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Peter Griffin

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    How to commit all 7 deadly sins at once.

      Hell any% speedrun
      If you angerly masturbate to another guy's money and jizz in your mouth and compliment yourself for the taste when you're on your shift at work, then you've committed all 7 sins... with room to spare.

      POV: you get approached by the weaboo kid

        Are you the new girl? Heh, I thought so, I’ve never seen you before. Ko ni chi wa, I’m David-kun. It’s so nice to finally meet you. You look just like my waifu HEHEHEHE. Anyways, I’m so sorry about the jerks in class. They’re all baka and they only want one thing. Not me, I just like to watch my favourite anime Jujutsu Kaisen and read mainga. Mm-also, I think you’re very KAWAII DESU NE HEHEHEHEHEHE. Guh! I’m sorry! Mm-I’m just nervous ok? It’s just.. well... it’s just... I JUST WANNA KNOW IF I CAN SUCK ON YOUR NIBLETS OK? Well, what do you sa-AAAH
        🚶‍♂️are you the👁👄👁new girl😜heh☺️ i thought so😌i’ve never seen👀 you before🤔 cone e chee wah ✋🏻 i’m david-kun😚it’s so nice😛to finally meet you🤪you look just like😳my waifu🥵HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹anyways😐i’m so sorry😔about the jerks😡in class😤theyre all👊🏻BAKA👊🏻they only want😭one thing😫not me🥴i just like🤓to watch📺my favourite anime😍jiu jitsu kaisen😍and read manga😎mmmalso👉🏻👈🏻ithinkyourereallycool😅kawaee desu neigh😳🐴HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹nghuuh😣i’m sorry😤i’m just nervous😭okay😡it’s just😉well😋it’s just🥵mm I JUST WANT TO KNOW🤔IF I CAN SUCK👅ON YOUR NIPPLETS🤭OKAY❓well😰what do you 👊🏻👊🏻NNGGGH😵

        Fart Experiment

          He did it for science
          When I was twelve I performed a fart experiment. I wanted to capture an undiluted fart in a jar and see if after a month it still smelled. I ate some hotdogs and pizza, then had a lot of ice cream. These were all foods known to induce flatulence in me. Then I waited. I could feel my stomach rumbling as the noxious gasses inside me brewed. I filled a bathtub full of water, got my jar with a tightly fitting lid, took off my clothes and got in. I put the jar under water so it would fill, then held it inverted over my crotch. As the gas left my sphincter it rose up and displaced the water in the jar. After two or three, I had a jar filled with flatus. I gingerly placed the cap on the jar and tightened it. Now came the waiting. I put the gas-filled jar under my bed and waited the thirty days. I resisted the temptation to open it prematurely. Finally the day arrived. I got home from school and went right to my room. I closed the door. I opened the jar, stuck my nose in, and took a big whiff. The remnants of my intestinal emission was just as pungent as the flatulence I was issuing the day I began my project. The gas, for all intents and purposes, had remained unchanged. I would postulate that a fart in a jar could conceivable last for an eternity.

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            Imagine being Bill Gates right now.

              I would be pretty pissed...
              Imagine being Bill Gates right now.
              You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education.
              Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will..
              Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live.
              You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.