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The first time I saw you I couldn’t take my eyes off you

    Pokimane the queen of simps
    The first time I saw you I couldn't take my eyes off you. In school I was always there for you when assholes you dated treated you with 1% of the respect I have for you in 1% of my heart alone. I always offered to pay for your lunch even when you were dating other guys. When you wanted to go out because an asshole had broke up with you and you needed to take your mind off it and I was busy I made time for you, but I also respected you when you were busy. In tenth grade when I masturbated for the first time I didn't think of pornstars like other guys but I thought of you. At prom you were the only one I wanted to take but you went with a douche who had asked another girl before you. That's the reason I didn't go because I couldn't go with you. I never told you this before but you've gone as far as you need to with all the assholes you date. I'll be the last guy you ever date. Because we will never break up. A brother wouldn't do any of this but that's what you call me?!?!?!?!

    When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15

      To be fair...
      When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.

      h-hewwo…owunce of weed pwease

        Elon Musk smoking weed
        h-hewwo...owunce of weed pwease >///< arigato... dealer-kun puts weedie-chan in bong and inhales waaah!! (╯✧▽✧)╯ daisuki cannabis desu~! (^ ω ^ )uwaaa! weedie-chan i feel so kimochi!!(〃°ω°〃)

        Say 🎩 hi 👁 to 👁 your 👄 mother. 🎀

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          Oh so I’m a simp?

            Super Incredible Man = SIMP
            Oh so I’m a simp?
            
            - Complimenting woman on Twitter makes me a simp?
            - Supporting woman with a $99.99 subscription to her onlyfans makes me a simp?
            - Visiting her and getting arrested makes me a simp?
            
            You’re right. It does make me a simp. 
            
            (S)uper
            (I)ncredible 
            (M)an

            pokimane please date me

              Pokimane the Twitch streamer
              Hi poki ❤️ i just wanted to say i really love you and i want to go on a date with you i’m the one who drops 20$ on your stream everyday you can dm if you want ☺️ i have the last 130$ on my paypal that i’m gonna drop next stream just so we can meet ilysm i want to date really bad