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Anon went deer hunting

    Alright /b/, this is the story about how I went hunting for a deer with only my fucking fists.
    The only reason I reveal this to the world is because Easter reminds me of the event and I'm high as fucking shit.
    
    >Be freshly 19
    >Decide I hadn't went hunting for a long time
    >Fuck it, it's easter brek
    >No college for the break
    Decide to visits grandparents at mother's suggestion
    >Waaaaay out in the sticks
    >Spent my dats just sitting around on comfy as hell furniture
    >BUT
    >I was going hunting dammit
    inb4 hunting out off season
    >Private property
    >I'm bigger than the law
    >Got up from fur lined couch
    >Went to the fucking gun cabinet
    DOOMGuy'sBackpack.png
    >BUT WAIT
    >Grandparents out of the house to easter service at church
    >Grandpa had the keys to the fucking gun cabinet
    >Fuck you grandpa, I"m going hunting
    >Like a roll for lock picking in D&D I went to open it
    Natural fucking 1
    >Fuck
    >Think I broke the lock
    >Fuck it, I'm going hunting
    >Remember the days on /k/
    >Remember I saved some handy info graphs
    9001 scrolls later
    >Find one for a snare
    >We're in business boys.
    >Farmhouse is old and dusters than grandma's pussy at thispoint
    >Crouching as I dig for some rope
    >Find rope that could hang even the biggest of Tumblr user
    >Head out for the biggest mistake of my life
    1/?
    Cont.?

    Open the rest of the story

    >Had to go back to the house because I forgot bait
    >Wtf do deer eat
    Pic related
    >Grab some shit from kitchen and garden
    >I'm in the woods deep as fuck
    >See some tracks in the dirt
    >Fuck, not deer
    >Wait 
    >Saw more tracks
    >These were definitely for a deer
    >Feel like Arnold SquashANigger setting up traps for the Child Predator
    >Even rub  some mud on my face in sort of Rambo stye
    >Might not have been mud
    >Hard to recall
    >Anyway
    >My work is done
    >Admire the work worthy of Artemis, Master of the Hunt
    >Go off a couple yards and lie down in the grass
    >Had some sticks around me like fucking Eeyore
    >Also slight depression
    >Waited for what seems to be about 4 fucking hours
    >Only activity was a text from grandparents
    >Asking about the busted lock on the gun cabinet
    >Fuck
    >Lie and say I didn't know
    >Lie and say I left the house almost after them to wander ye olde" town
    >Never got found out 
    >But suffice to say 
    >Cabinet got replaced with safe
    All'sWellThatEndsWell.png
    >Hear a crinkle
    >As if a fatass opened up a Snickers
    >Looked up and saw a doe
    >Doe, a deer
    >A female deer
    >Fucking love that movie
    2/?
    >Hold my fucking breath
    >Watch it steadily walk towards the bait I had brought
    >Fresh, and early Strawberries and Cap'n Crunch
    >Holy fuck
    >She's taking the bait
    >You took the bait
    Kidding
    >You'll wish tho, compared to what you'll read next
    >She's bent forward and sniffing the food
    >Her front hoof goes forward
    YouActivatedMyTrapCard.jpg
    >Snaps her up quick as fuck
    >The yell she did was ear splitting
    >In an instant I was on her with more rope
    >Like a pedophile in a game of tag
    >Tackled her to the ground and got my arms around her back legs somehow while on her back
    >Holy fuck she was kicking
    >Tied it around both calfs
    >Not as easy as it sounds
    >Like holy fuck
    >Nailed me in the side of the head
    >Would've actually hurt had my body weight not been restraining her
    >But anyway
    >Tied her legs up
    >Second time was much easier
    >Backed up for a second
    >Sat in disbelief
    >Holy fuck
    >I did it
    >But then /b/
    >Then i made a horrible mistake
    3/?
    >Happy as absolute fuck I put my hand on the deer's back
    >Trying to calm it down
    >When I saw it was a doe, I first thought
    Fuck. I"m not gonna get any horns.
    >Decided if it high the snare I'd see if I could take it down and see if it was possible to hunt barehanded
    >Then probably just let it go and set up shop a ways away
    >Now I was about to let it go but I noticed something
    >Her fur felt soft and amazing
    >My heart was fucking racing from the wrestle
    >I also felt very hot
    InstantBoner.jpg
    >I looked at the deer as saw it had stopped struggling for the most part
    >I didn't even think
    >lightly guided it to a skinny, but sturdy looking tree right there
    >With more rope I tied her back, right leg to it
    >Tied rope around a tree to the left and her back, left leg
    >Pulled out my knife and cut the two rope holding together her legs
    >Quickly, but softly I fastened the rope on the left
    >She was all fucking redy
    >Couldn't move
    >Legs open
    >Inviting
    >Wet
    >I ripped of my clothes faster than superman can change in a phone both
    >Took a big, wet spit onto my
    >Diamond
    >Twitching
    >Barely contained dick
    >Like you don't even know
    >I was harder than Graphene
    >My dick was lubbed up and ready to to go
    >I swear it just went it
    >Like the sweet mix of pleasure and fear on your first water slide ride
    >The deer shivered and did a sort of moan
    >It just made me even harder
    >I get the deer twitch and grip on m y dick with every fucking thrust
    >I hit that shit like a fucking E. Honda Hyakuretsu Harite
    >I beat that shit up man
    >And the deer was loving it
    >More than once she would seize up around my dick and spasm like hell
    >Holy shit
    >Like Jacuzzi jets on all my dick
    >Before long, I had came inside with the force of a thousand suns
    (Post the file)
    >I don't know who came harder or who was panting harder
    >Me or the deer
    >Just then I discovered Satan was real
    >I had a thought that proclaimed
    She has two other holes.
    4/?
    >Using another sick I found I made a makeshift bit out of the last of my rope
    Relax PETA. She was bitting it with her back teeth. It wasn't hurting her like an actual bit.
    >Threw my already hard again dick down her mouth and felt her lounge run all across it
    >Even very gentle nibbles
    >She would had bit my dick off had the rope not been there
    >Holy fuck the feeling was eternal
    >Came faster the second time just as hard
    One last hole
    >Took the condom I had in my wallet out
    Who wants deer shit on there dick?
    >Plus it was heavily lubed
    >Went in with a bit of effort
    >Like a fucking asshole
    >Magnificent
    >Came after about 30min
    >Not much cum
    >Now my balls kinda hurt
    >The deer was in a state of pleasured euphoria
    >Deiced to cut it down
    >Just played there on the ground
    >Breathing heavily
    >But very calmly
    >Cum just dripping from her pussy
    One
    More
    Time
    Daft Punk
    >Laid down on the ground and made love just like this
    >For and hour
    >Just making sweet love
    >Took about 4hours to just lay there and cuddle the deer
    >Afterwards we fucked again
    >And I sear on everything holy
    >Her legs held me in and she pumped with me
    >Cam harder than I ever had in  my entire life
    >She came right with me
    >Before long the sun had set
    >I dressed and looked upon my lover
    >She was just sitting there
    >Watching me as I left
    >I didn't look back
    TL;DR
    I went out to hunt, and instead fucked and defiled a deer in every way imaginable. Gaining a love and longing for her that last to this day. Mix that with the guilt of knowing I fucked a deer and I an a shell of a man.
    
    Goodnight /b/.
    Arhived image of the original thread on 4chan

    /qa/ lost

      Trump lost
      Hitler lost
      The Nazis lost
      Fascist Italy lost
      Imperial Japan lost
      /pol/ lost
      /qa/ lost
      The Tsarists lost
      The Confederacy lost
      Q was wrong
      The capitol riots failed
      Ashli Babbitt died like a bitch
      Trump was not reinstated
      Trump will be imprisoned for being a traitor
      There will never be another Republican president ever again
      Proud boys are being tortured in prison
      Derek Chauvin was found guilty on all charges
      Gavin Newsom was not recalled
      Vaccines and masks work
      The Right lost the culture war
      Black Lives Matter
      Trans movement has been a total success
      Being transgender is more socially acceptable than you
      You are being bred out
      You are being phased out
      You are being replaced
      Your kind is on the way to extinction
      The rate of suicide in the US is highest in middle-aged white men
      You will forever be an example of what not to do to have a functional society
      You will never have sex
      You will die alone
      :) 

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        What the actual *FUCK* is this thread?

          What the actual *FUCK* is this thread? There used to be facilities built just to remove and house patients like this away from society, and even then most of those patients didn’t exhibit this kind of deluded and anti social behavior. Who or what the fuck even raised you people? This fucking website isn’t your mental daycare. You either have too much time on your hands in which case you need to meet and make friends, or you’re genuinely sick and need to meet and make friends with doctors. It’s frightening to even think you people are out there. Fuck off 

          Total Nigger Death (TND)

            Started from 4chan during the Black Lives Matter (BLM) protest, the copypasta calls for the extermination of black people. It became a popular meme due to its unhinge nature and has evolved into many different variations.

            Kill niggers. Behead niggers. Roundhouse kick a nigger into the concrete. Slam dunk a nigger baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy blacks. Defecate in a niggers food. Launch niggers into the sun. Stir fry niggers in a wok. Toss niggers into active volcanoes. Urinate into a niggers gas tank. Judo throw niggers into a wood chipper. Twist niggers heads off. Report niggers to the IRS. Karate chop niggers in half. Curb stomp pregnant black niggers. Trap niggers in quicksand. Crush niggers in the trash compactor. Liquefy niggers in a vat of acid. Eat niggers. Dissect niggers. Exterminate niggers in the gas chamber. Stomp nigger skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate niggers in the oven. Lobotomize niggers. Mandatory abortions for niggers. Grind nigger fetuses in the garbage disposal. Drown niggers in fried chicken grease. Vaporize niggers with a ray gun. Kick old niggers down the stairs. Feed niggers to alligators. Slice niggers with a katana. 

            Longer version

            Kill niggers. Behead niggers. Roundhouse kick a nigger into the concrete. Slam dunk a nigger baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy blacks. Defecate in a niggers food. Launch niggers into the sun. Stir fry niggers in a wok. Toss niggers into active volcanoes. Urinate into a niggers gas tank. Judo throw niggers into a wood chipper. Twist niggers heads off. Report niggers to the IRS. Karate chop niggers in half. Curb stomp pregnant black niggers. Trap niggers in quicksand. Crush niggers in the trash compactor. Liquefy niggers in a vat of acid. Eat niggers. Dissect niggers. Exterminate niggers in the gas chamber. Stomp nigger skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate niggers in the oven. Lobotomize niggers. Mandatory abortions for niggers. Grind nigger fetuses in the garbage disposal. Drown niggers in fried chicken grease. Vaporize niggers with a ray gun. Kick old niggers down the stairs. Feed niggers to alligators. Slice niggers with a katana. Put a bomb in a nigger's mouth. Throw knives at niggers. Inflate niggers until they pop. Send niggers into a blackhole. Castrate niggers. Feed niggers poisoned food. Force niggers to walk the plank. Push niggers into a pit. Kneel on a nigger's neck. Curse niggers with a spell. Stuff nigger babies into the washing machine and turn it on. Flatten niggers with a tank. Pop a nigger's car tire. Strike nigger children with a ruler. Make niggers swim in the Mariana Trench. Cut off a nigger's limbs. Airdrop niggers into Antarctica. Throw niggers off the boat. Pressurize niggers into fine crystals. Light fireworks in a nigger's ass. Falcon-punch a nigger in the face. Make niggers into fiction. Blow niggers heads off with grenade launchers. Blow niggers brains open with a sniper rifle. Lock niggers in a cage and drown them underwater. Nail niggers to a cross and stab them. Run over niggers with a tank feet-first. Crush niggers with a press. Attack niggers with acid. Boil niggers in a pan. Lock niggers inside a brazen bull. Burn niggers alive. Drag niggers across a wall of spikes. Pour molten lava on niggers. Quarter niggers. Impale niggers on a pike. Tenderize niggers with a mallet. Ionise niggers in a mass spectrometer. Irradiate niggers in a nuclear reactor. Spaghettify niggers in a black hole. Curse niggers with the necronomicon. Trap niggers in purgatory. Bang a niggers testicles with a spiked bat. Throw niggers off a twelve story building. Freeze dry niggers in the vacuum of space. Fry niggers with power lines. Feed niggers ricin. Kneecap a nigger with a twelve gauge. Re enslave niggers. Sell niggers organs on the black market. Run niggers over with an eighteen wheeler. Throw niggers into the grand canyon. Burn niggers with jet engine exhaust. Beat niggers to death with a tire iron. Cauterise a niggers asshole with a blowtorch. Sacrifice niggers to the sun god. Drop niggers out of a plane at fourty thousand feet. Feed niggers to sharks. Load a nigger into a cannon and shoot the nigger at a concrete wall. Keel Haul niggers under a galleon. Disembowel niggers with a bayonet. Strap a nigger to a cruise missile and launch it at a nigger neighbourhood. Drop niggers into chernobyl reactor building number 4. Hang, draw, and quarter niggers. Lure niggers in with fried chicken and trap them with bear traps. Force a nigger to learn calculus, then kill the nigger anyway. Atomize niggers with a powerfist. Throw niggers into vats full of FEV virus. Choke niggers with barbed wire. Throw pianos at niggers from 40-story buildings. Throw niggers at pianos from 40-story buildings. Deep-freeze niggers in liquid nitrogen then shatter them with a hammer. Tie niggers to ICBMs then fire them at Israel. Shoot niggers with syringe guns. Defecate on nigger food stamps. Make niggers pay child support in blood. Build a newton cannon and fire niggers into the orbit. Put advertisement posters on niggers then nail them to their bodies with a hammer. Irradiate niggers with depleted uranium. Launch a nigger with a trebuchet. Send a nigger exploring titanic in a cheap submarine. Use a nigger as a crash test dummy. Tie niggers onto growing bamboo shoots. Film an entire jackass movie on a nigger. Trample niggers. Bury niggers alive. Play bowling with niggers heads as pins. Grate niggers with a cheese grater. Get niggers stuck in an elevator. Spray a niggers toilet paper with poison ivy. Shoot a nigger directly with the Gustav gun. Sabotage a niggers parachute. Sabotage a niggers bungee. Trap a nigger under ice. Force a nigger to work and support a family of 5. Force niggers into gladiatorial combat. Send niggers back to warring African tribes. Hide a snake in a niggers room. Put niggers on a hot air balloon with low gas. Harvest a niggers organs. Waterboard niggers with gasoline, then set them on fire. Flay niggers. Tie niggers to train tracks. Put laxatives in their koolaid. Recreate mortal kombat fatalities on niggers. Gibbet niggers. Tie a lightning rod to a niggers head during a storm. Lure niggers into suicide pods. Bury niggers neck deep and surround them with scorpions. Clear a mine field by sending niggers to it. Stir niggers into cement. Squeeze niggers through a chain link fence. Hack niggers socials and make them say they have irrefutable evidence that would lead to Hillary's arrest. Perform adorcism on a nigger. Microwave a niggers head. Suck a nigger into pool drainage ass first. Pour nitroglycerin inside a niggers basketball. Inject ebola in its food. Put a chubby nigger in a tribe of cannibals. Pressure wash niggers black skin. Play games with niggers jigsaw style. Trim a niggers nose hairs with a lawn mower. Strap a nigger to a wind turbine blade. Flatten a nigger in an industrial rolling machine. Turn a niggers bones into furniture. Make minced meat out of a nigger and serve nigga patties to other niggers. Feed a nigger viagra and put an activated sawblade in front of its dick. Disguise a thermally activated lightsaber as a niggers dildo. Stone niggers. Tranquilize niggers and put them in lion pits. Make a subhuman centipede from niggers. Throw a nigger down a well. Prescribe incorrect medication to niggers. Pimp-slap niggers into airplane turbines. Displace niggers in a predicted meteoroid contact area. Gift a nigger a lethal dose of fentanyl. Put dog collars on niggers at maximum voltage. Give niggers sentient brain parasites. Give niggers over to aliens in area 51 to be probed. Leave niggers out for vultures. Drive a nigger into a tornado with a remote controlled vehicle. Do freaky voodoo on a nigger. Strap niggers on a roller-coaster and use them as target practice. Strap niggers to a judas cradle. Blast niggers with Civil War cannons. Crucify filthy niggers. Whip niggers into obedience. Slingshot a nigger into orbit. Rocket niggers into the sun. Stir-fry niggers in a wok. Bite a nigger and drink their blood. Urinate into a nigger's gas tank. Judo throw niggers into the wood chipper. Unscrew a nigger's head off. Bake niggers into nigger-pizza. Arrest niggers for no reason. Electrocute niggers. Curb stomp pregnant niggers. Beat a nigger up. Slice a nigger up and wear their skin. Set niggers on fire. Spin niggers around until they puke. Tie niggers to a train track. Karate kick a nigger in the testicles. Stomp nigger skulls with steel-toed boots. Broil niggers into a broth. Deep fry niggers. Fourth-trimester abortions for niggers. Blend niggers in a blender. Snap a nigger's neck. Throw niggers off buildings. Send aliens to abduct niggers. Force niggers to ride the euthanasia coaster. Crush niggers with anvils. Throw niggers off of rooftops. Incinerate niggers. Starve niggers. Blow niggers up with dynamite. Gulp niggers. Feast on nigger eyeballs. Cave in a nigger's skull. Kiss a nigger to death. Peel a nigger like a banana. Wipe out nigger tribes. Deny niggers into Heaven. Freeze niggers in the vaccum of space. Hard boil a nigger. Lock on to niggers with a harpoon. Cryodesiccate a nigger. Ferment niggers into stew. Ensnare niggers. Nark on niggers to the army. Cause a total nigger purge. Jam a nigger into a geyser. Axe murder a nigger. Unleash Smelvin upon niggers. Put niggers on ships going to Africa and blow up the ships after they set sail. Total nigger death.

            Dear 4chan

              Dear 4chan,
              
              Congratulations, you got a reaction from users. That's what you wanted, right? Well, I've decided I don't like people like you. You've messed with the community of the wrong psychopath. Before you get excited, you haven't even made me angry. I am a hard person to make angry. However, I despise people like you.
              
              Your pitiful hacking skills are hilarious. Hacking accounts and putting up proxies are level 1. Can you hack into encrypted files? Can you tear through firewalls without leaving a mark? Your silly little proxy won't protect you. I have hacked into many computers and spied on the users. I've hacked into games. I've been hacking since I had a computer. It's what I was raised to do.
              
              You have no idea to the extent of fear which you should be feeling. All you are is just a community of internet creeps. Have you ever murdered anyone? I have no empathy and I will probably feel joy peeling your skin off your face.
              
              You think I'm giving you an empty threat? Believe that. I have contacts in dark places that you don't want to know about. If you live even close to me you better fear for your life.
              
              Track my IP if you want to, but I am smart enough to use a library computer. Hack into my account if you want, but it'll just make it easier for me to track you.
              
              With love, A psychopath
              
              PS. I would fear for your life while you still have it.

              Open Dear landlubbers version

              Dear landlubbers
              
              Congratulations, You've stolen me rum. That's what you wanted, right? Well see here, I've decided I don't sail with people like you. You've messed with the wrong Cap'n o' the seven seas. Before you get excited, you haven't even found me treasure. I am a hard person to steal from. However, I despise people like you.
              
              Your pitiful pirating skills are hilarious. Sinking ships and shooting cannons are level 1. Can you board a ship all by yourself? Can you rob a port blind without leavin' a trace? Your silly little galley won't protect you. I have plundered Man O' Wars. I've been plundering since I had a rowboat. It's what I was raised to do.
              
              You have no idea to the extent of fear which you should be feeling. All you are is just a bunch of Landlubbers with no gold. Have you ever swashbuckled someone? I have no empathy and will enjoy rubbing my gold in your face.
              
              You think I'm giving you an empty chest? Believe that. I have crews in dark places that you don't want to know about. If you sail even close to me you better fear for your life.
              
              Sink my ship if you want to, but I'm smart enough to swim. Steal my gold if you want, but it'll just make it easier for me to catch you.
              
              With love,
              
              Cap'n Blackbeard
              
              P.S. I would spend your loot while you still have it.

              Open Dear ruffians version

              Dear ruffians,
              
              I congratulate thee, you have attained a display of feelings from my serfs. That is what you wanted, right? Well, I, George Talbot, Duke of Tumbleville, have made the decision that I do not enjoy the company of ruffians such as yourselves. You have trifled with the peasants of the wrong Duke. Before you get excited, you haven't even seen me tax my underlings. I am loathe to tax them, However, I despise bandits like you.
              
              Your pitiful swordsman skills are hilarious. Decapitations and using a shield are level 1. Can you command armies? Can you tear through village walls with naught but your bare hands?
              
              Your silly little wooden shield will not protect you. I have hacked apart kingdoms. I've been parlaying with the sword since I had the title of Duke. It is what I was raised to do.
              
              You have not the slightest idea to the extent of fear which you should be experiencing. You are just mountain bandits with wooden clubs. Have you ever dueled with someone?
              
              I have no need for knights, and I will enjoy throwing you in my dungeons.
              
              You think I'm bluffing? Believe what you will. I have contacts in high places that you don't want to know about. If you even go into the same kingdom as me you better fear for your life.
              
              Raid my storage houses if you want to, but I am smart enough not to give my peasants food. Try to climb into my castle if you want, but it will just make it easier for me to duel you.
              
              With strong feelings of lust,
              
              George Talbot, Duke of Tumbleville
              
              P.S. I would buy a better shield while you still can.