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AITA for roleplaying as Walter White during sex?

    I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out.

I (37M) and my wife (25F) have had complications with sex our entire marriage (4 years), but recently we’ve started having more and more sex recently! I love my wife, and she loves me I think.

Now onto the story: I have been a massive breaking bad fan for years, I have all the merch and funko pops. But my wife thinks it’s an “unhealthy obsession”, which is just completely and utterly false! We were in the mood 2 days ago and we started having hot steamy sex, and while I was grunting I said “Oh yeah Jesse, im gonna cook up your boy pussy!” And my wife instantly said “WHAT!?” And I, realising my mistake, said “Nothing, probably just the wind.”

We continued going at it and we were reaching the climax, as soon as I came I yelled “Jesse! Feel my crystal blue cum!” And my wife threw me off instantly and yelled “I’m done! I hate you and I hate your stupid breaking bad obsession, and I’ve been fucking another guy because you won’t shut up about ‘Better Call Saul’ and how ‘Kim’ is a better wife than me!”.

As she was yelling more about how breaking bad is ruining me I told her “you’re acting just like skyler!” And she yelled that we are getting a divorce.

She has now moved into a motel and I’ve been thinking about what happened, I personally don’t believe I’m in the wrong, but I want to hear it from Reddit.

AITA?

    My name is Skyler White yo

      My name is Skyler White you copy paste
      The scene
      My name is Skyler fucking White, yo. My husband is Walter fucking White, yo. Uh-huh
      "My name is skyler white yo"
🗿
"My husband is walter white yo"
🗿
"Uh huh"
🗿
      My name is Skyler White yo
🤨🗿💥💀
My husband is Walter White yo
🤨🗿💥💀
      Well, my name is Skyler White yo
🤨💥
My husband is Walter White yo
🤨💥
Uh huh
🤨💥
He told me everything
🤨💥
      My name is Skyler White yo 🗿
My husband is Walter White yo 🗿
      My name 😤 is Skyler white yo 😩 my husband is Walter 🔫 white yo💀
      Well.. My name is skyler white yo 💥 my husband is Walter white yo 💥 uh huh 💥 told me everything 💥
      my name is skyler white yo 🤨 my husband's name is Walter White yo🤨 uh-huh🤨
      My name is Skyler White yo 😳
My husband is Walter White yo 😳


Uh huh 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
      my husband is Walter white, yo.💀💀
      Look, lady, whatever you're selling, I ain't buying, yo.


Well, my name is Skyler White, yo.

My husband is Walter White, yo.

Uh, huh.

He told me everything.


- Seriously?


- That's right.

And just so you know...

My brother-in-law is a DEA agent.

And I will not hesitate to call him.

Not if I have to.

Understood?

This is your one

and only warning.

Do not sell marijuana

to my husband.


- Okay.


- I mean it.

Don't call our house again.

You stay away from him,

or you'll be one sorry individual.

You got me?


I think so, yeah.

No more marijuana.

I can dig it.


You can dig it.

Wonderful.

Not that it's any of my business,

but you might wanna consider

a different line of work.


Okay.

