So yesterday I was having some sexy (sex) time (not too much) with my female (F) wife. Everything was going fine, plec, plec, plec, ploc, ploc, ploc, until I had the urge to set my prostate yogurt free. I took a long breath and let it rip, and in the end of the flow I announced "NOT THE CHICKEN, NOR THE EGG... I CAME FIRST" and slapped my girl's ass. She hasn't spoke to me since the incident and it's been five days. What should I do, reddit?
So yesterday at lunch, I was about to eat with my friends from band when I realized that there was an empty seat at a table with some of the popular kids. I decided to take advantage of this opportunity to troll them, and perhaps befriend some of them. I sat at their table, and right as I sat down, I noticed that one of the kids (who happened to be black) was sitting above a vent. I yelled "Black is sus! He's on top of a vent!!" Everyone at the table looked up at me, but no one laughed (they probably didn't get the reference). I decided that I would try to get them to be familiar with it, so I asked "Do to guys wanna play some Among Us???" They were all dead silent (honestly they just didn't know how fun of a game it was). I slapped the middle of our table (to mimick the "emergency meeting" feature in Among Us), and I screamed "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!" Again, none of them laughed. One of them looked at me and said "Can you please sit somewhere else?" At this point, I realized that I had to make them laugh quickly, or I would blow my chance with them. I made the widest grin I could possibly make (Trying to mimick the "When the imposter is sus" meme) and I said "When the impoter is sus". I then tried to make a face that resembled the "Flushed" emoji (as part of the meme). However, I don't think any of them understood the reference. I then pulled up the among us theme song on Youtube and played it on full blast. At this point, everyone at my table was asking for me to leave, and their friend came back, who regularly sat in the chair I was sitting in. I went back to sit with my friends from band. However, I will forever remember the time I trolled ALL of the popular kids in my grade.
Wait, these are PROFESSIONAL valorant players? I'm better than all of them and I'm in bronze. I purposely empty my vandal clip down to 1 bullet because I kill all my opponents with 1 tap ease. Tenz looks like he could use some lessons from me directly. I'm bronze by the way.
No, you are not a “Man of Culture”. You are a 19 year old who has no romantic partner because you have a chronic addiction to anime porn where the characters dont look or sound any older than 13, seriously, the stuff you are watching should be illegal. Getting off to fictional drawings of ambiguous age THREE times a day is not even remotely cultured, it just makes you a sex-addicted pedophile. What’s gotten into you? You’re better than this.
Being short is a disability, and as a tall person, it's your responsibility to make sure short people don't get even more disabled by having to look up to speak to you. Doing this can damage their neck. Standing up while talking to short people also makes them feel threatened and unsafe so kneeling down not only prevents them from damaging their necks but also makes them feel more safe. Not doing this means you don't respect short people, you're mocking their disability, you're looking down on them and that's ableist, so be the bigger man and kneel.
Thank you.
