a man has fawwen into teh riwer in lego city! owo
start the rescuwu hewicopter
HEY nuzzles u
Buiwd teh hewicopter and owoff to the resucuwu
prepare the lifeline, lowoer the stwetcher and make teh resucuwu
the newu emewgency cowwection fwom lego city!!!
So I walk up to this bitch (apparently right after she got divorced) and say "what's up Karen you wanna go for a jog this afternoon haha" and she's like "please just leave me alone" and I'm like "whatever bitch" and then like an hour later get called into our HR person's office and they're like "you gotta stop harassing Karen she's going through a lot right now, she's just signed her divorce papers" And I'm like "hah who'd married that skank, someone with a wheelchair fetish?" And my HR person (Hank) was well like "come on man, they've been married for 16 years. They've been having trouble since her accident last year. She thinks he blames her for getting into the accident that killed their kids" and I'm all like lol So I leave and I'm hungry so I go to grab my lunch (turkey and provolone) only to see, lo and behold, that dumb bitch Karen set her bag of lunch RIGHT in front of mine!! so I write out a note saying how glad I am to be working with her but if she puts her lunch in front of mine again I swear to fuck I will finish the job that God couldn't So I go through the rest of my day joking around with Karen every time I see her even though she is I giant cunt about it (my favorite was 'accidently' dropping a pair of scissors on her colostomy bag lol) and I have to ignore the picture of that fucking rat whenever I walk by her desk So I finish my day asking for her ex husband's number since I need a new wingman to look for some babes with and she fucking flips it and when she's yelling at me I'm all like "maybe if you don't want to get divorced you shouldn't have gotten hit by a drink driver you ever think of that bitch" and then she rolled away aggressively So that was my Thursday
ok so I am ultimately PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW because my STUPID INSENSITIVE BIGOT OF A SCIENCE TEACHER WONT COVER THE SKELETON IN OUR CLASSROOM!!!! ive told him THOUSANDS of TIMES that i have severe anxiety from sans and ive actually developed ptsd from the sans fight and i have to carry an inhaler everywhere i go now because when i see bones or the color blue i start hyperventilating because of panic then if I don’t take my inhaler it turns into a ptsd episode and i already had to be sent home 3 TIMES BECAUSE THE SKELETON IN MY SCIENCE CLASS TRIGGERED ME!!!! AND HE WONT COVER IT!!!!!!! like????? i dont know what to do ive tried talking about it to the councilor but they said my condition isnt real???? like um YEAH IT IS??? i would know??????????? cause I wake up screaming and in tears each night because i have a recurring nightmare where SANS TELLS ME IM GOING TO HAVE A BAD TIME THEN HAS THE FUCKING DECENCY TO TO TELL ME IVE DIED 10 TIMES, AND THAT I HAVE NO FRIENDS!!!! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT FUCKING TRIGGERS ME???????? and it just PISSES ME OFF how the school CARE THST I AM ON THR BRINK OF OFING BECAUSE OF THIS!!!!!!!!!
Do I have any questions? Unless you are a published theoretical physicist and have earned a Master of Science and two PhDs, have an IQ of 187, and went to college at 11, research String Theory at Caltech, switched disciplines from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory and reconciled the black hole information paradox using a string network condensate approach, worked on the string theory implications of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations and considered a method for optimizing a 500 GeV particle detector to this end, jointly wrote a paper on supersolids to be presented at an Institute of Experimental Physics topical conference on Bose-Einstein condensates, keep a whiteboard in the living room for scientific theories containing virtual particles in quantum mechanics or series of Riemann zeta functions, then no I will not ask you any questions
I'm surprised that "Karen" isn't a more popular porn category. Like, there's so much potential.
Karen: "Excuse me, but do you have this milk in a different size? I need 2 liters, but you guys only have 1 liter!"
Guy who looks really young, but trust me, he's an adult: "Umm... I'm not so sure, I'll have to check in the back."
Karen: "Ugh, hurry up then."
Guy goes in the back to look for the milk, but instead of looking for the milk, he peeks out the door to get short glimpses of Karen's milk jugs
Guy starts touching himself, eventually unzipping his pants to start stroking his meat
Camera pans to Karen's body, occasionally zooming in on Guy's face and pp, because fuck you
Karen, after busting through the door: "UHH HELLO? WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG!?!?"
Guy, quickly grabbing a bag of frozen chicken nuggets to cover his junk: "Uhh ummm nothing! I'm just looking for your milk!"
Karen, while grabbing the back of nuggets: "THAT'S NOT MILK, THESE ARE NUGGETS YOU DUMBASS"
The guy does a death grip on the bag, desperately trying to hide his junk
Karen pulls it hard enough to break the guy's grip, exposing his hard cock
Karen does that trademark Brazzers shocked face. You know, the one everyone makes on PornHub ads. You know what the fuck I'm talking about
Karen: "What the fuck???"
The guy: "No no no, it's not what it looks like! Please don't call my manager!"
Karen walks away, but slips, and the guys penis magically slips inside of her
They start fucking
The porn ends with the manager walking in and saying "What the fuck???"
Edit: if you make porn and are gonna use this can you just put my username somewhere in there please. It will be like the ultimate bragging right.