicate to our guests. Always be aware of your posture, remember to stand up straight. Your customers and your back will thank you for it. Put effort into your appearance, all employees are required to dress appropriately. Keep your uniform clean, and pressed. If you want respect, you must look respectable. Speak in complete sentences, we never use one word greetings like "Hey" or "Yeah?" Always make eye contact, and finally, whenever you're with a customer or not, remain composed. Inside, you can be thinking about your homework, or friends, or your side business, but no one should ever know it. Because at Los Pollos Hermanos, someone... Is always watching. So dont forget to smile! Thats all for today, see you next time when we'll be discussing cleanliness.

            Breaking Bad Skyrim

              I am the one who shouts. I used to be a mild-mannered alchemist in Whiterun, until I was diagnosed with rockjoint. The healers told me I had only a few months to live. I didn't want to leave my wife and son with nothing, so I decided to use my skills to make the most potent skooma in all of Skyrim. I teamed up with a former student of mine, a Khajiit named Jesse, and we set up a secret lab in an abandoned Dwemer ruin. We had to deal with bandits, Thalmor, dragons, and even the Dark Brotherhood. But we managed to build an empire of skooma that spread across Tamriel. I became known as Heisenberg, the most feared and respected skooma lord in history. But I also became a monster, who lied, cheated, killed, and betrayed everyone who cared about me. I lost my family, my friends, and my soul. And now, I'm standing on the edge of Sovngarde, ready to face my final judgement. I don't expect any mercy from the gods. I don't deserve it. I did it for myself. I liked it. I was good at it. And I was really... I was alive.