Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades.
Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.
You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now.
Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.
You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
Please God, I want to impregnate Belle Delphine so bad. I want her to bear my children with those beautiful child-bearing hips. That beautiful, radiant angel. Like a goddess, having come down to Earth to cleanse us of our sins.
Belle Delphine is beyond divine. I can't help but drop to my knees in worship whenever I see her beautiful figure even though it's behind that unnecessary gym clothes. I yearn for her in a way both Primal and spiritual. I would commit more war crimes than every president in United States history just to lick the sweet, glistening sweat from her smooth, creamy skin. I want to listen to her moans as my manhood throbs within her, I want to hear her heart race as our bodies become one and our souls irreversibly intertwine in the holy sin of carnal union.
I want to suckle at her motherly bosom, slurping that rich juche milk from her teat as she gently strokes my raging erection. I would stir her velvety cream into my coffee and let my balls boil in it. Her cries of pleasure and the rocking of our bed would be louder than the cacophony of ten thousand drone strikes. I would make love to her until my body gave out, and then some. I would let her break my rib cage with any part of her body. I would let her hit me with her car just to be near her for a brief moment.
She's so perfect it hurts. Every moment without her I suffer a pain worse than breaking every bone in my body simultaneously while drowning and also having shards of glass coated in hot sauce forced through every orifice of my body. I want her, I need her. I want to desecrate her crisp general suit. I want to start a family with her and retire after our twenty seven children have grown up and moved out. I want to see those luscious lips speak such filthy, perverse words into my ear while she slides ice cubes down my gaping pisshole.
I want to fuck her like she owes me money. I would let her step on me, just to feel the soft, firm warmth of her feet upon my face and groin area. I would sleep under her just to catch her drool in my mouth. I would fish the strands of hair from her shower drain just to smell her alluring scent, and braid them into necklaces to keep her with me always. Or cock rings. Whichever would please her more.
God please, I would do anything for her. I would relinquish my life, all my hopes and dreams, just to become the socks on her feet so that I may warm her mouthwatering toes with my very being, so that she may feel the heat of my love always. I would encase myself in cement and become her doorstep, so that she may wipe her heels upon my face. I would tear my own limbs off. I don't know what l'd do after that, or why she might want my limbs. But I would do it.
My queen, my goddess, the light of my life. Please God, let me have her. I want her to be mine and only mine. I would lick the Doritos dust from her fingers and fill her belly button with honey mustard to dip my tendies in. I would give her a sponge-bath with my tongue every morning and serve her breakfast in bed. I would let her eat her eggs and pancakes off my body if it pleased her, no matter how painful the third-degree burns would be.
I would bear the torment of eternal damnation until the end of time to taste the seat of her car but once. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her, nothing wouldn't say. I would beat my own friend to death with my engorged penis if it would bring a smile to Belle Delphine’s shining face. I wouldn't even let myself Cum until she gave me permission.
I love you, Belle Delphine. Please. Be mine. Be my wife, my Lover, my mommy, my everything. Say yes. Answer my calls, respond to my letters. Something. Give me a sign, Belle. I'm waiting for you.
I’ll always be waiting for you.
📷nsfw
I’m going to try to keep this short and sweet. Today was my birthday. I was getting into it with my wife. She likes anal, I like giving it to her. Needless to say, after a good bit of foreplay I’m inside her rear. Get a couple drinks in me, I like some light anal play myself.
Wife suggests the dildo for myself. I think to myself (in my half-baked drunken stuper) why not? I’m not a small guy and with plenty of lube she enjoys the hell out of so I’m sure I can enjoy it. Wrong
Ouch.. ouch ouch ouch OUCH. Jesus my ass still hurts. It’s not a big dildo, and she’s taking me like nothing.
How the fuck does she do it? I’ve torn her the hell up and she just loves every second. I tapped out in under 5. My wife is the greatest, and I will never under-appreciate sodomy again.
Twitch needs a option where you can block female streamers from your recommended.
I just want to watch Fallout streams man. I'm not trying to bust a nut to cat maid cosplay girls.
I got no problem with females. I just don't want to see a girl wearing a maid outfit trying to show me upskirt in my recommended.
I've blocked 108 of them, and there's just more and more.
I've been trying to get it to stop, but it never ends.
I just want to watch a fallout stream without being recommended some chick trying to milk a click out of me.
Look. Maybe no blocking females.. Just a filter to block anyone with a webcam? Can I at least have that mercy? These girls can pretty much kill a virgin
No rape, no ugly fat 50 year old pedophile, no bdsm, no fetishes, no tentacles, completely normal sex, not a harem (although they can be done well), just a couple showing how much they love each other. And its romantic, cute, and feels genuine. I have only seen one other hentai do this, but this has one advatage over it. The dialogue is absolutely positively perfect. Instead of the girl saying "OH MY GOSH ONI CHAN, YOUR SEXUAL REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN IS CURRENTlY ENTERING THE PART OF MY BODY USED FOR SEXUAL REPRODUCTION IN A PLEASURABLE WAY" every 0.0000000002 nano seconds screaming it in an annoying voice, the conversations during the sex actually work perfectly. They talk about how much they love each other, and only briefly, lemme say it again, BRIEFLY mention how it feels every seconds or so. And they only talk occasionally making the situation more intimate. Ladies and Gentleman, the perfect hentai.
