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Let’s have a stern conversation, son

    Let's have a stern conversation about masturbation, son. If you're going to do it while mom and dad are home, can you at least shut the door, and not be so loud about it? For god's sake, if you're going to watch pornography, at least put in headphones, we don't want to hear that shit through the Bluetooth speaker. I don't want to know that my fourteen-year-old son is into scat porn. I didn't need to hear that, but now the whole family knows. Grandma was over visiting. She was down in the dining room, eating a biscuit, drinking some tea, and the next thing we know, the Bluetooth speaker starts playing this crazy scat porn. We heard all sorts of women moaning, and fart sounds, and what can only be described as poop being used as lubricant for somebody's penis. It was distasteful. It probably didn't taste very good, because shit as far as I know, doesn't have a good flavor. I tried your mother's shit one time, and it was not that great. It was fine, probably 3/10 at best, but I wouldn't recommend it. If it was served to me on a plate, I wouldn't return to that restaurant. I would say, "You know what. This chef, he did not do his best. This shit, subpar. Not the greatest."

    An elderly woman has been messaging people

      WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING PEOPLE, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 11 IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK WON'T TURN OFF.

      No, I don’t think it was a “gg”

        No, I don't think this was a "Good Game"
        It was not “gg”
        No, I don't think this was a "Good Game", in fact I wouldn't consider it a game. A true game would take into consideration both sides of the player's skill developed throughout their hours spend in said game, as well as the entertainment value which is taken into consideration when said players wish to engage into the game, mostly known as "fun". What you did here was not only create an unhealthy environment which completly removed the entertaining part of the game and turned into a fight between your twisted view of "fun" against the actual meaning of said word, you also forced the players that interacted with you to not have the ability to demonstrate their developed skills acquired in spending their time into the game. With these facts in consideration, I think it's safe to say that what happened here couldn't even be called a "game", we both have basically dissapeared from existence for that match's duration, since this is the only correct way of explaining what was that destruction of what can be called a "game".

        POV You’re a redditor and see an emoji

          It was a bright day. I woke up at 3 pm after a long night of humping my Zero Two body pillow. I get out of my bed, as I get up I smell the buildup of sweat and bacteria that have built up on the mattress as I have not showered in the past 2 months. I go to the shower. I notice that my zero two body pillow is sticked on my back. Probably because of the huge amounts of cum on her. I gently remove her from my back. The cum is hard and it pulled a chunk of my back hair. After I finish showering I shave my beard very elegantly. It's beautiful... You can't tell where the beard ends and my chest hair starts. 4chan would be proud of me. I waddle my big choker body to the kitchen. I eat 69 chicken tenders (nice) with honey mussy. I take a big sip of mountain dew and waddle my elegant chungus body to my room. I go to reddit r/Aww to look at some animals as I have not gone outside in the last 2 years. I saw very cute animals, it almost made me say "Wholesome 100" out loud. But then I saw something unimaginable. Something that has completely ruined the post, no, my whole day. I see that the title has emojis in it. I scratch my beard thinking of what I should do... I am way to intelligent to not do anything or to just move on. No. This deserves justice. I think about the current state of reddit and of it's downfal. I see flashbacks of a year ago when it was good, before the insta normies took over and normalised the use of emojis. I remember when we used to make fun of them. Thinking about how they ruined reddit for me makes me angry. But I do not want to step down to their level. I simply comment "Reddit law requiers i downvote for excessive emoji usage". I post my comment. Another insta normie owned. I quietly say "based". I am satisfied.

          You have this three pound organ in your skull

            You have this three pound organ in your skull that is so fucking amazing that it literally defies the laws of it's own construction and you use it to watch the Bachelor and be a cunt.

            WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, ONII-CHAN?

              BITCHES IN HENTAI BE LIKE: "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, ONII-CHAN?~"

YOUR HUGE FUCKING TITS. HOW ARE YOU STILL WALKING? DOES YOUR ALSO ASTRONOMICALLY HUGE ASS COUNTERACT THE WEIGHT OF THOSE MONSTROUS MILK JUGS? YOU'RE A PROPORTIONAL ANOMALY AND I'M GENIUENLY FASCINATED BY YOUR CONTINUED EXISTENCE.