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The bullies at your school keep making fun of your one inch penis

    You're so done. The bullies at your school keep making fun of your one inch penis in the locker rooms. You turn to them, eyes narrowing. They see the hurt and angry look in your eyes and start to tease you, asking if you're going to cry. You suddenly remember a gift that God gave you for these situations. You puff your chest up and fire a laser from one of your erect nipples. It hits one of them in the eye, going through their head. Brain matter explodes everywhere. The others look horrified as you start shooting more nipple lasers in their direction. You hit more vital spots. Blood, cum, and guts are all over the locker room now. You stop and look around.

You've done it.

They're dead.

You're still not happy.

You unzip your pants and get some fun in while their bodies are still warm. How do they like your one inch penis now?

    my son is a terrorist

      TL;DR my son is a Terrorist!

I walked in on my son playing a video g* me, I was furious! He explained to me that he has to play this g* me called Counter Strike Global Offensive to kill Terrorists and prevent a Bomb from detonating! I was so proud of my patriotic and truly american son for killing these Terrorists that I forgave him for playing a video g* me!

Nevertheless I was suspicious, it is a video g* me! I spied on him for about 30 minutes and then I saw it, I SAW IT!!! HE WAS PLAYING AS A TERRORIST, MY SON LIED TO ME. HE TRIED TO HIDE THAT HE LIKES KILLING PEOPLE AND THAT HE LIKES BLOWING EVERYTHING UP!!! He thought that he could trick me, but I know the truth about my son and g* mers:

THEY ARE TERRORISTS and this g* me called Counter Strike Global Offensive is nothing but a hub to spread their believs and evil plans!

Ban video games now! Save your children from this evil g* me!

      I found a mobile g*me on my son’s phone, he and his friends have all been punished

        I found a mobile g*me on my son’s phone, he and his friends have all been punished

My son (13M) was recently given his own iPhone 11 meant only for contacting me, his mother, and his friends. Today, I found a disgusting g*me on his phone called something like “Mindcraft”.

I immediately deleted the app and threw his phone in the trash. I later found remains from a Satanic ritual he performed in his bedroom, and I am certain this “Minekraft” controlled his mind. He was also watching a terrible g*ming show on YouTube called “PewDieGuy” which I have now blocked.

He is no longer able to leave his room, and I’ve contacted all his friends’ parents about this, it seems like this g*me is an epidemic. They, too, are all being punished as well. I am very disappointed and I don’t think he will see the light for a long time.

        Found on r/pokimane

          I admire her bravery so much. I dont have children but every day i practice talking to my future daughters across the table and telling them about how great Pokimane is. I tell them "sweety, you're a pokimane". I literally turned her name into a word that describes beauty, bravery, and poise.

I practice driving my future daughters to school and play highlights of pokimanes best laughs over the years. Sometimes we even have to pull over because we start crying from how much we love her. I hold my imaginary daughters and i howl. i howl and cry and rage into the steering wheel about how special she is, and how the world just cant understand.

          I think my grandpa might be a gamer 😳

            Whoa guys 😳 I think 🤔 my grandfather 😮 might be a gamer 🎮

I found a richtofen cosplay 😎🧐 from cod zombies 🧟‍♂️ in his closet 🚪it's even got the 卐 epic zombies symbol 卐 on the arm 💪 which tells me he's a classic 🛂🎮 gamer 😏 b/c they stopped using that 卐 symbol b/c it looks 👀 too much like a windmill 🌬️ and windmill ⚡ companies and farmers 🌽👨‍🌾 were getting mad 😒

He's even got a bunch of pics 🖼️ of him and some friends dressed up 😜 but the pics must be photoshopped 🤔 cuz he looks younger 🧒 also who ever took the picture 🖼️ def didn't make sure they were ready 🙄 b/c they're all pointing up with their whole hands ✋old people are weird 😂

🎮 Game on grandpa! 卐

            My girlfriend has this police fantasy but as a libertarian it really bothers me.

              I posted this to r/libertarian but it got removed, thought here would be better. Ideally there would be an r/libertarianBDSM where we fight against government restriction on the sale and ownership of sex toys, but I digress.

My girlfriend, a sub, wants me to handcuff her, and enact this fantasy of giving her a strip search, moving onto a cavity search, in which I become suspicious and conduct a “further investigation using my penis” (her words). While I am very much attracted to her, my libertarian ideals mean that I just don’t think I can consent to this scene. The idea of my very own girlfriend giving into and being taken advantage of by a piggy (law enforcement officer) just makes me totally soft. Plus with the symbolism of getting fucked by a cop rattling around in my head I don’t think I’ll be able to focus on cumming.

I want to make her happy, this has been a long time fantasy of hers, but I just can’t get over the idea of my girlfriend being a bootlicker, let alone take advantage and blow my load thanks to the oppressive power structures that benefit government thugs.