      CupcakKe – CPR lyrics

        Copy and paste CupcakKe CPR lyrics

        Open Lyrics

        No quick head in my bed I can't have that
I want that long neck not talking giraffe neck
Ain't no laying down man we 'bout to have late fun
I'm 'bout to make your balls stick up like space buns
Want your dick soaked? Place it down my throat
Tongue tickle yo' dick but not telling a joke
Peddle in this pussy that's how you rock a boat
It get live in this pussy, I'm not talking Periscope
In the sheets I am a bully
Give more head than a hoodie
Every time you make me cum it look just like vanilla pudding
Sit on yo face all day until you say, "Bae, it hurt me"
Then I turn around and give the dick more kisses than Hershey's
Yo' dick brick-hard like a medal (uh)
I got three holes for it like a pretzel (mhm)
Tight as a virgin boy don't get nervous (tight)
I'm here to serve you customer service (right)
I save dick by giving it CPR
(I save dick by giving it CPR, yes)
Put my mouth on it like CPR
(Let's make porn and watch it on VCR)
I think we should fuck up in every zip code
It would make my pussy wetter than a fishbowl
Pussy a kitty cat, I pet it like a pet
I fuck doggy style so much I need to go to the vet
Hotbox? More like a scorching pussy
Open this coochie up like a fortune cookie
Yo' banana in my mouth watch my tongue go ape
Yo' dick getting more blows than a birthday cake
When I'm near it, no, I don't fear it
Licking on that penis like a letter when I seal it
Today way wetter than my past slob
And if you unemployed, I can give you a ass job
Pussy already wet don't need no lube ointment
Dick twisting in my stomach like food poisoning
That's how you know when you hit the spot
I'll make your pants unzip more than Ziploc
Yo' dick brick-hard like a medal (uh)
I got three holes for it like a pretzel (mhm)
Tight as a virgin boy don't get nervous (tight)
I'm here to serve you customer service (right)
I save dick by giving it CPR
(I save dick by giving it CPR, yes)
Put my mouth on it like CPR
(Let's make porn and watch it on VCR)
Anything goes when you up in my hole
Dirty panties from the sex, yeah, I got me some loads
Listen, I'm the most explicit
Long stick inside my river but we not going fishing
Know what to do every time you have a horrible day
I'll eat that sausage all day like it's Memorial Day
I'm talking BBQ sauce and mustard on it
And the mayonnaise comes when you bust right on it
Name anything freaky and you know I'm 'bout that shit
Only time I'm not on the dick is when I'm 'bout to shit
Pubic hairs all in my mouth, not again
So when I suck yo' dick now, I use bobby pins
Who need a gym when you got dick to work you out?
I want my face to lose weight so stroke my mouth
And any time my pussy wanna be hairy like Harry Potter
Becky with the good hair is what you could call her
Let's get it
A little faster
A little more
Right there
Give it to me now
(Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh)

        Open Emoji lyrics

        No ✨ quick 🏃‍♀ head 💆 in 📅🔚 my 😗 bed, 🛌 I 🤬 can't 💃 have 🈶 that 💯😐 I 🎧 want 🕑👍 that ➡️ long ⛄ neck, 👢😫 not 🧐🤭 talking 💬 giraffe 🦒 neck 💕🥺💖👑 Ain't 🙅‍♂️ no 🚭 laying down ⏬👇🔽🔽👇👇 man 👦 we ⚡ 'bout 👆 to have 🤲 late 🕛 fun 😗 I'm 🤯 'bout 📢 to make 💘 your 👈 balls ⚾ stick 🏒 up 🦃👆 like 👍 space 🌝 buns 🍑🍑🍑🍑 Want 😍 your 👉 dick 😈 soaked? Place 😍🏆 it down 📉 my 👨🍆 throat 👏 Tongue 💯😋 tickle 🤗 yo' 🎶 dick 🤢🤢🤢 but 🍑 not 🚯 telling 😍 a joke 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Peddle in 👇 this pussy, 🐱🐱 that's 😐🔕 how 💯💯 you 👉 rock 👨‍🎤 a boat ⛴ It get 🉐 live 👦🏻👰🏾👉🏻 in 👊 this pussy, 🍑 I'm 😈 not 😮 talking 💬 Periscope In 1️⃣4️⃣9️⃣2️⃣ the sheets 👨🏻📲 I 🙈💁 am 👏 a bully 💔🏿 Give 🗽 more 🍆🍆 head 💆 than 🤢 a hoodie Every 💯 time 😌🕒 you 👈 make 👸📓 me 😢 cum 💦 it look 👀🔍 just 🏼🤔 like 😄👍 vanilla 🍦 pudding 🍮 Sit 🧘‍♂️ on 🔛 yo' 🤡 face 👦🏻 all 💯 day 🚨 until 🕛🍆 you 👈 say, 😩 "Bae 💏 it hurt 😭 me" 🙋‍♀️🤙 Then 😯 I 👨 turn 🔄 around 🔃 and give 😱 the dick 👅 more ➕➕➕ kisses 💕 than 🙅 Hershey's

