Step 1: We must first find an octopus

Due to octopuses being sea creatures, I suggest you do this in sea. I don't suggest trying places like aquariums and zoos, both because I'm agains doing this job with money and there is no need to get beaten up.


Step 2: Understand the gende of the octopus.

I must state that although I'm homophobic in the topic of humans, I don't discriminate in octopuses. If it can perform osmosis, that's well enough in my books. However due to female octopuses possesing limbs more suited for sex, I am basing this guide on them. To understand the gender of the octopus we first throw a dead female mouse. If it runs away it's a female, but if it tries to eat it by difusion it is a male.


Step 3: Setting the mood

Because that octopuses aren't fond of sex as humans are, convincing them may take some time. My suggestion is to make little surprises to her. for example, take them to the Bosphorus to eat baby jellyfishes. But make sure that she doesn't take any alcahool as octopuses can dissolve in water. It's not worth to lose your one and only octopus.


Step 4: We do the foreplay

Now the octopus is on your bed, but foreplay is as important in octopuses as in humans; so we need to do some foreplay tricks. the best way is to lick the octopus's legs; but one has to be careful in this process as the octopus may think that you are trying to eat her and choke your neck. another way is to go in between her eyes. this is also known al "american octofap"


Step 5: We fuck the octopus

after the foreplay the octopus is right in the mood. now it's time to unite. the biggest upside of octopuses over human girls is them not having reactions like "ah no not there", because you can do it there. you can do it everywhere. since their bodies are in the molluscs class, where you thrust is their pussy. Also, it doesn't posses a threat to cum inside and not use a condom.


and that's it guys. I hope it was helpful. For anyone seeking proof, this is a guide that I made with my experience.