In Florence, a young woman, somewhat of a simpleton, was on the point of delivering a baby. She had long been enduring acute pain, and the midwife, candle in hand, inspected her secret area, in order to ascertain if the child was coming. “Look also on the other side,” said the poor creature, “my husband has sometimes taken that road.”
From “The Facetiae Or Jocose Tales of Poggio”, a joke book published in the 1400’s by Poggio Bracciolini:Open The Heart Part 5 lyrics
As I get a little older, I realize life is perspective
And my perspective may differ from yours
I wanna say thank you to everyone that’s been down with me
All my fans, all my beautiful fans
Anyone who’s ever gave me a listen, all my people
I come from a generation of pain, where murder is minor
Rebellious and Margielas’ll chip you for designer
Belt buckles and clout, overzealous if prone to violence
Make the wrong turn, be it will or the wheel alignment
Residue burned, missed at a inner-city
Miscommunication to keep homi’ detective busy
No protection is risky
Desensitized, I vandalized pain
Covered up and camouflaged
Get used to hearin’ arsenal rain
Analyze, risk your life, take the charge
Homies done fucked your baby mama once you hit the yard, that’s culture
Twenty-three hour lockdown, then somebody called
Said your lil’ nephew was shot down, the culture’s involved
I done seen niggas do seventeen, hit the halfway house
Get out and get his brains blown out, lookin’ to buy some weed
Car wash is played out, new GoFundMe accounts’ll proceed
A brand-new victim’ll shatter those dreams, the culture
(I want, I want, I want, I want)
But I want you to want me too (I want, I want, I want, I want)
I want the hood to want me back (I want, I want, I want, I want)
I want the hood
Look what I done for you (Look what I done for you)
Look what I done for you
I said I’d do this for my culture
To let y’all know what a nigga look like in a bulletproof Rover
In my mama’s sofa was a doo-doo popper
Hair trigger, walk up closer, ain’t no Photoshoppin’
Friends bipolar, grab you by your pockets
No option if you froze up, always play the offense
Niggas goin’ to work and sellin’ work, late for work
Workin’ late, prayin’ for work, but he on paperwork
That’s the culture, point the finger, promote ya
Remote location, witness protection, they gon’ hold ya
The streets got me fucked up, y’all can miss me
I wanna represent, for us
New revolution was up and movin’
I’m in Argentina wiping my tears full of confusion
Water in between us, another peer’s been executed
History repeats again
Make amends, then find a nigga with the same skin to do it
But that’s the culture, crack a bottle
Hard to deal with the pain when you’re sober
By tomorrow, we forget the remains, we start over
That’s the problem
Our foundation was trained to accept whatever follows
Dehumanize, insensitive
Scrutinize the way we live for you and I
Enemies shook my hand, I can promise I’ll meet you
In the land where no equal is your equal
Never say I ain’t told ya, nah
In the land where hurt people hurt more people
Fuck callin’ it culture
(I want, I want, I want, I want)
But I want you to want me too (I want, I want, I want, I want)
I want the hood to want me back (I want, I want, I want, I want)
I want the hood
Look what I done for you (Look what I done for you)
Look what I done for you
Take the drums out
Phew, phew
Phew, phew
Phew
Celebrate new life when it come back around
The purpose is in the lessons we learnin’ now
Sacrifice personal gain over everything
Just to see the next generation better than ours
I wasn’t perfect, the skin I was in had truly suffered
Temptation and patience, everything that the body nurtures
I felt the good, I felt the bad, and I felt the worry
But all-in-all, my productivity had stayed urging
Face your fears, always knew that I would make it here
Where the energy is magnified and persevered
Consciousness is synchronized and crystal-clear
Euphoria is glorified and made His
Reflectin’ on my life and what I done
Paid dues, made rules, change outta love
Them same views made schools change curriculums
But didn’t change me starin’ down the barrel of that gun
Should I feel resentful I didn’t see my full potential?
Should I feel regret about the good that I was into?
Everything is everything, this ain’t coincidental
I woke up that morning with more heart to give you
As I bleed through the speakers, feel my presence
To my brother, to my kids, I’m in Heaven
To my mother, to my sis, I’m in Heaven
To my father, to my wife, I am serious, this is Heaven
To my friends, make sure you countin’ them blessings
To my fans, make sure you make them investments
And to the killer that sped up my demise
I forgive you, just know your soul’s in question
I seen the pain in your pupil when that trigger had squeezed
And though you did me gruesome, I was surely relieved
I completed my mission, wasn’t ready to leave
But fulfilled my days, my Creator was pleased
I can’t stress how I love y’all
I don’t need to be in flesh just to hug y’all
The memories recollect just because y’all
Celebrate me with respect
The unity we protect is above all
And Sam, I’ll be watchin’ over you
Make sure my kids watch all my interviews
Make sure you live all the dreams we produce
Keep that genius in your brain on the move
And to my neighborhood, let the good prevail
Make sure them babies and them lead us outta jail
Look for salvation when troubles get real
‘Cause you can’t help the world until you help yourself
And I can’t blame the hood the day that I was killed
Y’all had to see it, that’s the only way to feel
And though my physical won’t reap the benefits
The energy that carry on emits still
I want you
(uh oh!☹️) BACK TO THE LAB AGAIN! (oh no!😬) BACK TO THE LAB AGAIN! (We messed up😱) BACK TO THE LAB AGAIN! (Not again😒) BACK TO THE LAB AGAIN!🤓(uh oh!☹️) BACK TO THE LAB AGAIN!
(oh no!😬) BACK TO THE LAB AGAIN!
