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The year is 2040. The LGBTQ party has taken over the whole world. Being heterosexual is illegal. At age 14, everyone is forced by law to change to another one of the 666 different genders. The last gamers hide in the sewers, eating rats and enjoying decade-old videogames; the last ones without identity politics woven directly in the code. Their last hope: leaving edgy comments in reviews on Steam.
Trump sat back in his chair with a smirk. He was ecstatic about the fact that the constitution would protect him from democracy due to the fact that the only way to remove him from office was to put him in a peach. A PEACH. He could never fit in such a small object, such a feat was impossible. "ORDER ORDER" said Pelosi. "Donald Trump, you have abused executive power for far too long. I order that you are put in peach" Trump laughed. "Your honor, there is no way I can fit in peach." Pelosi grinned and then turned to the gates at the back of the room. "BRING OUT THE GIANT PEACH." Trumps heart stopped. The gates slowly and ominously opened to reveal a massive peach the size of a two story building. "I-impossible" Trump said, his orange skin turning pale. "How could this be?" "Today Ladies and Gentlemen..." said pelosi with an even wider grin. "Blumpf In peach"
When you were partying, I studied the blade. When you were having premarital sex, I mastered the blockchain. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength. And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help.
When you were partying
I studied The Blade
When you were having premarital sex
I mastered The Blockchain
While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity
I cultivated Inner Strength
And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help?
porra mano fui pra smart fit ontem pra fazer peito e triceps ta ligado
ai la no canto tem uma area de crossfit puta area merda kkkkkkkkkkkk nem sei pq falei isso mas e dai
enfim, tava la fazendo um fly suavao ai do nada me entra um palhaço na academia
velho to falando de um palhaço mesmo, nao tipo o it ou tiririca que eh um meia foda de um palhaço
eh um palhaço mesmo mano, pique os de circo manja
suave tava no descanso do bi-set so fiquei de olho
mano o palhaço nao vai no rack dos peso e cata 3 anilha de 25 kilo e começa a faze malabaris no bagulho
porra jao 25 kilo cada
a porra da academia travou pra ver aquele filho da puta brincando como se fosse com bolinha de tenis tiu
ai um dos instrutor, o mais merda ne tinha q ser
chego nele e falo "o jao para com essa porra ai vai machuca alguem mano"
o palhaço olho pra ele sorrindo e ignoro
nao e q deu merda, o ronald mcdonald do caralho solto uma anilha bem no pe e ele começa a chora q nem um bebe, no mesmo timbre
o instrutor entro em choque
ai o palhaço tira o sapato nr 55 dele e mostra que nao pegou, seguido de um HONK HONK com o nariz
mano esse bagulho foi foda
o instrutor saiu e foi procurar a gerente da academia q tava na recepçao dando o cu sei la fazendo o q
quando eles voltaram o palhaço ja tava fazendo dropset de agachamento com 160kg, negada tava pirando vendo aquele cuzao
na hora o palhaço viu eles e agacho com tudo
as calça dele rasgou e começou a cair uma pa de jujuba e ele gargalhando
mano foi o pior dia da minha vida, amei
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damn bro i went to smart fit yesterday to do chest and triceps ok
there in the corner there's a crossfit area shit area kkkkkkkkkkkk I don't even know why I said that but so what
Anyway, I was doing a sweaty fly and then out of nowhere a clown enters my gym
old man I'm talking about a clown, not like the it or the sedge that's a half fuck of a clown
he's a real clown bro, cut the circus ones
smooth was on the bi-set rest so I kept an eye
bro, the clown doesn't go to the weight rack and picks up 3 25 kilo washers and starts juggling the stuff
damn already 25 kilos each
the fucking gym crashed to see that son of a bitch playing like it was a tennis ball
there one of the instructors, the shittiest one didn't have to be
I go up to him and say "jao stop with that shit, it's going to hurt someone bro"
the clown looks at him smiling and ignores
It's not like shit, the fucking ronald mcdonald drops a band right on his foot and he starts crying like a baby, in the same timbre
the instructor is in shock
then the clown takes off his shoe nr 55 and shows that he didn't take it, followed by a HONK HONK with his nose
man this shit was fuck
the instructor left and went to look for the gym manager who was at the reception giving her ass what she was doing
When they came back the clown was already doing a squat dropset with 160kg, I was freaking out watching that asshole
at the time the clown saw them and I crouched down with everything
his pants ripped and a piece of jelly beans started to fall and he laughed
bro it was the worst day of my life, i loved it