Yo' 🎶 dick 🎅🏿 brick hard 🍆💪 like 🌂 a medal 🥈 (Uhh) 😒 I 😊 got 📷 three 🕒 holes 👂 for 🙌 it like 💜 a pretzel 🥨 (Uhmm) Tight 🍥 as a virgin, 😵 boy, 👦😫 don't 🚫 get 1️⃣0️⃣ nervous 😨 (Tight) 👊 I'm 💆‍♀️ here 🈁🈁 to serve 💁 you 😍👉 customer 😡 service 📳 (Right?) 📷 I 🏼 save 🦎 dick 🏻😝 by 😆 giving 🤲 it CPR I 👥 save 👨‍💼 dick 😂🍆 by 😓 giving 🤲 it CPR (Yes) 😷 Put 🙋🏼 my 🕴🏻 mouth 💋💋 on 🔛 it like 😜 CPR Let's 👍 make 💘 porn 🍑🍆💦 and watch ⌚ it on 🔛 VCR 🙈

I 🤢 think 🤔 we 👌👦 should 👫 fuck 🐢 up 👌 in 🙈 every 👖 zip code 😤 It would 😩👪 make 👏 my 👆 pussy 😸 wetter than 💉 a fishbowl (Wet) 🌊 Pussy 🍬 a kitty 🐱 cat, 😼 I 😀 pet 🐹 it like 😄 a pet 🐈😫 (Pet) 🐹 I 🍾 fuck 🖕👉 doggy style 💈 so much 🔳 I 😊 need 👏👏 to go ❤️ to the vet (Pet) 🐰 Hotbox? More ➕ like 👍 a scorching pussy 🍑💯 Open 😃 this coochie 🍑 up 🍅 like 🐌 a fortune 💰 cookie 🍪 Yo' 💦 banana 🍌 in 🔗 my 👀👨💯🤔 mouth, 👄🦷 watch 👀 my 👈 tongue 😜 go 🦗 ape 🐒 Yo' 😎 dick 🍆💦💦😩 getting 🍀🉐 more 🦎 blows than 😻 a birthday 💐 cake 🎂 When ⏰ I'm 👏 near 😯 it, no 🚫 I 👥 don't 🥳🥳🥳 fear 😱 it Licking on 🔛 that 😻 penis 🎄 like 😜👋 a letter 📩 when 💕 I 😐 seal 🤐 it Today 🌽 way 😤✋ wetter than 👩‍❤️‍👨📈 my 🧚 past 💦 slob And if you 🏻😛 unemployed I 👥 can 💦💦 give 👉 you 😊 a ass 🍑 job 😊 Pussy 🍂🐱 already 💕 wet 🌊🌊 don't 🙈😡 need 👉 no 😑 lube 🤤🥴 ointment Dick 📅 twisting 🔁🔁 in 📥 my 🤷👈 stomach 😂🤣 like 💖 food 🍩 poisonin’ That's 🦎 how ❔❔ you 😀💛💃🏿🙊 know 💭💭 when ⏰🍑 you 👉🏻 hit 👋🏼 the spot 🦒 I'll 💰 make 💘👼🏼🌌 your 🚹 pants 👖 unzip more ➕ than 👩‍❤️‍👨📈 Ziploc

Yo' ❗ dick 🍄🍆🌭 brick hard 🍆 like 👍 a medal 🥉 (Uhh) 😒 I 👩🏻 got 👀 three 🎨 holes 👂 for 📓🔞🎁 it like 👌 a pretzel 🥨 (Uhmm) Tight 👊 as a virgin, 🇻🇮🇻🇮🇻🇮 boy, 👋 don't 🚫👎 get 🉐🉐🉐🍊🉐 nervous 😰😰 (Tight) 👊 I'm 🥺 here 📍 to serve 💁 you 🦎 customer 🐖😋 service 😁 (Right) ▶ I 👥 save 🦎 dick 🍌😍💦 by 😓 giving 👸👸 it CPR I 😊 save 🦎 dick 🍆🍆 by 😈 giving 🤲 it CPR (Yes) ✅ Put 🚮 my 🐕 mouth 👄 on 📝🔛 it like 😄 CPR Let's 🥺 make 💘👨‍⚕️ porn 🍑🍆💦 and watch 👀 it on 📲👏 VCR

