If my penis gets hard and decides that it wants sex but I don't, am I still required to have sex anyway? If that violates my consent, does that mean my penis is raping me? And on the flip side, if I violate my penis rights by using viagra, does that mean I'm raping my own penis?
The year is 2120
I've received my pink money from my beautiful and powerful female boss at my pink job so I can go buy some pink food at the pink grocery store.
Jonesing for a fruit salad
Approach a pink employee
"Excuse me where are the oranges?"
I realized my mistake too late
"I-I mean the pinks, where are the pinks at? haha"
The pink police arrive almost immediately
"This here is the rapist ma'am?"
"Yes, that's him"
10 years minimum in the absence of green penitentiary for sexual assault
It's okay I guess. Anything for equality as my mom's once said.
i am a gay man and i accidentally masturbated to straight porn. i was browsing a gay porn site, so you know, i figured there wouldn't be any women in my gay porn. i found one video whose thumbnail looked promising so i clicked on it and it started mid-sex. the bottom was facedown into the bed in some black lace dress. that should have been a big warning sign, but i assumed it was some sissy fetish thing. not my cup of tea, but the top was hot and really going to town on her so i stuck around.
after the guy (and i) finished, the girl sat up and that's when i saw it... her tits. you should have seen my face. a visage of true terror. i just sat there in shock, contemplating what i had just done. when i broke free of my stupor, i whispered "no hetero" but i fear it wasn't enough
９７％ ｏｆ ｔｅｅｎａｇｅｒｓ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｃｒｙ ｉｆ ｔｈｅｙ ｓａｗ Ｊｕｓｔｉｎ Ｂｉｅｂｅｒ ｏｎ ａ ｔｏｗｅｒ ａｂｏｕｔ ｔｏ ｊｕｍｐ． Ｉｆ ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｏｎｅ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ３％ ｓｉｔｔｉｎｇ ｔｈｅｒｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｐｏｐｃｏｒｎ， Ｓｃｒｅａｍｉｎｇ ＂ＤＯ Ａ ＢＡＣＫＦＬＩＰ＂ ｔｈｅｎ ｃｏｐｙ ａｎｄ ｐａｓｔｅ ｔｈｉｓ ｔｏ ａｌｌ ｙｏｕｒ ｄｉｓｃｏｒｄ ｓｅｒｖｅｒｓ
Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I'm gonna keep it short and sweet because I just came back from the hospital. Yesterday my friend John and I went to one of the clubs that recently opened up after the lock down. We were drinking and dancing and in general having a great time, considering it was just two lads at the club. Suddenly I notice a bag of pillies on the floor. The degenerate inside me gets almost an instant boner. So I pick the pills up and try to ascertain what they might be. I flip the pills to check for markings and in huge letters appeared the word "ROCHE". So I decided to google what they were, and lo and behold, I realized I had just stumbled upon some motherfucking roofies.
First I felt a little disgusted. Finding roofies on the floor of a club? Fuck this was almost 100% going to be used for something nefarious. Then, I felt a little relieved - this motherfucker just lost his rape pills thank fuck. Then, I felt a little excited - cuz they call me the boofmaster in my social circle (I hang out with other degenerates obviously) and I had never boofied a roofie.
So I immediately dip from the club. Tell John that I gotta get my boof on and he understood immediately. I go home and proceed to put an entire pill in my ass. Now, I have no idea how strong these were but holy shit. They knocked me on my ass almost immediately (no pun intended). I was quickly becoming incoherent so I decided to go to bed. Next thing I remember is waking up to three shadows above my head looking very concerned. One was my dad, the other two were nurses. I'm still in a pretty confused state of mind so I try to get up and see that what's happening. After I regain some coherence, I get updated on what has happened. Apparently my Dad came into my room late at night only to find me with my pants undone and drooling like a fucking mad man and my eyes rolled up. He freaked the fuck out and called the EMT on me. Everything is better now, but I still can't face my dad because he found the bag of pills and the EMT explained to him what they were, as well as the mode of ingestion. FUCK. Wish me luck boys, I have to go out for a family trip with him soon.
People who say no u make me want to throw up. When i’m having a valiant argument with the scum of the internet and they say no u, I want the ground to shake where they fall and swallow them up again. Fuck you you useless piece of unwanted crappy smelly trash. Why don’t you come up with a better response than no u you fucking idiot. Your parents probably hate you for your lack of vocabulary. You probably sit and act like a retard because of your lack of vocabulary skills. Fuck you. People who say No U are the fucking scum of the earth. Come up with better comebacks you simpleton. Kill yourself while your at it you mother fucker. Come at me next time with a better response tou peasant. I deserve a better response instead of just no u you fucking clown. I’m waiting for a well written response pussy. Thank you cunt.