PR team and devs, well done. You have alienated your playerbase.
You committed the ultimate cardinal sin, you got personal. You, as a team of professionals trying to make money, got personal. You got personal and decided to insult your playbase, calling us "ass-hats" and "freeloaders". Not a wise move.
We won't forget this. You've set a new tone for the kind of interaction we'll be having with you. It's a cold one. One where there aren't any illusions about the reality of the situation. Previous notions of "family" are dead. We are mere consumers to you, and that is obvious.
You have chosen to bring in a new era of hostility and bitterness. Well done. Great PR move.
History of the copypasta
The copypasta was from a response when an Apex Legends developer called someone on the Apex subreddit an asshole. The original post can be found here.
It came from a message by Kai Leng titled “Evacuating Thessia” taunting Shepard for surviving their fight on Thessia.
Good. You opened this message. This isn't actually asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet.
So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me. Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard needs to be re-written. I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death.
-KL
Good. You opened this message. This isn't actually asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet. So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me. Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard needs to be re-written. I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death.
From: Asari Military Command
Good. You opened this message. This isn't actually asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet.
So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me. Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard needs to be re-written. I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death.
-KL
Response
Dear Kai Leng,
You are the strangest girl I know.
Sincerely,
Commander Shepard
Ok so I did a thing and it escalated (quickly)
So I was hanging with this girl, we’ll call her Lina, and we were flirting back and forth. Then I got close and whispered something in her ear and she said, “if you get that close again I will kiss you.” I obviously got close again thinking she was being dramatic, she kissed me and then we started to make out.
She stopped and asked if I wanted to go farther and then we went to “the sex spot” and continued where we left off. We continued to make out, I started to feel her up. Then one thing led to another and I fingered her. Then we had to get to our college class so we had to wrap it up.
No need to give advice or talk about it. I just needed to tell somebody, anybody really. (Thank you for reading and have a nice day)
The real reason you can't invade Australia is because it doesn't exist. Australia is not real. It’s a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In reality, all these criminals were loaded off the ships into the waters, drowning before they could see land ever again. It’s a coverup for one of the greatest mass murders in history, made by one of the most prominent empires.
Australia does not exist. All things you call “proof” are actually well fabricated lies and documents made by the leading governments of the world. Your Australian friends? They’re all actors and computer generated personas, part of the plot to trick the world.
If you think you’ve ever been to Australia, you’re terribly wrong. The plane pilots are all in on this, and have in all actuality only flown you to islands close nearby – or in some cases, parts of South America, where they have cleared space and hired actors to act out as real Australians.
Australia is one of the biggest hoaxes ever created, and you have all been tricked. Join the movement today, and make it known that they have been deceived. Make it known, that this has all just been a cover-up. The things these “Australian” says to be doing, all these swear words and actions based on alcoholism, MDMA and bad decisions, are all ways to distract you from the ugly truth that is one of the greatest genocides in history. 162,000 people was said to have been transported to this imaginary land during a mere 80 years, and they are all long dead by now. They never reached that promised land.
The human penis was so perfectly created for sucking, it's literally the design-prototype for the popsicle. That's why it's so easy & straightforward. In fact, you can even do it while playing Mario Kart.
But cunnilingus requires a singular, uni-task commitment, cuz you're basically snacking on an open wound. There's no watching Netflix or doing ANYTHING else when you're going down on a woman: Your head is buried, like a frightened ostrich. If you're lucky, you can still hear the stereo. So trading one for the other is totally unfair for the guy!
I say, 3 fellatio = 1 cunnilingus. That's a fair trade. (I'm also open to nontraditional trades, like something Bobby Bonilla's agent would think of: 1 fellatio + 1 sandwich + 1 nap = 1 cunnilingus.)
I don't want this to be weird, so I'll try to keep this as normal as possible.
A few days back, I was watching a video on YT, about a man solving an integration question asked in an MIT exam. The question looked so complex, it was scary honestly. I tried to solve it using my 2 years of half-assed JEE prep, and I failed. I felt angry at the question, it made me feel violated and submissive. However, when the lecturer started solving it, I became flabbergasted. The way he simplified a complex trigonometric function into a basic 10th-grade level, I felt butterflies in my stomach on seeing his way of thinking. It was so unique, I got a feeling like when you think of your crush for the entire day at home and you see her at school the next day and your stomach just tightens and feels light. To my surprise, he wasn't finished. He laughed and said, "This can be simplified further, watch me". He grabbed the question by reaching further in and started to harass it, squeezing out everything hidden inside its fragile body, and finally blew his entire load of knowledge onto it. By the time he was done, I noticed that the question had transformed into a basic 6th-grade algebraic equation. "Polar coordinates, they're useful."- He sighed. As soon as those words hit me, the feeling in my stomach jumped into my throat, and I felt my knees get weak. I felt my penile opening tense up and start to vibrate, in resonance with my sperm glands. Right when I was at the peak of satisfaction, his lips murmured - "Aaand, we can't forget the +C!". As those words hit my ears, my heart exploded. I felt love again. Seeing such a smart person solve such a complex question, my God. Before I knew it, my prostate started to violently pulsate, and I realized that my pants were oozing cum. I just ejaculated to Mathematics, and I've never felt happier.
Does anyone else feel attracted to people who solve complex maths? Something about their way of thinking is so arousing. I am thinking of marrying someone with a masters in math.
