now ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Women aren’t funny
now ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Women aren’t funny (Feat: Back to the kitchen)
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◄◄⠀▐▐⠀►► 𝟸:𝟷𝟾 / 𝟹:𝟻𝟼⠀───○ 🔊Women aren’t real
Women arent real. They are and have always been fake. All historical records, music, art and genetics depicting females have been altered by the government. It is well known that everyone has an CIA agent. That would either mean that there are double the people in the world or that half the population works for the government. It is said that around half the population is female. Curious, right? Also how do you explain the fact that women live longer than men? They work for the government! Of course, you might think that there is real proof for their existence, but I can debunk all of it. Their voice is made by voice changers. Their body is made by soy present in the air. Of course, the biggest counterargument would be their genitals. But porn is a lie. Have you ever seen a woman naked? Me neither. If you have a wife or a girlfriend, you are lying. But just for the sake of argument let's say you do. You have been brai washed by the Liberal government. The only thing all politicians agree on is the fact that women are made up. The only other rational argument I can think of is where do kids come from. Hahaha, you have been brainwashed to think about "birth". Everyone knows kids come from orphanages and factories. Did I change your mind or has the truth not reached your ears yet? women are a lie (any females are welcome to prove their existence in my DMs)Help: my penis is too long.
My penis is too long. When I measured it just now, it was 40 cm long. According to my estimates, it’s growing at a rate of at least 2 cm per month.
I’m not too sure about its length when fully erect. Thanks to the lack of blood supply to my brain, I tend to faint before becoming fully erect.
Despite its impressive length, my penis is only as wide as one of those Crayolas back in elementary school.
Because of its flexibility from a ridiculous length-to-girth ratio, I am able to wrap it around my right thigh, much like a fire hose. It’s a surprisingly efficient method of penis-storage, though it does make sitting a problem.
Does anyone else have similar problems?Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.
I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you?
If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit.
If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that.
But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.Imagine Dragons – Bones lyrics
Open lyrics
Gimme, gimme, gimme some time to think
I'm in the bathroom looking at me
Face in the mirror is all I need
Wait until the reaper takes my life
Never gonna get me out alive
I will live a thousand million lives
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
I got this feeling, yeah, you know
Where I'm losing all control
'Cause there's magic in my bones
I got this feeling in my soul
Go ahead and throw your stones
'Cause there's magic in my bones
Playing with a stick of dynamite
There was never grey in black and white
There was never wrong till there was right
Feeling like a boulder hurdling
Seeing all the vultures circling
Burning in the flames I'm working in
Turning in a bed that's darkening
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
I got this feeling, yeah, you know
Where I'm losing all control
'Cause there's magic in my bones
I got this feeling in my soul
Go ahead and throw your stones
'Cause there's magic in my bones
'Cause there's magic in my bones
Look in the mirror of my mind
Turning the pages of my life
Walking the path so many paced a million times
Drown out the voices in the air
Leaving the ones that never cared
Picking the pieces up and building to the sky
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
My patience is waning
Is this entertaining?
I got this feeling yeah you know
Where I'm losing all control
'Cause there's magic in my bones
I got this feeling in my soul
Go ahead and throw your stones
'Cause there's magic in my bones
There goes my mind
Don't mind
There goes my mind
There goes my mind
Don't mind
There goes my mind
'Cause there's magic in my bones