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Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think

    Eiffel tower dick copypasta
    in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, “I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick.

    Schödinger’s Blowjob

      Schödinger's Blowjob copypasta
      Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

      Discord Down

        Discord is down copypasta
        Discord's down. Fear not, kitten. Daddy shall return with nitro in clutch. The six month one, like promised. However, those at Discord headquarters... shall not be treated so mercifully. Anyone who severes my connection with kitten will experience a hell no devil can offer!
        i cant talk to my kitten.....grr....my...demon..arecoming out..iCANT HANDLE THIS..
        10 mins without discord.. i miss my kittens.. i dont know what to do.. i think im dying

        I WANT TO FUCK BRAIXEN SO BAD

          Braixen copypasta
          I WANT TO FUCK BRAIXEN SO BAD I WANT TO SLURP UP HER LEGS LIKE BIG NOODLES I WANT TO EAT EVERY MEAL OF MY LIFE OFF OF HER FAT ASS I WANT TO DUMP MY CUM IN HER RUMP EVERY SINGLE NIGHT I WANT TO FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK BRAIXEN SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD PLEASE GOD FUCK I WANT TO BLAST ENDLESS BUSTS INTO HER LITTLE FOX WOMB I WANT TO GLAZE HER LIKE A DONUT WITH MY CUM FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I WANNA PUMP PUMP FUCK FUCK HER FOX BUTT I WANT TO TASTE EVERY INCH OF HER BODY OOH MMMMYYY FUCKIIINNGGG GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD PLEASE I WANT TO FUCK BRAIXEN I WANT TO FUCK BRAIXEN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IF I HAD A CHANCE TO FUCK BRAIXEN I WOULD NEVER CUM ANYWHERE ELSE BUT HER FOX PUSSYYYYYYY PLEASE PLEASE OMMGGG IM SO HORNY WHEN I SEE BRAIXEN I CANT STAND IT I HAVE TO FUCK BRAIXEN I WONT CUM TO ANYTHING BUT BRAIXEN HELP ME FUCK BRAIXEN SO HORNY FOR FOX ASS OMG PLEASE FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKK OH MY FUCKING GOD IMAGINE BEING A POKEMON TRAINER AND SEEING HER FAT BUTT AND THIGHS BOUNCING WHEN FIGHTING I WOULD BE STRINGING CUMS SHOOTING FAT ROPES EVERY TIME I SAW HER FUCK FUCK FUCK I WANT TO FUCK BRAIXEN I WANT TO FUCK BRAIXEN

          The role model what a genius of a man

            Ronaldo copypasta
            The role model what a genius of a man he's got time for any football fan out there this is what heart and soul is all about he's giving his time and also so giving his heart the passion in person really passionate he is putting confidence in the man believe in yourself yes he is a millionaire see it's not all about money he cares about maybe the whole world if you had the chance to talk to everyone he would take his time to talk to any stranger that shows what kind of man he is his passion confident hearts also positive he is so trust giving good vibes a good sense of humour I remember he said this I don't want the (Coca-Cola) just water for me it's good for you what are legends, Cristiano Ronaldo

            Folks have hated Cristiano since 2003

              Folks have hated Cristiano copypasta
              Folks have hated Cristiano since 2003. It's nothing new.

Hyper comodified modernity has bred a global crisis of socially ingrained low self esteem, so we are programmed to envy and despise those who don't hate themselves; those who are confident, good looking, and seem to have it all.

I'm guilty of this too. I hated the guy until ~2014. The sexual assault is fucked up and he should be maligned for that, but if we're being honest with ourselves, most of you didn't start disliking him when that broke out - that just gave you a convenient excuse to continue feeling what they were already feeling.

So I'm here to ruffle feathers and state verbatim what I believe -

CR7 is greater than that mild mannered pushover Argentine with a soft bodied in game mentality.