😩 Anything 💦 goes 🎆 when 🍑 you 👉 up 🐢 in 4️⃣ my 🌊🌙 hole 🙀 Dirty panties 🩲 from 💥 the sex, 🍆 yeah ❤️ I 🙋 got 🍸 me 😎🤙 some 🍌 loads Listen, 👂 I'm 💘 the most 👉 explicit Long 📏 stick 😶📏 inside 💠 my 😳🗽 river 🚣 but 🍑 we 😊 not 😖 going 🥥 fishing 🚣 Know 🤔 what 😦 to do 😷 every 💯🔞 time 🕧🕚🕓⌛ you 👈 have ✊ a horrible 😝 day 🥺😩👿😰 I'll 💪 eat ✨ that 🦃😐 sausage 🌭 all 🧨 day 🍆🍆🎊🎊 like 💚 it's Memorial Day 👛 I'm 👈 talking 💬 barbecue sauce 🍅🍅🌭👅 and mustard on 🏽🏽 it And the mayonnaise comes 🚶🏻‍♂️ when 🍆🍑⏰ you 👉 bust 🤯😵 right 📐 on 👍😳 it Name 📛 anything 💰 freaky 😈 and you 😢👈 know 🦎 I'm 💘 'bout 🤩 the shit 😡 Only 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦👨‍👦👩‍👦👨‍👦👩‍👦 time ⌚⏰ I'm 💆🏼 not 🙅‍♀️ on 🔛 the dick 🍆🍆 is when 🤷 I'm 💰👀 'bout 👆 to shit 💩💩 Pubic 🍆 hairs all 🏾💯 in 🏼 my 👏 mouth, 💋💋😍😍 not 🚫🙅 again 😘😟 So when 💬 I 👁️‍🗨️ suck 👄👅😏 yo' 🎶❗ dick 🍆 now 💦🚽 I 💭🏿 use 😏 bobby pins Who 👿 need 👉 a gym 💪 when ⏰ you 🕺 got 🉐 dick 🍆🍆 to work 🔨😭 you 😦 out? 🐜 I ℹ️ℹ️ want 🌛 my 😖🙂 face 👩😷 to lose 😏 weight 🏋️‍♂️ so stroke 🐩 my 👇👑 mouth 💋 And any 📨 time 🕒 my 👈👈 pussy 😼 wanna 😯 be 🍆 hairy 💇💙✊ like 😍 Harry 🍆🎅🏿 Potter Becky with the good 🙅‍♂️ hair 💇 is what 😦😂 you 😣👉 could 🤔🤔 call 📞 her 👩 Let's 🙆 get 🕴🏽 it

        AI Pokimane fan tweet

          Pokimane AI Tweet
          My soul is yours, take it and be free with it, and if you need it:

All my skills, money and energy are yours for the taking, just do me a favor and use it wisely

So in total I love you Pokimane...My soul is yours, take it and be free with it, and if you need it:All my skills, money and energy are yours for the taking, just do me a favor and use it wisely

Dude here's what I need from you, I need for you to make me as beautiful as I am to you and I will do the same for you so you can take you from this world. Then we will live a life full of happiness. will ask you to have sex with me in the next 10 days, If we don't have sex, or if I fail to tell you I love you or want you, i will just be wondering about our life together with my soul longing for yours and without you my life would be nothing but a funeral. Will do anything to be with you.

          Does the Pope shit in his hat?

            Pope copypasta
            Does the pope shit in his hat?

I don't know if he shits in his own hat, but he's shit in mine quite a few times. I don't know how or why he does it, but at least a couple times a year, I'll be in my apartment by myself, just living my life, and all of a sudden I'll hear this loud moan followed by giggling and an absolutely horrific smell. At this point I know it's him once I hear the moan, so I get up to try to catch him, but before I can, he's already in the front doorway giving me this stupid smirk. I always try to reach out and grab him, but he just winks and runs off to the Popemobile idling outside.

Just to be clear, I live in Chicago, not the Vatican, and as far as I can tell, he's coming out here just to shit in my hat. There are no big news stories about him visiting or anything like that, but there is a page in an official Vatican site that shows his travel schedule and it always says he had to make a brief visit for "holy administrative purposes". It's also worth noting that he's in full the full Pope outfit when he does this, so it's pretty impressive that he can move as fast as he does, especially considering his age.

            Saul Badman

              Saul Badman copypasta
              Original Saul Goodman copypasta
              Hi I'm Saul Badman. Did you know that you didn't have rights? The Constitution says you don't. And so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every man, woman, and child in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Albuquerque! Better not call Saul. Saul Badman, not an attorney