(We messed up😱) BACK TO THE LAB AGAIN!
(Not again😒) BACK TO THE LAB AGAIN!UH OH! Back to the Lab Again𝒃 𝒂 𝒄 𝒌
𝒕 𝒐
𝒕 𝒉 𝒆
𝒍 𝒂 𝒃
𝒂 𝒈 𝒂 𝒊 𝒏I'm actually so mad atm, I let an assignment go overdue, skipped a group presentation, and an online final exam to see Gimr's tech showcase, and if after all this it doesn't happen today I'm going to be so pissed. Actually don't know what to do with myself right nowIt's 2097. The few smashers left are still waiting for the GimR tech showcase. You lay on your deathbed, your family surrounding you. GimR, healthy as ever, walks into the room. He whispers into your ear, "The Gimz always wins". You close your eyes and ascend to the Great Beyond.
Benefits of watching morbius daily:
Day 1 - You watch morbius. Instantly love it.
Day 5 - Improved motivation and productivity. You feel as a whole a stronger human being
Day 10 - you have energy whenever you want and can sleep as long or short as you need to, people start getting jealous
Day 30 - Greater confidence and self-esteem. Mental clarity. Youre able to perfectly recite the script
Day 60 - Increased muscle mass, bone density, and cardiovascular capacity. Testosterone through the roof. Women start talking
Day 120 - Higher sperm count. Increased erection strength and duration. You’ve now memorised the choreography of the entire movie, you can execute the stunts and movements performed to a tee
Day 365 - Your voice deepens, and your skull becomes more chad-like. Increased erection girth and length.
Day 730 - Faster reaction time. 10 additional IQ points.
Day 1500 - Starbucks baristas start writing their numbers on your receipts. Your ex wants to get back together. You feel tempted but ultimately turn her down. You need more time to watch morbius.
Day 3000 - You can't keep up with all your tinder matches. Strange women begin hitting on you in public. You worry about your female boss. Fortunately, she keeps it professional.
Day 6000 - Ex shows up at your door crying and begging you to take her back. You don't even make eye contact—just call the police right away. Your female boss quits. She can't take it anymore and fears what she might do to you if she stays.
Day 12000 - Every swipe on tinder is a match. Even girls you swipe left get matched with you somehow. Romantic messages fill up your inbox every day—all 15gb of it—you upgrade your Gmail account to premium.
Day 30000 - You don't have to work anymore. Matt Sazama Burk Sharpless signs over half of his morbius royalties to you in a grand gesture of love. You tell him you love and appreciate all the good change hes bought to your life. He weeps quietly, but with a smile.
Day 60000 - Scientists propose that attraction to you be classified as its own sexual orientation, which will account for 97.5 percent of the world's population. Paradoxically, you no longer feel any sexual desire. You have achieved a higher consciousness and now love every human-being equally.
Day 100,000 – Your IQ increases by several morbillion. You come up with a workable model of quantum gravity in a rainy Sunday afternoon. Elon Musk steps down from SpaceX to work for you. You decide to put space exploration on hold to focus on achieving clean energy through nuclear fusion.
Day 200,000 - You've solved the problem of nuclear fusion. You also solved the problems of climate change, poverty, crime, and racism. You have been elected the very first President of the World.
Day 500,000 - you’ve watched morbius half a million times. You can psychically project the entire movie into whoever's mind you please. You have achieved everything, understood everything, and solved every problem faced by humanity. All that needs to be done has been done. There's nothing left to do.
You give your fellow humans one last look—they're still not watching morbius, trapped in their primitive way—but you don't judge. The path of Morbius was never meant for the ordinary men.
"Watch morbius. But if you must, use lube." Those were your parting words.
Now, released from all shackles of the mundane, and purified of all imperfections, your body ephemeralizes, as your ever-illuminated consciousness ascends into another dimension. It's morbin' timeThe results 📈are in and our gurl 💃🏻 sanders is out 🏳️🌈. Time to get ready for big daddy HOE Biden. He's cumming 💦💦 to DOMINATE🤼♂️ our HEAD of state 🍊 and his bitch💁🏻♀️ mike pence. He may be a donkey but he's big as a horse 🍆🐴 and is ready to touch 👋🤫😈 the hearts 💞of all Americans 🇺🇸. Cum erection day 🗳 y'all sluts better fill that hole 👉🏻👌 next to biden and relase✊ America's aching 🤤throbbing 😮 desire for green 🤑🤑energy, a ban 🛑on those naughty big black guns💪🏾, and more money to pay💵💰💸 those slutty nurses 👩⚕️💁♀️ to make us all feel better 👄🥴. Cum 💦 hoevember help the needy 👅🧎🏻♂️ by supporting big daddy Biden 👨🏻🦳and naughty Nancy💁♀️👏 and give dirty Donald 🎩, bitch McConnell 🐢, and those filthy 😷😏 reSUBlicans🐘 blue balls🔵. Send to 🔟 of your most deviant 😈democrats. If you get 5️⃣back ur a Biden bitch 💅🏻💵. if u get 🔟 u will spend a hot 🔥 December⛄️night with those skanks at the ERECToral 😏🍆 college 🏛.)
I was driving with a friend
I grab his leg instead of the gearstick
We both laugh and I unzip his pants
I park the car while fondling with his balls, my friend is laughing because he knows it's a joke and we're just friends
I start sucking his dick and was about to choke on it because I'm laughing so hard
My friend is also laughing his ass off, he starts making train noise while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB CHOO CHOO"
He then cums and then I swallow it all and kiss him while both laughing cuz we know it's a joke.
Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro.