4chan copypasta

Doritos Dew it right ERROR! Please drink a verification can

‘Doritos Dew it right!’ started as a 4chan post in 2013 describing our dystopian future ruled by corporations and ads. The copypasta has since became more popular due to the prevalence of ads in the internet and social media.

-2018

-wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games

-excited to play some halo 2k19

-"xbox on"

-...

-"XBOX ON"

-"Please verify that you are "annon332" by saying "Doritos™ Dew™ it right!"

-"Doritos™ Dew™ it right"

-"ERROR! Please drink a verification can"

-reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k19™ War Chest

-only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night

-still feeling sick from the 14

-force it down and grumble out "mmmm that really hit the spot"

-xbox does nothing

-i attempt to smile

-"Connecting to verification server"

-...

-"Verification complete!"

-finally

-boot up halo 2k19

-finding multiplayer match...

-"ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!"

-my mother just walked in the room

-"Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?"

-"NO!"

-"Console entering lock state!"

-"to unlock drink verification can"

-last can

-"WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card"

-drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick

-pour the last half out the window

-"PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE"

-the mountain dew ad plays

-i have to dance for it -feeling so sick

-makes me sing along

-dancing and singing

-"mountain dew is for me and you"

-throw up on my self

-throw up on my tv and entertainment system

-router shorts

-"ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF"

-"PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE"

Bottomless pit supervisor

The ‘Bottomless pit supervisor’ came from an AI written 4chan story where a guy working as a bottomless pit supervisor one day discovers that the pit isn’t bottomless.

>be me

>bottomless pit supervisor

>in charge of making sure the bottomless pit is, in fact, bottomless

>occasionally have to go down there and check if the bottomless pit is still bottomless

>one day I go down there and the bottomless pit is no longer bottomless

>the bottom of the bottomless pit is now just a regular pit

>distress.jpg

>ask my boss what to do

>he says "just make it bottomless again"

> I say "how"

>he says "I don't know, you're the supervisor"

>rage.jpg

>quit my job

>become a regular pit supervisor

>first day on the job, go to the new hole

>its bottomless

There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again!

Origin

‘There he is. There he goes again.’ copypasta originated from 4chan all the way back in 2014 when a user was replying to an unfunny meme.

There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn’t he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Banana thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don’t even fill in the captcha. Maybe you’re such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The “epic” Banana guy, isn’t it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it’s ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that’s right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she’s probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about a fucking banana. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Bananafag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can’t even try to talk with you because all you say is “I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS PICTURE.” You’ve become a parody of your own self. And that’s all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he’s done a million times now. And that’s all you’ll ever be.

Pineapple greentext

>Be me
>Be 16
>New school, introduced to class
>Meet guy who is an asshole, let's call him Shitgut >Shitgut tries to start bullying me
>Be alpha and resist
>Don't make many friends, don't need them
>Notice Shitgut bullies other kids
>Decide to fuck him up
>Figure where his locker is
>Wait until school is over, follow him home from a safe distance, unseen >Mark down where he lives, GTFO
>Find out he does hockey, figure out where his ice rink is, and what time he trains >Spend six months practically stalking that fuck, making sure I don't get caught
>Map out where he is at any time, at all times
>Then proceed to phase two, buy a pineapple
>On a day I get off school earlier than he does, bike to his house and leave the pineapple at the door >His parents ain't home for hours, seen by nobody
>He tells people about the pineapple tomorrow, nobody cares
>Two weeks later, sneak a pineapple at the ice rink, in the men's dressing room
>People think he's making it up
>Start buying a pineapple on a regular basis, always have it ready when opportunity strikes
>Hallway empty, pick his locker and leave a pineapple
>His motorbike is unwatched, leave a pineapple
>He doesn't mention the pineapples to anyone anymore
>Figure out where they keep his home's spare key
>Skip school, sneak into his home while his parents work
>Leave a pineapple on his bed
>Hear he's failing classes
>His parents put up a security camera, I figure the blind spot and dodge that shit >Send him a fucking pineapple for christmas through the mail from a fake address >He doesn't show up to school every day anymore
>Don't even think about why I do it anymore, it's just for shits and giggles now >Bombard that fuck with random pineapples every few weeks for two fucking years >School year ends, finish school
>Go to college like a boss
>Come back home for the holidays
>Hear someone from my old school had had a panic attack at the grocery store >It's Shitgut.
>Someone had left a fucking pineapple on the beer shelf

Anon goes to college with a gaming laptop

>first day of college
>walk into Computer Science 101 class
>look around, normie MacBooks and pleb laptops abound
>reach into backpack
>summon up all my strength
>powerlift my gaming laptop onto the desk
>catch my breathe for a moment
>reach into my backpack again
>once again summon my strength
>pull out the charging cable (the laptop only lasts 5 minutes without a charge)
>drop it onto the desk, a loud THUMP echoes throughout the classroom and into the hallways >the classroom is now staring in awe of the monster I've just unleashed
>plug the cable in, sparks fly as though Zeus himself blessed the connection
>classmates look on in horror as I open the laptop >as I hover my finger towards the power button, some students begin trying to escape the room >but there is no escape
>press the power button
>RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Related to the ‘I hate gaming laptop‘ pasta

This is the pinnacle of German humour and it’s pathetic

4chan "This is the pinnacle of German humour" origin

This is the pinnacle of German humour and it's pathetic. I can imagine him snorting to himself as he typed this, as if this was an absolute spirit bomb of a comment, and then reading it out loud in his disgusting language "schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung" before falling into a coughing fit from the laughter. I almost pity him.