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My mom confiscated furry porn that I drew

    Furry porn copypasta
    Child here. My mom confiscated furry porn that I drew 2 months ago. She was looking through my folders because couldn't find this assignment that was due. She got to the folder. I tried to tear it away from her, but she shoved me and told me to go to my room. So I'm in my room with a knife about to slit my wrist or something and then she calls me back down and yells at me, then hugs me, then asks why I was drawing that, then tells me that she used to draw stuff like that when she was my age but I still shouldn't unless I raise my grades. My 9 yo brother is sitting at the table while this is happening. My mom made me clean out my backpack and threw the porn away. I still sell it at school and my grades are still shit, but I have a 100 in art, so it's not all that bad.

    I have an idea for the Minecraft 2.0 update

      Minecraft 2.0 update
      I have an idea for the Minecraft 2.0 update. We will finally get all the important things that we have been missing for the longest time. After years and years of eating, the player character (most commonly Steve) has eaten lots of food. But, all of this food after all of these years has had nowhere to go. But fret not, because in the biggest update ever Steve will take the biggest shit ever. The more food you have eaten across all of your Minecraft worlds, the more blocks that will slowly slide out of Steve’s gaping anus. The process to obtain this will be fully animated, and these blocks will have a very special property. They have a stinky effect that wards off all mobs, unless of course the mob in particular has the poop kink from the next part of this update. Mobs will now have fully animated breeding animations, Along with kinks. Some animals will get into a breeding state by being hit, others will be attracted to your shit, and this along with possibly more than 50 other kinks. This is the breed and feed update.

      The release of the new FNAF game…

        The release of the new FNAF game has for sure gotten the FNAF R34 subreddits buzzing again especially with the new additions to the cast like Glamrock Chica and Roxy Wolf. Unfortunately the thing that seems to be dividing the FNaF r34 community is the new main character in the latest instalment of the franchise Gregory he has appeared in a number of posts in the subreddit and for those unaware he is a young boy about elementary school age. I honestly find it deplorable that anyone would defend the artwork that sexulizes a minor in any capacity and the main two reasons I have seen people defending the artwork are 1. he is a guy so it is fine if he sleeps with someone older which is an absurd notion that plays into the stereotype that guys can not be groomed/raped by a women 2. It is all fictional so it is fine which is also a disgusting take because if the protagonist was a girl the subreddit would of probably been nuked by reddit mods by now. Professionals have standards and until these issues are addressed I will be nutting to other fictional franchises that do not contain animatronics at the moment.

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          Grammarly copypasta
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          Every single emoji

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            would I suck dick for a billion dollars?

              Lol the real game is "how little money would you suck a dick for."
              
              Because really.
              
              To be clear, I'm a straight, married guy. I make 100k a year, and support a family of 4 on that. I rent. Let's think.
              
              Ten million? That's roughly what I'll make from here to retirement. With good investment edit: it's 100 years wages, and I only have 15 years to retirement. sorry, it's 3am and I'm at work. Still, I never need to work again.
              
              A million? Fuck yes. Not even a moment's hesitation. That's ten years salary. My job is hard, physical, causes substantial wear and tear on my body, requires 12 hour rotating shift work. A million dollars would buy me a (depressingly modest) home, pay off all my debts, secure sufficient savings for my kids education. With debt paid and no major housing outlay, my standard of living would leap up from here till retirement, or I'd have plenty of room to downgrade to an easier job.
              
              But those are silly numbers.
              
              100k? Yup. We're still not hesitating. I go through a lot of misery to make my yearly 100k as it is, and here we're talking tax free.
              
              10k? Still yes, but now we're getting into numbers I'm going to feel dirty about. Still, mouthwash is cheap.
              
              1k? Ehhh. Probably not? Maybe, but you're wearing a condom for sure.
              
              Ok, so 5k? Yeah. Sure. Wanna set up a monthly date? I'd blow someone once a month and quit my job.
              
              Well.
              
              So what we've discovered is that the only reason I'm not a sex worker is nobody is gonna pay me 5k to blow them. Which I'll say is probably their loss, I'm a dude, I know what feels good, and I have no gag reflex.