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I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exam

    "Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers."
    I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge, and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly cum every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius's wrath. then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate | unleash with the fury of a lion hunting it's prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that | busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.

    Can we mass send memes to the Taliban

      360 no scope from a tree while I peee
      Like what if we get a small part of this sub to send memes to taliban accounts on twitter to lobotomize them. We get them too busy browsing reddit to actually plan shit and we make them waste their day watching memes.

Imagine there's this taliban sniper about to take out a child when all of a sudden he remembers "peter griffin halal ben shapiro cringe القرف haram turtle swanson القرف free no virus no download 100% gratis 2013 (ملحمة ساءت)", he laughs and he misses the shot. Or a suicide bomber accidentally setting off the vest because he mistook the remote for his mouse while trying to replay a video. Or maybe we get them to become lazy as fuck and all they do bow is share memes.

We must feed the Taliban memes Basically, epic reddit do your thing make the talibans retarded like you

      Do NOT face Allah alone when Astral projecting

        I will build battle Allah
        Today while astral projecting I summoned allah to try and weaken him so our hexing spells would work better.

He is so fucking powerful. I'm not at a power level to do this alone. I barely escaped with my life and I'm spiritually injured to a great amount, but I think I'll make it.

I can't imagine what he would do to a new, unsuspecting witch. I'm scared that I will have to face him again soon if I ever want to continue astral projecting. I'm currently burning healing incense and drawing spiritual energy from my crystals to try and heal as quickly as possible.

Please be safe everyone. Allah is much stronger than I first imagined and we will have to do this together if we want to slay a god.

        On only fans banning nsfw

          Only fans banning porn!??!! This is literally 1984
          I, for one, am glad they’re banning the hard core stuff. I’m so sick and tired of having to see penises inside of these sweet young women’s, asses, vaginas and mouth. I hate it when their faces, breasts, and other various body parts are covered in these perverts semen. I really hate seeing it on the internet. Now I can use onlyfans for its original purpose. Reading the Bible.

          I AM TIRED OF PEOPLE HATING THE DREAM SMP

            LIKE SERIOUSLY?!ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME?! THE DREAM SMP IS NOT ONLY A FUCKING GREEN BLOB IT HAVE A STORY BEHIND IT IF YOU AT LEAST WATCHED IT YOU COULD SAY SOMETHING BUT YOU DON'T WATCH ALL THE MEMBERS CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!AND LET US HAVE OUR FANDOM?! YOU GUYS ARE ANNOYING AS FUCK HOPE YOU KNOW THAT.

            Killed a Trump support with a dildo today.

              NTA, dildos can be dangerous, he clearly knew the risks
              This morning I heard someone say they voted for Trump. I panicked and immediately ran to get my 3 foot dragon dildo before beating him to death with it. I hope no one assumed I was a Trump supporter in the short time I allowed him to live.